Chapter Text
Naomasa felt like he was getting torn in all directions, and he couldn’t see straight anymore. In his head, he couldn't stop replaying that one chance he’d had to arrest Entropy, right after USJ when he’d been right there with two unbroken arms. He’d missed that chance because he’d been quirkist and stupid, and he could recognize that now, but it was too late.
The Tartarus battle was still ongoing, or so Naomasa had been told. He was currently heading over to the HPSC with half of his officers to try to help as much as he could there. Reports were getting called in of villain attacks all over the country, as villains from Tartarus left to do damage elsewhere. Naomasa couldn’t be everywhere at once, and even if he could… what could he do against all these opponents?
Watching the Tartarus battle had been sickening, and Naomasa was feeling more useless than he’d ever felt in his life. There were too many casualties on the hero side and not nearly enough arrests on the villain side, and Naomasa was unable to help in the slightest. What could he do? He’d relied on his quirk for everything, and now that it wasn’t helping, he regretted not taking a leaf out of Entropy’s book and learning how to do more without it.
But he couldn’t do anything about that now except try the hardest he could with the skills he did have.
As they got closer to the HPSC, he dialed into the frequency of the hero comms.
The lines were chaotic, heroes talking and screaming, and Naomasa honestly didn’t think it was even worth having the comms at this point, given how many people were talking on them at once.
Aizawa’s voice came across suddenly, clear and precise. “Requesting a tactical retreat,” he said firmly. Naomasa could hear it exceptionally clearly, so he had to assume everyone else could too. And he knew if Aizawa was calling for a technical retreat, then they needed one. Badly.
“Denied,” Nighteye coughed, voice crackling over the line. “We can finish this.”
Naomasa’s police car pulled up to the scene and he climbed out of the car, staring at the wreckage. The entire battlefield was made of broken up pieces of concrete and destroyed cars. An entire nine blocks of buildings had been leveled, and in the middle, the remains of the HPSC were still burning, sending black smoke into the air. Dead and injured heroes were scattered around amongst injured villains. Too much chaos was around here for any of this fight to make sense.
“Overruled,” he said shakily. “This is Tsukauchi Naomasa, calling for a tactical retreat.”
Where to send them? They had to go somewhere safe.
“Head to UA,” he said as authoritatively as he could. Hopefully Nezu would forgive him for this, but the heroes had to regroup, and UA was strategically the best place for them to go. It had incredible security. No villains would be getting in there, even if they chased the heroes all the way over.
He watched as heroes started disengaging and running from the scene, picking up fallen comrades and helping injured colleagues away. The hero students filed off, helping each other up.
The villains were being surprisingly cool with their retreat. As soon as the heroes stepped off the square of leveled areas, the villains left them alone, coming back in and circling around Entropy like he was their queen bee. And he just watched, head tipped to the side, a tiny green figure amidst a field of destruction.
The medic station was moved too, far too many people on stretchers for Naomasa to count. He got in his car and started to head for UA, to warn Nezu there were people coming.
Nezu already knew, to no one’s surprise, and the gates were already open when Naomasa got there. He was the first to arrive, and a few minutes after him the first defeated fighters started straggling in. They convened in UA’s auditorium, a new medic station was set up on the stage, and Recovery Girl could be seen moving back and forth from the stage to her office with supplies.
“We lost,” Kamui sighed, walking up to Naomasa. He looked incredibly tired, beaten and bruised, like he was hanging onto life with shaking fingers that threatened to slip at any moment.
“They came too fast,” Naomasa answered, trying to cheer him up as well as he could. “We didn’t stand a chance this time, but we can regroup. We can get them next time.” He didn’t have a lot of hope, not with Entropy at their head, but they needed to try and try to win until they either all died or won. That was their job.
Aizawa was sitting in front of the stage, all of his students huddled around him. He was talking to them, using his hands a lot more than he usually did in conversation. Naomasa counted.
Seventeen students. Weren’t there supposed to be eighteen? He glanced up at the medic station, trying to find the eighteenth. No luck. He didn’t know which one was missing.
Kan was nearby too, with his students. All twenty of them were there too, which was a relief.
When no new heroes had come in for a while, Naomasa did a quick headcount. The group looked significantly too small.
Hero casualties at the HPSC battle: twenty-nine.
Injured: sixty-three.
Quirkless: eleven, not including Ragdoll.
Missing: ten.
One hundred four heroes, not including the heroics students, had managed to come to fight at the HPSC. And almost all of them were injured or dead. Naomasa looked at Nezu. The rat was frowning, fully frowning, as he looked at the heroes around him.
Naomasa thought if they had to fight again… they didn’t stand a good chance of winning.
Entropy, young and quirkless, had beaten them all.
–
When the heroes called for a tactical retreat, Reiki didn’t go back with them to UA. Instead, she headed straight for her hospital. The streets around the HPSC were chaotic, people panicking and trying to evacuate.
