Chapter Text
Chemistry VI
Princess Peach tiptoe around the tall grass, thick bushes, and numerous forest trees. She was lost, helpless, and unequipped for the safari, having nothing with her save for the pink long flowing gown on her back. After freeing her shoe from the third viscous mud patch, she stumbled forward into a clearance with a gentle flowing pond and small waterfall. Crystal clear and inviting, the princess couldn't help rushing for the clearance and to the edge of the pond. She'd found refreshment, her and something else..
Red eyes followed her the entire way, focusing intensely when she bend down for a drink. Peach jolted up, hearing a twig snap.
"Beach party!" screamed a group of girls prancing forward ill timed and completely ruining the scene. Peach sigh as her doppelgangers ran on 'stage'.
"I thought this was the next scene! Give me that!" She snatch the super crown off the nearest Peach. In a flash that person became a very flustered and red faced Toad, except of course still dressed as Peach. The camera men expertly hidden in the foliage where not able to cut the cameras soon enough. It was too late. Baby Mario the director caught sight of the unshaved legs, pot belly, and two left feet crammed in the high heels.
"Goo!" B. Mario shout, crossing his little arms in an 'x' symbol of disgust.
Bowser popped out of the bush he was spying from. "What? We're changing the scene before the good part?! Gah!"
The other two peach's, also toads from the castle, and adult Mario off screen expressed annoyance as well. Daisy as part of the film crew and the unnamed extras were bummed, especially since the expensive bus ride Baby Peach chose to this abandoned location was a complete rip off. (A hundred coins per person and no discount for the babies!) Where the other babies were? Missing oddly, though B. Mario was too preoccupied with his hit movie and his darling B. Peach to notice for now.
Next the scene was reached by dusk and it was an area on the other end of the massive forest. The darkening sky was red and fog was setting in. Shy Guy #1, the only one with a flashlight, revealed the creepy two story cabin, also the scene for the next part of the movie. Baby Mario's directors seat was planted firmly in place and the smoke machine was turned on. The pale mist hung low to the ground and spread through the short rusty gate surrounding the house.
Mario cautiously step on the porch first and the door opened itself for him. He shrugged and move on with Peach on his heels and Bowser on hers.
"Uh oh," Mario whisper with a swift halt in his steps.
"What Mario?" Peach replied, clinging to his shoulder.
Mario suppressed a shiver as cold air slice through him. "I forgot my scarf!"
The main room was spacious with white sheet covered furniture like a couch, bookshelf, and piano in the corners and a set of rotting wooden steps leading up.
Bowser glare at the camera. "Action?"
"Hopefully," mutter Lakitu, entering with the rest of the crew. Lastly, Daisy as the designated keeper brought in Baby Mario and Baby Peach. There were now thirteen in the house- or so they thought..
"Ooooooh oooooh oooooh!" cry a voice. Peach and many others let out a high pitched shriek.
"Now who said my line before me?" Bowser growl. Boom! Snap! The power cut switching the 'Hollywood darkness' for real pitch black darkness.
"It's over for aaaall of you!" someone that distantly sounded like Luigi said. This made many jump.
Waving around in the dark B. Mario ignored that, more concerned that someone must have step on a power cord. The smokey vapor was rising up to the adults necks almost, forcing them to fan the air.
"Can you uh, tone it down?" Daisy suggested before coughing. "And who was that?"
"Goo!" B. Mario exclaim in desperation as it was likely just one of their unnamed camera people fooling around. He thought he was the only one around with a brain. He found the door and left the cabin. Right next to the front door was an outlet and the smoke machine.
Which was never plugged in…
The door blew itself open, launching the baby far away on his butt, then slam itself shut, disturbing the smoke 'effect' greatly. Screaming came from the house and a blue glow flashed in the windows. The baby became petrified, even more so when a person just walking through the gate stepped up.
Armed with a backpack of equipment and his Poltergust 9999, it was Prof E. Gadd whose Boo counter rose to 200%. His little strands of hair stood up and his forehead wrinkle at the sight of the person in the yard. "Baby Mario?" Gadd question, pressing a button on the dangerous machine. "Stay right there for me, sonny!"
Baby Mario jump up and ran back up on the cabin's porch. He bang on the doors and mysteriously, they decided to open just for him. The interior was a complete mist yet, somehow, that was less terrifying than whatever the mad scientist behind him was planning with that vacuum cleaner. In he ran just as Prof Gadd stop before the steps, being momentarily distracted by familiarity.
"Hey, you're ruining my plan!" a deep voice shouted. Revealing himself from a very obvious and incongruent fake tree that was there the entire time was King Boo. He floated in as well very quickly to see his little boo army scattered around panicking along with Mario and co.
