Chapter Text
“Is it just me, or do we finally have a minute to breathe?” Cullen remarked to Tomas, who responded with a bright smile and a happy babble that convinced Cullen that he understood everything he said.
Things had happened quickly after the Arbor Wilds, quicker than any of them had really been prepared for. No one had expected Corypheus to attack Skyhold directly, but he had tried. Tried and failed, Cullen was happy to note. Trevelyan had destroyed him, and everyone bar Solas had returned to the Keep. That alone was a cause for celebration, a chance to lay some of the troubles down was welcomed.
The party that Josephine had put together in record time was impressive, though Cullen preferred to hang back near the doors rather than get too involved in the drinking and merriment.
Dorian caught his eye, as he always did, sitting at one of the tables with Varric and Bull, chatting away happily with a goblet in hand. Cullen smiled at the way the candlelight made Dorian’s eyes shine as he threw his head back and laughed at some story Varric was telling. He looked relaxed, and happy, and the sight alone was enough to make Cullen feel better after a long and anxious day. At least until Tomas got bored of being ignored and pulled his hair.
“Ow. Don’t be a brat. I’m allowed to look at someone other than you.” Cullen chided, balancing Tomas on his knee as he sat in a chair. He could just see the top of Dorian’s head and a wildly gesturing arm from his slightly lower position. The man seemed to be enjoying himself, and Cullen couldn’t help the way his stomach clenched to see it.
They hadn’t discussed what they were in any real depth, and beyond a few stolen kisses in corridors and a blissful evening spent with Cullen’s head in Dorian’s lap while the other man had rocked Tomas to sleep with one arm. Cullen wanted to ask him what this was, to make it clear. He wasn’t very good at subtly or hints. He wanted it laid out, so everyone knew. But asking was always just a step too far for him.
He knew it was foolish, Dorian was a grown man, who had even admitted that he’d pursued him a little more actively than he should have. But Cullen couldn’t help but worry. Dorian seemed so free and young, at least compared to him; it felt like he was clipping his wings by tying him down with the ex-Templar Commander and his infant son. Dorian may adore Tomas now, but what would happen if he came to resent them for making him stay?
“You know you’re doing the whole of Skyhold a disservice right now.” A voice broke him out of his thoughts, and Cullen found himself staring straight at the person he’d been thinking about. Dorian was looking at him with an amused smile, hands already holding onto Tomas’ as the baby had turned enthusiastically to greet him.
“I am?” Cullen blinked, making Dorian laugh in a way that made Cullen smile almost immediately.
“You know there are Noble ladies just dying to see the Commander’s adorable son and wax poetic about how sad it is and how brave you are to raise him alone.” Dorian’s moustache twitched and Cullen relinquished his hold on Tomas so Dorian could hold him instead. “They’ll be recommending the finest schools and tutors in no time.”
Cullen made a face. “We’ve got time.”
Maker, they did have time. For the first time in months they had time. There still things to be done, but it wasn’t the same. They could make plans for the future. Their future. Cullen swallowed as he watched Dorian make a face at Varric and Bull, pointing them out to Tomas. What better time to find out what this was then now?
Cullen stood, not entirely sure what he was doing as he took Tomas from a bemused looking Dorian. He glanced around the hall, Cassandra was busy in a corner with the Inquisitor, a blush on her cheeks as he whispered in her ear, Sera was trying to teach Cole how to juggle, and his eyes fell upon Vivienne surrounded by a small group of Noble ladies. She’d do.
“Vivienne, if you wouldn’t mind. Lord Dorian and I... need a moment.” Before she had any time to protest she found herself with an armful of baby, and she went from glaring to looking mildly amused. Cullen found himself slightly jealous of Tomas’ ability to charm anyone he came into contact with.
“Hm, I suppose you do my dear. Though if you come back to find the boy in ringlets and speaking Orlesian I can’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Dorian continued to look bemused even as Cullen led him out of the hall and into the rotunda, now eerily abandoned with Solas gone. “Is there a reason we’re leaving the party? And why you’re subjecting poor Tomas to the masses without you there to protect him? Because I know Vivienne is no stranger to children, but mark my words Orlesians have a way of-”
“I love you.”
Dorian trailed off, his eyes finding Cullen’s face in the dim light. Cullen stared at the walls, barely even noticing the intricate mural. “What?”
“I, uh.” Cullen took a breath. “I love you. But I’m not sure... I’m not sure what this is.” He moved to sit down on the chaise lounge, suddenly feeling very tired. “I don’t want to hold you back Dorian, I know there was talk of you returning to Tevinter, and I don’t know what I could even offer you here...”
Dorian was still standing, eyes trailing over the lines of paint as he listened to Cullen. He rarely was so silent, and Cullen shifted a little. “Isn’t it funny...” Dorian finally spoke, a small smile playing about his lips. “Here I was, plucking up the courage under the duress of Varric and Bull to have this very same conversation with you, only for you to beat me to it. With no alcohol involved at all. You shame me Commander.” He turned and crossed the room to sit beside Cullen, leaning against the wall.
“You... wanted to have this conversation?” Cullen frowned a little, and Dorian made a noise of frustration in the back of his throat.
“Did it not occur to you that maybe I would be worried too? Look at you, the Commander of the Inquisition, a good man, a father. What could I possibly offer you?” Dorian chuckled. “Though of course, I know the answer to that question. And it’s me. I can only offer you myself.”
“That’s all I can offer you too.” Cullen rubbed the back of his neck.
“Not true, you have an extra.”
“Some would say that wasn’t a good thing.”
“Those people are fools.” Dorian sat up suddenly, cupping Cullen’s chin with one hand and tilting the man’s head up so he could look him the eyes. Cullen blinked and flushed under the sudden intense stare.
“Dorian...”
“No,” Dorian shook his head. “Let me say this, I detest confessions and would very much like this one over. I may not be a good man, but I know myself. And I know I’d be the biggest fool if I even considered leaving you, or Tomas. I’ve grown... very fond of you both. You especially.”
Cullen couldn’t have kept the smile off his face if he’d tried. “Fond?” He asked innocently, drawing one of those wonderful laughs from Dorian.
“Yes Cullen, I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Dorian let go of his face and Cullen leaned over to press a kiss to the other man’s cheek. “I’m still not sure what kind of a father I’ll make, but I’m willing to try, if you are.”
“You can join me in that at least.” Cullen chuckled. Dorian leaned in and Cullen closed the gap between them, savouring this quiet moment. “Though right now I’d just like you to join me...”
Cullen didn’t get to finish his proposal, as the door to the rotunda sprang open, Vivienne striding in with a sleepy Tomas tucked happily under her arm. “There you are my dears.” She said, with a smile and a voice that said she knew exactly what they’d been doing. “Our darling Tomas was sick on a Dowager’s best silk dress and she is positively fuming. I thought it best for you both to put him to bed, while I try to smooth things over for us all. I’ve sent your apologies to the Inquisitor ahead of you.”
The mischievous gleam in her eye betrayed her, and Cullen smiled gratefully as he took Tomas from her. An excuse to leave the party right now was welcomed, and no doubt Vivienne had also gained something from having Tomas act as a living weapon.
“Well. It seems the work of a parent is never done.” Dorian looked bemused, and Cullen squeezed his hand.
“It seems not. I’ll understand if you want to go back to the party...” A soft kiss interrupted him and Dorian ran an idle hand through Tomas’ hair as he looked between them.
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”