Chapter Text
Toshinori knew there was something different about the boy from the moment he saw him, really saw him. An odd inkling that he mostly passed off as the usual attachment to a promising youth he managed to get out of danger. It came again when the boy clung to him and disclosed that he was quirkless. The same as Toshi once was, so he was certain that was all there was to this strange instinctual pull. It was just a vague sense of kinship based on passing impressions. It would fade.
“No one can change anything without power.”
A sad truth, perhaps, but reality was something the boy had to face eventually. Better sooner rather than later and better for that bright youth to understand and find a better path before he got seriously hurt.
The sludge villain had gotten free. Even when Toshi realized his mistake and found the villain grappling another child and other heroes nearby attempting a rescue, Toshi was on his last embers of power for the day, he'd used so much already.
It was the same boy from the roof that rushed in when Toshi couldn't. For a brief moment, somehow Toshi thought he saw the same boy rushing in recklessly, sword in hand. But then Toshi blinked and it wasn't a sword, it was a backpack. He was trying so hard to save the other boy, his friend. It stirred something in Toshi. An answering urge to help surged to the fore and Toshi called One For All, surpassing his limitation and taking down the sludge villain once again.
Once again he felt a connection with that strange stuttering quirkless youth and this time he thought he knew what it meant.
He was on a mission when he came to Mustafu city. He was going to find an heir and pass on One For All. Clearly fate was telling him something. This was the one Toshi was meant to pass his power to. This was the one that was worthy to become his successor.
They would begin training immediately. The youth was still untrained and U.A.'s entrance exam wasn't that far away.
That night the dreams started.
Toshi was flying. A great crow with wings so wide he could block the sun for miles. Swooping low, the Taira clan had begun to wipe out their rivals, the Minamoto. The samurai had overrun the tiny mountain village. The young son witnessed the death of his father as he and his mother fled into the mountains.
Chaos such as this was common enough in the warring states.
“A good day for blood, isn't it, my king?”
Yataragasu, one of Sojobo's many retainers landed on the branches near where Toshinori was perched and observing the carnage. In a way it went against everything inside him to simply watch. But even if Yataragasu shared his disgust and helped him end the bloodshed, that would go directly against the base instincts of their kind. Demons and tengu loved carnage and their less powerful brothers would feast on the bones left buried in the rice fields.
“A shame it's so one-sided,” Toshinori said, words that weren't his as the same sense of disquiet and disdain simmered in his gut.
“True,” Yataragasu nodded his head knowingly, “After all it will be over too soon.”
Suddenly a cry sounded below, the youngest son had rushed back. Toshi had thought he'd seen the mother flee with her son, but somehow he'd found his father's sword and now he rushed back at the dark blood-stained samurai that had attacked them. Toshi could see his mother shrieking after him, agonized and worried as she followed after trying to drag him back.
He was small but strong and determined. Even from this distance Toshi felt it, how that bright youth's heart burned at the injustice. But he was still so young. Without power he could change nothing.
Yataragasu leaned forward eagerly as he anticipated the quick work the samurai would make the untrained youth. Toshi's heart hammered in alarm to match the boy's hurried steps and his mother's anxious cries.
As the samurai turned and raised their swords, Toshi raised one hand and directed his magic. Toshi had moved without even thinking about it. He just wanted to save the youth. Dark feathers shot like arrows and felled the samurai as the boy reached them with an ineffectual swing that struck off their plated armor.
His mother soon caught up to him, thanking the gods before dragging him back quickly. Both tearful and angry, the boy still clutching his father's sword. This time he went with his mother and they fled before the Taira's warriors could follow after them.
“Why?” Yataragasu asked puzzled.
It was because Toshi wanted to save him. Because the boy reminded him of himself. Because he despised the injustice and the blood shed by the villainous Taira. Because that boy was young and bright and his heart burned like a ray of hope for the future of the warring states. Instead Toshi answered. “Like you said, I don't want it to end too soon.”
“Ah,” Yataragasu grinned broadly, preening, “I see. That's just like you, Sojobo, great king of the tengu. You're always thinking of the future. We may even see a great war!”
There would be one. Maybe one was needed. But at some point the warring states must be unified. That boy needed training, but the heir to the Minamoto clan may yet be the one to do it.