"Get that guy away from us!" Mario screamed. He, the camera crew, and the small legion of boos he was supposed to be afraid of were running in circles away from Prof Gadd. The super crown wearing Toad extras were tripping and falling on their faces with the dress and heels, making them easy pickings for the boos. Peach had hidden herself behind the piano with a white blanket. Bowser was standing around near the lamp tapping his foot impatiently with no regard to anything else. Daisy was squaring off with a holographic looking Luigi and embarrassingly for him, Daisy was winning. She had him pinned to the ground and bent his arm backwards.
"Oww! Okay okay!" Luigi plead in an echoy but still whinny tone.
But the babies were no where to be found!
Cursing the idiots he'd hired for his scheme, King Boo noticed a dropped pacifier near the steps. It was even dustier upstairs than below and there was only a single empty bedroom and the attic with the ladder hanging down. Peeking up there King Boo grin maliciously. His most vicious warrior, Boo Diddley had his targets Baby Mario and Baby Peach cornered against the little open window that lead twenty feet to the ground outside.
Boo Diddley float closer and closer and while King Boo could only observe from behind he just knew the babies time was over. Then Boo stopped.
King Boo gave a start. "Why the heck are you stopping?!" He covered his mouth. "Oops!"
"Goo goo!" B. Mario accused, pointing a childish finger.
King Boo wouldn't be able to respond because right after, something whacked him in the back of the head. Knocked dizzy for a moment he slip off the ladder and tumbled back to the second floor. The last thing he saw was the color green before he was hit again by a baseball bat.
Baby Luigi dropped it to the floor, taking a deep breath before climbing up that ladder. "Goo goo goo!" he shout to make the boo freeze inches away from the babies. With B. Mario and Peach holding hands, Boo spun around and noticed B. Luigi.
"I'm your biggest fan!" Boo said with a complete demeanor change. "Well, mostly of regular Luigi but still!"
Ironically, B. Luigi wouldn't have time to understand that, because this time Baby Mario knocked Boo out from behind, using, yes, another baseball bat. Boo fell flat out of the air with their tongue sticking out and plop on the ground. The danger was over and all thanks to that old coat wearing noki, who while insisting on not intervening was eager to at least drive B. Luigi to this cabin spot. Where was he anyway, B. Luigi wondered?
B. Mario left the embrace of B. Peach to approach B. Luigi. They held eye contact for a moment then B. Mario extended a hand. B. Luigi wasn't sure if he should but this war had to end eventually. He shook his clone brother's hand and it was a truce. If only they could now manage this Super Crown issue!
..Actually, coming down stairs their wishes came true. The fog machine had stopped, Prof Gadd had captured all of the boos, the film crew were mostly okay, and on the floor exhausted were the bruised up Peach doppelgangers with the real Peach looking on in pittance.
"You see dears, that is what happens when you try to me be and run around in high heels," she quip. The toads were so traumatized they flung off their crowns never to wear them again.
"King Boo made me do it! That's why I was so weak even under his control," Luigi explained, shivering but now looking like his normal self.
Daisy smiled. "Are you sure that was the only reason?"
Luigi nervously smiled back and blush.
"Enough stupid romance!" Bowser blurt out. "Also is the movie still going or what?"
Baby Mario looked at them all and to their surprise shook his head. "Goo goo goo goo. Goo. Goo goo goo!"
Mario's jaw nearly hit the ground. "We're done with all of this elitist stuff?"
B. Mario nodded then turn to B. Peach. The blonde tilt her head to the side in a way to suggest that whatever he was happy with she was too. But then there was a low growl coming from upstairs. To their horror King Boo appeared with a huge knot on his head. He pushed the babies down the steps.
"It's over!" Luigi bravely shout while all else were silent. "You took advantage of me when I only wanted the status quo and tried to make me hurt my friends! Go away forever!"
King Boo rushed up, standing off inches away. "...Okay whatever."
And so everyone, EVERYONE, just walk out the cabin like nothing ever happened leaving Luigi standing in the middle of the room flustered. Had all of these events really happened? Numbly leaving the house and trekking through the yard to get out of dodge himself, he was inclined to think so. In fact the only thing that brought him back to reality was the presence of one small man, a noki, standing around the forest path.
"Mon ami," he said in a low tone with a weak maybe even sly smile, "yes this happened. Yes something like this will happen again. Yes this was pointless-"
"-Making this yet another 'Shaggy dog'," Luigi moan. He face palmed. Twas the twisted world of Chemistry!
….
At ten o' clock that night, Toadette, fully armored (if a baseball helmet and umpire gear counted), emerged from her bed room. She spent all day conducting research on what was the natural enemy of both babies and Peaches and she'd found it. Strutting around the castle armed with stacks of thick manila folders, Toadette found everything completely normal. There were no babies or extra Peaches.
"Mrs. Toadette, where are you going?" Toadsworth asked her when she reached the front door.
Toadette dropped the folders to the ground and lifted off her helmet. "I'm not sure anymore," she admitted. "I feel like I missed something really important."
Just then Yoshi walked in but before he said a word he saw that stacks of tax papers Toadette had just dropped. Shifty eyed, and glanced at the two.
"You know if you're having any issues I can, uh, help you with that.."