It was pointless, it was all pointless. Where could they go where Deku couldn't reach them? Nowhere, now. He’d be able to find them wherever they went. And maybe he would – Reiki didn’t know anymore. He was too far gone.
She rushed into her hospital. It was crowded, people panicking and nurses running around doing their best to help everyone who’d been injured and had just gone to the first hospital they could find. She hurried past them, and headed straight for Eri’s room. The girl had woken up a few hours ago, and right after checking up on her, Reiki had left to help the heroes against Deku. He’d gone too far, much too far.
The boy he’d stabbed – Kacchan – had very nearly died. It was a close call, but between Reiki and Recovery Girl, he’d managed to pull through. Reiki would not be informing Deku that he’d survived, because if she did, he might try again and succeed. Reiki didn’t know what had happened to Deku’s moral compass, but something had destroyed it, shaken it up and pointed the arrow in an entirely wrong direction.
She came into the room. Eri looked up, looking relieved when she saw it was Reiki. “Is Deku coming?” she asked, voice a little raspy still from underuse for the past couple days.
“I’ll call him in just a second,” Reiki responded, opening her phone. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” she answered quietly. “I don’t feel foggy anymore.”
“Good,” Reiki said, smiling as warmly as she could at the little girl. “‘Kay, I’m going to call Deku. He’ll be here soon, all right?”
Eri nodded a little.
Reiki hit Deku’s contact and held the phone up to her ear. He picked up on the third ring. “Reiki,” he said flatly.
“Deku. She’s awake,” Reiki said immediately.
Deku hung up.
–
“She’s awake.”
Those two words were enough to tear Entropy from looking at the burning city. He enjoyed staring at it from rooftops, admiring the chaos. He’d been right, as a kid – tearing down the heroes did, in fact, destroy society. It was beautiful. A world that only hurt others was now hurting too. It got what it deserved – everything did.
But hearing that Eri was awake snapped him right out of it. Something stirred in his heart. He brushed it away dispassionately and it disappeared as he carefully began the journey to Reiki’s hospital. It would have been easier with Kurogiri there, but some sacrifices had to be made. There were many villains around who could help him get there quickly, faster than he could walk, at least.
The people crowded in the waiting room of the hospital stared at him with terrified eyes. He ignored them, walking past nurses to go straight into the hospital. What could they do? Not call the heroes, surely, when they were all in disarray.
He entered Eri’s hospital room, pleased to find her awake.
How many times had he sat in here beside her lifeless body? Too many, probably. It was illogical to sit in one place for so long.
But she was sitting propped up now, eyes open and curious.
She took one look at him and her expression turned worried. “Deku-kun?”
Well, he didn’t go by that anymore, but he’d been called that once, yes. He decided it was best to just respond to it. “Hello.”
“Are you…” She curled in on herself a little. “You look hurt,” she murmured cautiously. “On the inside.”
She was always so perceptive. Entropy wondered how he could use that. Maybe if they nurtured it she could act as an empath? She’d be a hell of a lie detector… His heart tugged at him a little harder, almost angrily. Don’t think about her like that. He pushed it away. “I’m doing well. Thank you for your concern.”
Her tiny body curled in even further, hospital gown shifting with the movement. Her red eyes blinked up about him worriedly. “Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened. I fixed the world for you.”
She shuddered, face contorting like some odd memory had come up. “You fixed… the world.”
“I did. Would you like to see?”
Eri’s eyes flickered around the room, as though she was looking for an escape, and then she nodded slowly. “Okay.”
He motioned for her to follow him. She did, tentatively, hesitating before falling into step next to him. He led her through the hallways, up an elevator and one flight of stairs until they were on the roof. The smell of smoke hit Entropy’s nose and he grinned. Finally, the world was tasting some of its own medicine.
“See?” he said triumphantly, waving an arm out to show what he’d done.
Eri flinched away from the view, head turned down.
“Are you happy?” Entropy demanded, leaning down to force her to look at him. “I did this for you. I fixed it, see? No one can hurt you anymore.”
Eri shook her head, staring right at the ground, so he couldn’t see her expression. “I don’t like it, Deku-sama. I don’t like it at all. It’s sad and lonely and I don’t like it.”
She didn’t like it? But he’d done it for her. He’d fixed the problem in the world that needed correcting, the problem that heroes never wanted to help anyone, only wanted to hurt. Well, now they couldn’t hurt anyone, because the heroes were falling. Now everyone had to pay attention to the people hidden in the shadows, because there would only be shadows.
“Why did you…” A tear dropped from her cheek onto the roof of the building, making an almost soundless splatter in the ash. “Why would you do that? I don’t like it, Deku-sama. You said…” She sniffled, one hand coming up to rub at her nose. “You said it’s not good to hurt things to help other people. So I don’t understand why…” Sniffling again, she looked up and met his eyes. Confusion and worry were etched in every detail of her face, in the tears filling her wide red eyes. She looked heartbroken. “What did you do?”