When Toshinori awoke he could barely remember anything about his dream. But someone had called him Sojobo and there had been a promising youth that needed training. Izuku, of course. They were meeting on Degobah beach in about an hour.
Izuku was quickly proving to be everything Toshi had thought he was and more. Training on the beach was great. Though the kid never seemed to stop thinking and often over-thinking things. It was kind of adorable although perhaps once his body was ready to receive One For All the youth's confidence would build along with his muscle.
But all throughout Toshi couldn't help feeling like he was forgetting something important. Training Izuku to receive One For All was important and it was satisfying to see Izuku's progress. Things were going well, but there was a kind of restlessness to it too. Maybe Toshi was anxious to pass the torch. Surely all this nonsensical feeling would end once he passed on One For All.
Today was no different though. Encouraging Izuku along as he cleared the beach, piece by piece and lugging garbage across to the compactor and disposal unit. It was tough and grueling work to do consistently over summer break. Most young people Izuku's age would be spending their time having fun with their friends. Maybe Toshi's sense of disquiet came from taking so much of Izuku's time for training.
“Alright! Great job, my boy!” Toshi said brightly as Izuku finished loading the last bulk group of garbage to the compactor. “Let's take a short break and then finish up that row on the east end!”
“Yes, sounds good,” Izuku panted, sweating heavily as he sat back on the concrete rise and glanced out over the rest of the cluttered beach. There was still a lot to do, Toshi found it admirable that Izuku had barely complained the whole time. Izuku was also starting to show some muscle definition along his arms and calves, clearly visible wearing his t-shirt and shorts.
When Izuku lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat on his face and neck, Toshi could also see the development of his core and torso. Izuku wasn't unattractive before but his scrawny frame was beginning to tighten into firm ripples over a strong set of abdominals.
Toshi probably shouldn't have been ogling his protege like that. But it wasn't really ogling, it was purely professional and assessing his muscles. That was all it was. Toshi retrieved a pair of water bottles from the cooler he brought and swiftly handed one to Izuku.
“Hydration is important too, Midoriya, my boy!” Toshi reminded him as Izuku blinked and accepted the water with bright eyes, too awed and grateful for the simple gesture. Plenty of people looked at Toshi like a hero, but Izuku looked at him like he was a demon god, the tengu king.
“Thank you, All Might.” Izuku smiled at him and Toshi nearly shuddered as his thoughts and heart seemed to splinter a little in the vague contact of their too warm fingers over the cool plastic water bottle.
Thank you, Sojobo.
“Toshinori,” Toshi said before he'd thought about it. Izuku blinked up at him confused for a moment. But Toshinori meant to say it and he realized with a crawling flush that he wanted Izuku to know his name. To call him by it. Always calling him by his hero name seemed impersonal somehow.
“Huh?” Izuku still seemed confused. Toshinori was absurdly grateful that the sun at his back probably hid the redness of his face as he coughed and straightened, grin snapping back in place.
“My name,” Toshinori explained, still grinning though he shifted slightly, suddenly uncomfortable with how much Izuku was staring at him. Maybe it was too much. “It's just... I felt you should know.” Toshi shrugged, still feeling like he was forgetting something monumentally important.
“Toshi... nori...” Izuku seemed to just be testing the name, but a hot bolt of sensation shivered through him and Toshi did shudder that time. Heat and something half-remembered spooled like honey in his insides. It didn't make sense. Izuku was still staring at him.
“Just 'Toshi' is fine,” Toshi said, grateful when Izuku looked down to uncap the water bottle and took a long drink. The muscle of his neck moved when he did and Toshi purposely glanced away. There was something wrong. But surely this would all go away when he passed on his power.
“Izuku, then,” the youth effortlessly returned the gesture. There was a kind of intimacy in referring to each other so casually, but as his heir that should be fine and normal. Toshi smiled as he agreed.
The pull remained. The feeling that Toshi was forgetting something and that it had something to do with Izuku. But he was certain it would fade.
Eventually the beach was clear. The U.A. entrance exam was soon to be underway. Toshi passed on the power of All For One to Izuku.
He felt the transfer without issue. The embers of his power were smaller than before, fading like that feeling of restless disquiet. For a moment Toshi was relieved.
But it still felt like he was forgetting something. It was important. Something to do with Izuku, the boy he meant to train, the boy who needed to usher in a brighter future than Toshi could.
That bright youth that he would train into a future leader and a symbol to unify everyone.
