Chapter Text
Episode 1
GOING SOLO
08/02/2009
INT. BLAINE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
A room with blank beige wall, no pictures or curtains on the windows. Boxes are stacked and pushed against the walls, some open, but mostly closed.
BLAINE is sitting on the floor with the boxes surrounding him. He is wearing a blue t-shirt with yellow letters that spell out CARSON JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL PHYS ED, jeans rolled at the ankles, and bare feet. He looks directly into the camera with a resigned look on his face, and sighs before starting to speak.
BLAINE
I don’t know where I’m going to sleep, tonight.
No, I’m serious. There is currently no furniture in my room. No furniture, only boxes. My mom ordered a new bed for me - I graduated from a twin to a QUEEN, yay! - and it was supposed to be delivered by this weekend. The mattress store called this morning - it’s on backorder and won’t arrive until Tuesday at the earliest.
Maybe I can push all these boxes together and sleep on them?
BLAINE attempts to sit on an empty cardboard box which collapses making him fall through.
BLAINE
My name is Blaine and I’m new here.
BEGIN TITLES
Still photos of BLAINE at various ages, selfies and short video clips of BLAINE performing or hamming it up for the camera are cut together over BLAINE singing the chorus of Mika's Grace Kelly.
BLAINE
I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!
TITLE CARD of the words "BLAINE in Real Life" animated on a pink background
EXT. ANDERSON HOUSE FRONT YARD - EARLIER THE SAME DAY
BLAINE is holding the camera facing him as he walks down his driveway. Movers are carrying furniture and boxes out of a large U-Haul truck.
BLAINE
As you can see, I’m in the middle of a big move and things aren’t quite settled yet.
The camera focuses on the movers, switching to fast motion, while a generic royalty free instrumental song plays. Their movements are sped up as they enter the house with items then return to the truck for more. Once, Blaine's dad stands on the porch, saying something to the movers, then returning into the house.
BLAINE
My dad got a new job as the head of a company in western Ohio, which is awesome for him, but means that the entire family was uprooted and dragged halfway across the state.
It was hard leaving all my friends behind, especially by two besties, Ellie and Josh. We've been friends since the beginning of middle school after we all joined show choir. It was kind of a big deal at our old school. Don't get me wrong - choir kids were still considered massively geeky by the rest of the students, but we were really good at what we did. Two years in a row, we won the Midwest Intermediate Regional Show Choir Championship, and last year, we sang at the State Fair.
A picture briefly appears in the right top corner of the screen. In it, the choir is mid song on stage at the Ohio State Fair, BLAINE in the center with a microphone in his hand.
BLAINE
In seventh grade, Ellie, Josh and I started fooling around, making videos of ourselves singing, dancing, and making up crazy skits, which we posted to YouTube. We have over 1,000 subscribers who watch us make fools of ourselves every week.
Jump cut to a fifteen second clip of BLAINE with a girl and a boy - Ellie and Josh - dressed in 1990s inspired hip-hop clothes, attempting the dance from Salt'N'Peppa's "Shoop" video.
BLAINE
Since I now live far far far away from Ellie and Josh, I’m no longer going to be making videos with them on our old channel. They promised to keep posting, so go check it out.
It’s time for me to branch out on my own - do my own thing, be my own man. What’s better for a new beginning than starting a new channel? I just moved to a new house in a new city, and soon I’m going to be starting high school not knowing anyone. So, I thought I’d document my transition into a brand new life.
Of course, knowing me, there will be plenty of music and singing and dancing, too.
In consolation for dragging me away from my home and my friends, my parents did hook me up with a new camera, so hopefully I can make some quality videos.
PHOTO MONTAGE of BLAINE, Ellie, Josh and other friends plays while BLAINE waxes on nostalgically.
BLAINE
It was hard leaving all of my friends behind. We had so many great times in middle school, with show choir and school musicals. We acted like complete idiots and laughed at ourselves.
There were also times in middle school that completely sucked, and I’m glad are over now.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and all that jazz.
We return to BLAINE in his empty bedroom, sitting on the floor among the boxes, looking sad and serious.
BLAINE
So, here’s to new beginnings. It’s exciting to be able to start over new. I’ve already googled my school obsessively, and may have even face book stalked some kids who list it as their high school in their profiles. There’s only so much you can learn, though. It really is the wild unknown.
To all of the people who followed me here from our old channel, I’m really glad you’re here!
To my dear dear friends, especially Ellie and Josh - I miss you already! Good luck in all your adventures and tell me all about them.
CUT TO BLACK