What did he do? He… He broke the world for her. He burned the place down so they could live better in it. He’d forced the world to accept them both. Entropy had grabbed the society with both hands and dashed its brain out on a nearby rock. And Eri… could only see the destruction. She was looking at him now, eyes brimming with tears, and Entropy realized suddenly all she saw in him was Chisaki.
The feeling in his heart swelled to bursting and Entropy shattered.
Useless useless useless Deku. Couldn’t even destroy the world right. What are you good for? Was it all worth it?
Deku looked out over the broken, burning city and curled his shoulders around his throbbing heart. Was this all worth it? Was it worth it was it worth it was it worth it…
He’d fixed the world, yes. He’d succeeded. But… nothing was left behind. Burnt buildings, looming shadows, screams in the street. What did he do? He broke an already broken world. He proved that he could do anything, and the world cowered in response. What did he do? He terrified a young girl that he would do anything for.
“Oh, Eri,” he whispered, chest aching. He reached out for her, worried. “I’m…”
Flinching back, she ran for the door. Something tugged in his heart again and he forced it down with shaking hands. No. No. He couldn’t deal with Inko and Stain now, too. Keep it all down, don’t feel anything, go back into Entropy, ignore my cracking heart–
“I’m so sorry…”
Eri disappeared into the building, and Deku cracked. Gone. She was gone.
Who all had died because of him? He could list it on his fingers, but he’d run out. Stain. Wouldn’t have been in Hosu if you’d just stopped him, would he? Wouldn’t have been anywhere near Native if you’d dragged him away. Mom– Mom… A target because of everything you did. She would hate what you’re like now, she would cry and cry and cry because useless Deku can’t do anything right, he just fucks up everything he touches. Remember her smile– no– push it away, no–
Unraveling. He was unraveling, masks falling away, shards cutting his heart to pieces as every emotion he’d blocked out hit him in a painful wave.
Izuku hesitantly turned back to the city and drew back in horror at the wreckage he’d caused. How had he let himself become this? He’d wanted to be a hero, hadn’t he? What kind of hero…
Everything used to be full of love and hope, didn’t it? He could remember that smile. That feeling of knowing everything would be okay. Only things under pressure snapped, and both Izuku and society had had too much pressure on them to stay whole. They’d degraded and warped and snapped, and now…
This wasn’t what he’d wanted. Izuku hadn’t wanted any of this. This wasn’t what he’d dreamed of, as a kid, when he watched that stupid video over and over and over, listened to people cheer as a booming voice called “I am here!” Izuku had whispered about his own existence and no one had listened. I am here. Deku yelled about it, and no one had listened. I am here, I’m here too, look, right here, please, I’m right here. Entropy had screamed about it, destroying everything in his path, and everyone had been forced to listen. Look right here, or regret it.
Izuku had asked, long ago, if he’d be more useful in a world where no one accepted him, or a world where everyone had to. He’d found his answer. He’d be most useful in a world where everyone wanted to. And he’d failed to make that world. Failed. Failure. Broken.
He crumpled on the roof, letting all the pain he’d suppressed finally hit him. Tears flooded his eyes, sending his shattered world into a blur– and it was his, he’d made it, he was at the top. His lonely, corrupted world that he’d carelessly crafted with dispassionate hands and sharp smiles. Look right here, or regret it. They regretted it. Izuku regretted it. Maybe he’d been looking in the wrong places too. Stain wouldn’t have gone this far. Mom…wouldn’t have wanted this. No one would have wanted this… Izuku had failed the world.
Maybe he was useless after all.
Useless useless useless Deku. Can’t do anything helpful. What a waste of space.
All Might was right. Someone quirkless could never be a hero. But someone quirkless… could do this. Villain.
Izuku took the shell of his heart and held it out, reaching for someone to fill it again. But he’d taken all the good in the world and he’d crumpled it up in his hands. There was no one left to help him. Who would? The League wouldn’t. He’d killed Dabi and Kurogiri, and he’d made friends with fickle people. His mom was dead, thanks to him. Dabi was dead, thanks to him. Katsuki was dead, thanks to him. Reiki was hurt and couldn’t even look at him straight on anymore. There was no one left. No one and no one and no one except himself and the destruction he’d caused.
Izuku was alone on a roof again, looking out at a plume of smoke in the distance.
“I cannot simply say you can become a hero even without power,” All Might had said, mist spiraling away from his shriveled body.
Useless useless useless.
“I got to train the world’s first quirkless hero,” Stain had said, the traces of a fond smile hanging in his eyes. “What other payment would I want?”
Uselessuselessuselessuselessuseless–
“Okay,” Eri had said quietly, looking right at him. “I trust you.”
What… had he done?