“What's wrong?” Izuku asked suddenly, drawing Toshi out of his thoughts as he suddenly realized his thoughts must have shown on his face too clearly.
“Ah, nothing! I was--” wrong. “I forget if I left the stove on in my apartment this morning. I better go and check on it at some point.” Toshi coughed, he was notoriously bad at lying but he'd done his best. “Nothing for you to worry about! I have every faith that you will do great in the exam and earn your place in U.A.'s hero course!” Izuku looked skeptically at him, but worse was that the youth looked vaguely hurt, though he seemed to accept Toshi's explanation.
Toshi thought that feeling would fade when he passed on his power, his quirk. He saw Izuku off to the exams with a smile and hoped it didn't look as forced as it felt. But something was still wrong. He was forgetting something. Maybe he'd remember eventually. At least he'd be joining Izuku at U.A. since he'd accepted a teaching position. But it still bothered him.
He still felt drawn to Izuku, to a strange degree. He expected it to fade and it hadn't. Clearly, this wasn't enough.
The dreams hadn't stopped either.
Toshinori watched as Izuku trekked up the mountain. It had barely been a week since the Minamoto heir had seen his father slain. There was a kind of grit and determination to every step he took up the craggy mountain path that led to the tengu temple at the peak of Mount Kurama.
The youth's yukata was dirty, he and his mother had been hiding in the woods for some time. It still wasn't safe in many of the mountain villages with the Taira in control and hunting the rest of the Minamoto clan that fled in the attack.
Toshinori watched with a kind of restlessness as the youth climbed. When he reached the temple, the grounds were vast and empty. Toshinori watched him as Izuku found the altar to the demon god, the tengu king and knelt before it.
He was praying and Toshinori felt the sorrow and anger in his heart, but he also felt the sense of justice that tempered and transformed his rage and desire for revenge. Toshinori's great wings melted away as he lighted silently on the tiled stones behind Izuku.
His approach had been soundless but Izuku whirled when Toshinori had barely moved a few steps. The human had excellent instincts. He would make a fitting protege, Toshinori's instincts had not been wrong.
The youth stared and looked confused at Toshi though. The tengu had appeared to him as a harmless old man after all. “Are you in need of assistance?” Toshi asked, using an affect and dialect to match the wizened human he appeared as.
“I heard this was the place to go for training,” Izuku said, his confusion replaced by determination. “My name is Ushiwakamaru. I've heard I can get the best sword training here at the tengu's temple.”
So he had taken another name while he and his mother were in hiding. The Minamoto clan was clever. They would certainly survive as long as they could. But tengu were mischievous by nature and even Toshi couldn't resist having a bit of fun with the bright youth.
“That's not your name.”
Izuku startled and stared before his eyes seemed to narrow in understanding. Perhaps Toshi had tipped his hand too soon, but if he trained this youth they must know each other honestly.
“No. My real name is Minamoto no Yoshitsune,” The youth declared, jaw set and unabashed. “I've come seeking training so that I may avenge my father's death.”
Something was strange though. It had to be a dream because Toshi already knew this boy, he did train him. His name was Izuku.
“And who is the man you wish to kill?” Toshi asked, as if every fiber of him wasn't revolted at the idea of lethal force.
Izuku hesitated, but it wasn't his conviction that was tested, merely his desire for vengeance. His voice was choked with the rage he held in check when he answered. “The leader of the Taira clan.”
Toshi smiled and Izuku's fire seemed to stoke the embers still burning in his core. “I see,” he said with a calm he didn't feel. “If you unite with your allies and lead the Minamoto clan against the Taira, you will start a war.”
Equal parts excitement and revulsion made Toshinori's gut clench uncomfortably. Izuku's face twisted slightly, torn. “I know. I'm not trying to start a war, but I will avenge my father!” Izuku pressed on, insistent despite obvious human misgivings. “The Taira brought this war on themselves! I didn't start this! But I will finish it!”
The tengu king's demonic heart shivered and shook. The human was torn between his need for revenge and the sense of justice that still demanded the Taira not be left to run rampant. It felt like an echo of the schism in Toshinori as well. His demon half wanted the war, but his mind and his heart wished desperately for a brighter future.
He was still convinced this youth was all he hoped he would be, if not more.
“I will gladly teach you the art of war, my boy.” Toshi said, a dark laugh escaped him as his body shifted. Every part of him was suddenly alive as the human skin melted away. Toshinori's great black wings spread out behind him and the gaunt shape of the tengu king stared down at Izuku, the young Minamoto heir.
Izuku stared and blinked up at him in confusion. He may have suspected the old man was more than he appeared, but he may not have expected the tengu king himself. That said, Izuku's fear was short-lived as awe quickly replaced it. More and more, this bright youth was exceeding Toshinori's expectations.
“A tengu...” Izuku breathed, his eyes wide but unafraid as his eyes locked with Toshinori's. “No wonder you keep mentioning war...”
Tengu were harbingers of war and like most demons they thrived in chaos.
Toshinori smiled softly, because Izuku wasn't entirely wrong. It was what Toshinori had told Yataragasu as well, and what he would say to anyone who asked.
“I am Sojobo. King of the tengu and I will train you.” Toshinori offered his hand to Izuku. “I offer you my power.”
Izuku didn't think twice before he took Toshi's hand.
When Toshinori woke he remembered a little more from the dream this time.
It felt like history repeating itself. He'd already trained Izuku, he'd given him power, he'd helped him shake the world and build it into something better.
No. That was just the future he hoped for. He was still forgetting something.
He'd called himself Sojobo, but that wasn't his name. He hadn't trained Izuku on Mount Kurama, they'd trained at Degobah Beach. Dreams were strange things.
Toshi shook his head to clear it. He was over-thinking this. It was just a dream. Maybe Izuku was rubbing off on him.
His morning routine didn't change and Toshi put the dream out of his mind. Seeing Izuku again in class was a strange experience. Half excitement and half restless disquiet as that pull, the magnetic draw he felt to Izuku, had seemed to intensify.
It was a constant ache now, a more pervasive pain than the vague twinge from the scar along his torso.
The training exercise with Izuku and his childhood friend went well. Better than expected even.
His training had paid off immensely. Izuku improved in leaps and bounds with the sword, he even took to the limited magic Toshi tried to teach him.
Izuku had broken his bones during the entrance exam, but already it seemed he could channel it better, as if by instinct. His movements had been all fluid grace. Izuku moved so fast, it was like he had wings. He was using One For All. But the sword cut seamlessly through the concrete pillars of the training building.
Uraraka and Izuku's team won. Both of them won their fights respectively. Izuku's actions had even helped influence movement on the upper floor so the team won. The building was compromised, they remodeled and stabilized everything before the next team had their turn. It should have been a great success for Izuku.
Toshi wanted to feel nothing but pride. But something was wrong.
It was like the dreams and reality had begun to overlap. Izuku had been surprised too, uneasy even. It made Toshi even more uncertain. He was forgetting something, if he remembered it then could he fix this?
“You managed to use One For All without any problems today,” Toshi injected as much of his pride into those words as he could. He was proud of Izuku, his progress with his new quirk was remarkable. But he was still worried.
“Yeah,” Izuku agreed, somehow sounding just as cagey as Toshi felt.
In a way Toshi just wanted to ask outright: Did I ever train you on a mountain? Did we do swordsmanship? But then the questions became uncomfortable. Did I have wings? Was I a tengu? Do you remember me as a demon?
He didn't want to ask. He didn't want to know the answers. They were just dreams.
Because Toshinori was nothing like Sojobo and he didn't want to be. Sojobo was a demon that reveled in war, chaos, and bloodshed. Even if he was partially torn between his nature and some lofty dream he had for the future of the warring states, Toshinori couldn't see it as himself. He wasn't a demon. He was human and he always had been.
They were only dreams. Izuku and One For All, his quirk, his education and their bright future, that was all real. That was what Toshi chose to focus on.
“What was different?”
Izuku hesitated and Toshi waited patiently. “It was like...” Izuku began haltingly, “The power was familiar somehow? And then my body, it just, I've never moved like that before and I didn't choose to do it but it...” It was the result of your training. Your swordsmanship now has the speed of a tengu. You should be happy, my boy. “I dunno...” Izuku shook his head and looked away. He looked lost and Toshi's heart constricted painfully.
He wanted to reach out, hold him, or offer some kind of comfort. In the end he placed a solid hand on Izuku's shoulder. Something of that pain in his chest seemed to loosen and even Izuku's breathing seemed to ease a little, as if he felt the same way.
Toshi's grip tightened a little, solidarity and understanding. Whatever this was, Izuku wasn't alone and Toshi would be there for him. He wanted to say it, but couldn't quite make the words. It seemed like Izuku understood him anyway.
Despite Toshinori's uncertainty at the situation, and the restless certainty that he was forgetting something incredibly important, Izuku's progress at U.A. had been going very well. The dreams hadn't stopped, but there wasn't anything too terribly alarming. Nothing terrible had happened after all.
He was looking forward to today as well. Today, Izuku and the rest of 1-A were going to the USJ for rescue training. It would be a great chance to show them how quirks should be used to help and aid others. It was important to understand the basis of hero work that was not to cause harm or even fight villains, but rather the most basic act of helping people, rescuing them wherever possible and ensuring everyone could live their lives peacefully.
Right on schedule to join Aizawa and Thirteen at the USJ with the students, Toshinori had finished his morning routine and was headed to U.A.
But his commute was littered with villains causing various troubles around town. Then there was some news about a hostage situation one town over. There were still thirty minutes on the clock so really he should have had plenty of time.
By the time Toshi reached U.A. his power was exhausted.
With a coughing spurt of blood he was forced to take an extended sit down in the staff break room. Getting old was difficult. His waning power was also difficult. He hadn't expected it to drop off as much as it had.
In his dreams, the tengu king Sojobo was a force to be reckoned with. Toshi however was not adapting too well to his waning quirk. His power was fading and the world and it's villainous problems hadn't diminished.
He'd already texted Aizawa to let him know he'd be late and apologized profusely. The man had only sent back a single word reply that he acknowledged it. After a few minutes and the blood cleared from his throat, Toshi decided to text Izuku separately to let him know that he'd be late.
Most of the time Izuku replied within a few minutes of a text message from Toshi. It was adorable really and he didn't need to respond so quickly all the time. But that was the pattern. When Izuku didn't respond after the next ten minutes, Toshi began to get a bit concerned.
The battlefield was already washed in red. Izuku, the Minamoto heir, stood out as a beacon and a call to arms. The Minamoto and Taira were finally coming to a head.
“Isn't it everything you've ever wanted?!” Yataragasu cackled in glee, perched next to Toshi as they surveyed the bloody field and the fighting.
It wasn't a demon's place to interfere directly within the human's war. This was for the tengu's entertainment, it was theirs to observe and enjoy. The demons had no place in picking sides or showing favors to humans beyond what they could justify in their natures.
“You taught him well,” Yataragasu crowed happily, watching with unbridled amusement as Izuku effortlessly and efficiently cut down all who attacked him as he made his way toward his father's killer. “Yes, this is what our power is meant for.”
Death and destruction, the way of the tengu. This was the war they hoped for. This was the vengeance Izuku sought. But that wasn't what he was doing. Yataragasu couldn't see it yet. But Izuku's blows weren't lethal. Minamoto no Yoshitsune fought Benkei and won, but when he did he didn't take the man's life, instead Benkei had sword himself to Yoshitsune's service.
In the end, Izuku offered his hand to the enemy. The tengu king could appreciate the sheer force of will and the choked rage that Izuku must have felt in order to make that gesture. But Izuku had done what Toshi had hoped. The clans could unite this way. If the Taira lord accepted that hand it could end here and be called justice.
Toshinori jolted upright, alarm and sudden anxiety struck through him like a lightning strike. Something he was forgetting and something terribly wrong. Izuku still hadn't responded to his text. Highly unusual.
He'd rested enough. Toshi hurried toward the USJ, the embers of One For All surging to the fore in echo of his dread and certainty that not all was right in the world. He encountered Iida less than halfway there and he knew. Even before Iida explained the situation, All Might was flying to the USJ building. He smashed through the doors without preamble to face the horror within.
It was horrifying.
The inhuman noumu that Iida had described had Izuku pinned down. It looked like he'd tried to fight the creature. There was blood on the youth's face and his arms were pinned down, dark and bruised, bones strained and nearly cracking.
Toshi wasn't smiling. The demonic tengu king may have had the power of destruction but this power was also meant to protect. All thought fled Toshi's mind except the thought he had to save Izuku.
In a flash, Toshinori struck the noumu with a snarl. The impact stripped the thing from Izuku and forced it's great body back from the students. Toshi had moved without thinking. It felt like instinct. It felt like Sojobo.
He heard Izuku gasp, from pain or shock it didn't matter and Toshi moved protectively in front of him. “The noumu, it—it took my punches like it was nothing!” Izuku warned him quickly.
One of the villains, a young man with hands attached to his body was yelling at the creature to attack. So he was behind this? Rage flowed unchecked in Toshi's blood, as the hulking creature snapped back and lunged for him, Toshi even felt like a demon as he launched himself at the thing.
This thing, these villains, they hurt Izuku. They were despicable.
“It won't touch you again.” Toshi growled, possessive and furious. Something ferocious pumping iron and fire through his insides.
The Taira lord was despicable. Izuku displayed strength and unfathomably honor but the villain struck him with his short sword even after the Minamoto heir had disarmed him of his katana.
Toshi's teeth grit together and, as the noumu charged, Toshi struck back with animalistic ferocity, pummeling the creature into submission.
He expended power beyond his limits, pushing further and tasting blood. It pooled like iron in his mouth and fueled the fire that burned in his bones. One For All seemed to burn hotter with him and his rage. They hurt Izuku. They would not get away with it!
It didn't matter that his power was waning. It didn't matter that his body was beginning to show smoke as his energy and quirk strained to give him what he needed. Izuku's safety was on the line.
The attack came from behind. The Minamoto heir wouldn't have time to dodge it. Toshinori lunged and dropped from the sky.
Toshi could even give his life if it meant saving Izuku.
He had to save him. He got in the way. The Taira's spear pierced Toshinori. Izuku was spared. The weapon was holy steel. The demon king's heart was pierced. He fell.
“Sojobo! No!!”
Izuku's arms caught him. When had the bright youth become a man? When did his arms become so strong? Toshi couldn't help turning into the human's chest, nuzzling slightly into his heat and the familiar scent. Even beneath the dirt and blood and Izuku's anxious cries, Toshi felt at peace being this close to the human.
“No, no! Sojobo!!” Izuku was crying. He shouldn't cry for him. The spear lodged through the tengu's chest, his heart ripped into pieces. But Izuku was safe. That was all that mattered. “Why?!”
He couldn't answer him. He never intended to tell Izuku about it. He cared too much to say it out loud. The tengu king wished he had been born human.
“I wanted to share a life with you.” he told him. Obfuscating and evading.
“I wanted that too!” Izuku returned, crying and shaking even as he clutched Toshi tighter in his arms. “So why would you--?!”
It was absurd. He never would have told him. But he was dying and surely there was no harm in it anymore. “Because I love you.”
Somehow it was shocking to realize that fact in that moment.
Toshinori was willing to die for Izuku. He loved him. He'd almost forgotten. He had died protecting him once before.
He blasted the noumu away with a final smash. The creature's skin burst apart, no longer healing over, and it's bones finally cracked and broke as it's hulking frame seemed to deflate. Thrown skyward like a ragdoll.
The noumu was defeated. But the fight wasn't over. Those villains still stood. Toshi tasted blood in his mouth but he still felt feral and half-mad with rage as he turned his glare on the villains responsible. They did this. They hurt Izuku.
Toshi's body was steaming slightly, hidden in the dust and settling debris from when he'd blown the noumu away. He didn't have any strength left. As much as his heart still fought to stay standing, to defend Izuku, he didn't have the power to back it up anymore.
All Might was not Sojobo. The tengu king got his wish. He was only human. For all the power he had, the embers of One For All, the number one hero, and despite it all he was only human.
“You're the worst kind of hero!” the villain, identified as Shigaraki, seethed at him. “All that power, all that strength, it's only purpose is to destroy! To destroy those you label as villains!”
All Might's glare didn't falter, not one twitch. Toshi remembered now. The tengu king had power meant for war and destruction. He was a demon. But he had dreamed of peace and a brighter future. Toshinori was human, his power was meant to protect. They were villains because they chose to use their power to hurt.
It could have hit too close to home. It echoed another accusation from his dreams. But this did not shake him.
In the end the villains retreated. If Toshi'd had the power he'd have gone after them. Instead the bluff worked.
Then when his strength gave out. Disaster nearly struck again as one of the students tried to approach, attempting to be helpful. Izuku leapt into action and drew attention away from All Might before Toshinori's body shifted back to his usual sickly husk.
“You saved me again, my boy. Thank you,” Toshi said, too much affection bleeding into those words as he thanked him again for helping him keep his secrets.
“N-no problem, I mean, y-you saved me first,” Izuku said, staring a little too much again. Was he worried Toshi was hurt worse than he let on? Recovery Girl would arrive soon. They'd probably both end up in the infirmary after this.
“What is it?” he asked, suddenly remembering that he hadn't exactly been overly 'heroic' when he faced the noumu. He hoped he hadn't scared Izuku.
“It... your back... when you rushed in like that...” Izuku flushed, evidently embarrassed, “I was just thinking... It looked like you had wings...”
Suddenly Izuku's uncertainty and uneasiness made more sense. Was this related to the dreams? Or was this something else? Something of Sojobo bleeding over into Toshinori? Something more than the feral rage that drove him to plumb the depths of One For All's power?
Maybe he was overthinking this again. “I... I'm flattered.” Toshi almost wanted to tell Izuku it looked like he could fly sometimes too. Or that one day he would.
Toshinori had been right. When Recovery Girl arrived both Izuku and Toshi were taken to the infirmary to recover.
Izuku's last statement had almost seemed like a test somehow. He still seemed uneasy and that hadn't dissipated. Even alone in their hospital style beds now, it seemed like there were things Izuku still wanted to ask. As much as Toshi dreaded it, he wanted to help Izuku and set him at ease if he could.
He loved the boy and somehow that was a more dreadful realization than the fact that Toshi had some kind of kinship with an ancient demon tengu.
“What's wrong?” he finally asked, unable to take Izuku's fitful silence.
Startled, Izuku turned toward him with a slightly pained expression on his face. “Nothing. Just thinking.”
“About what?” Toshi prodded.
Again Izuku seemed to hesitate, evasive. His teeth latched onto his lower lip as he seemed to think about how to phrase his question. Toshi was inappropriately aware of how red Izuku's lips were getting as his teeth worried the soft flesh.
“I was thinking about what that Shigaraki guy said, about your power, our power being destructive.” Izuku mumbled, cheeks pink with embarrassment. Toshi just smiled encouragingly and waited patiently for Izuku to continue. “One For All, it, well, it destroys my body if I use too much of it and that kind of power can destroy a lot. I guess that strength could be used to help build things, but it just wouldn't be as effective to use it like that...”
“You're not wrong,” Toshi told him gently. “Not entirely.” Somehow it felt like they had a similar conversation once before. But that was probably Sojobo.
“It's not really war that you want though, is it?” Izuku asked him softly, insightful and sharp as always. Toshi stiffened and then shrugged, trying to play it off.
“Of course it is,” It was an easy lie, one that the tengu king had told anyone who asked, including the Minamoto heir time and again. War would be the ultimate result, even if that wasn't the ultimate goal he hoped to achieve in training the youth.
“You want peace in Japan, more than anything,” Izuku pressed, insistent in the way his bright eyes were clear and unclouded when he looked at Toshi. “Don't you.” It wasn't a question anymore.
“I'm a tengu, I'm a harbinger of war.” he told him in lieu of an actual answer. “I taught you the art of war so you can wage one.”
“You trained me to be a warrior,” Izuku agreed, “My strength and speed goes beyond the bounds of most mortals. You didn't have to teach me to be the best. You could have only taught me a fraction of what you have if was was all you wanted.” The human had seen through the demon's heart as well. When had that happened? “You gave me power so that I might unite the clans and end our warring state once and for all.”
Toshi was silent for a long time. “That's a bold claim.”
“It's a bold plan,” Izuku returned, his certainty unwavering and fearless.
In the present Toshi tried to explain it clearly.
“One For All, any power really, can be used to destroy or to build depending on how it’s used. But I think there’s a facet to what we perceive as destruction that we forget about.” Toshi explained carefully. “I used my power to become a symbol of peace. Look at my actions. As a hero I use force and brute strength. But what does that accomplish? How does that affect the villains I face?”
Izuku seemed to think carefully about it. Again, that cute red lip caught between pearly teeth. “You’re so powerful, such a force of destruction that you basically arrest any villain’s hope of doing anything.” Izuku said after barely a moment. “Ever since All Might became the symbol of peace the crime rate dropped significantly. It stays impossibly low whenever and wherever people remain cognizant of All Might...”
Toshi nodded. “I use my power, my physical power anyway, to apprehend villains and, yes, even to destroy things. But in the end the result is…”
“That strength brings peace.” Izuku finished, he seemed to visibly relax, some of the tension in him fled. Toshi gave Izuku a thumbs up and smiled. Izuku grinned back and Toshi's chest ached with affection and feeling. That pull hadn't diminished at all, but he understood it better now.
He also knew he had to ignore it. Toshi loved Izuku. He knew that now. But it wasn't appropriate and Toshi was well used to ignoring and foregoing the things he wanted. Wanting Izuku wasn't an option. He would stick to what he'd already decided. He would watch over Izuku, his training, his happiness, and he would never interfere with that.
Sojobo had the same policy. Demons weren't allowed to interfere with humans too much.
It was amazing how much had changed and how much had stayed absolutely the same.
Sunset on Mount Kurama found the tengu king deep in though. Izuku had sussed out the true heart of the tengu that trained him. More effectively than Toshi could have foreseen. Even Yataragasu, one of the tengu's oldest retainers, hadn't guessed his true purpose in training the Minamoto heir.
Izuku was tired and appeared to sleep early after training since early morning. Toshi swooped down, the giant monstrous crow shifting into his usual tengu form as he settled down near Izuku. The youth kept sleeping, face relaxed and peaceful. They were safe here on Mount Kurama.
But the training was at its end. The youth was ready to raise his allies and face his father's killer. He still seemed so young for it. But then, compared to demons, all humans were impossibly young. Even Izuku's skin was so soft and smooth. For all his training and strength now, his skin was soft and pale.
Toshi smoothed back his dark hair fondly, fingers tracing his skin slightly, admiring the human. At some point his thumb caught along the edge of his lip. Somehow it was even softer than the rest, plush and pink. Izuku's lips parted then and a soft moan slipped out as the human stirred awake.
Quickly moving away, Toshi gathered himself and discarded any inappropriate thoughts about the human. Izuku sat up, seeming less sleepy than he should have been. “Sojobo?”
“Yes?” Toshi nearly squawked before he cleared his throat for a more adequate response. “You're prepared for tomorrow?”
“You're thinking about tomorrow?” Izuku asked, huffing slightly as he shifted closer, closing the distance that Toshi had opened between them. The human rested his head heavily on Toshi's shoulder, a warm welcome weight that nudged a bit too close to Toshi's neck. It almost made him shiver as Izuku's warm breath gusted over his nape.
It might have been flirtatious if the human wasn't simply sleepy and disoriented.
“I've contacted the Minamoto's allies,” Izuku said, “Thanks to your help I even defeated Benkei. He'll be a great asset in the fight with the Taira too. We'll face them tomorrow. But, you know...” Izuku shifted impossibly closer and Toshi turned to look at him as the youth pressed to his back and shoulder, arms half-around Toshi's shoulders as their faces were brought close.
Despite his sleep-addled actions, Izuku's eyes were clear and bright, cheeks flushed only slightly but he didn't smell like alcohol. “What is it?”
“If I can make him submit,” Izuku said, their foreheads pressed together, breath mixing as if Izuku was daring something with the demon. “The Taira lord, if he does, I don't have to destroy the entire clan.”
“You'd be the bigger man?” It was astonishing and more than the Taira deserved after what they did to the Minamoto clan.
“With a great show of strength we can discourage further aggression,” Izuku said, mouth so close that if Toshi tipped his head even a little their mouths might slot together. “It could end things quickly. The war would be short. Lives would be saved. We'd be unified and put an end to everything.”
“You think you can accomplish that?” It was bold and it was daring, not unlike how close Izuku was to Toshi right now.
“That's why you gave me this power,” Izuku said softly, eyes drooping slightly shut, perhaps more tired than he'd let on. It was too daring and worse it could end in catastrophe. Toshi said nothing for so long that Izuku eventually appeared concerned. “Sojobo?”
“It won't work.” Toshi said at last. “Even with the power I gave you, war can be prevented but only for a short time.”
“Then help me,” Izuku insisted, hands somehow clasped together, a stolen warmth that the demon knew he had no right to. “Be my partner.” When Toshi gaped stupidly, the human pressed forward again, “Stand by my side,” Izuku was more warm and melting than the fading sun as the orange color turned molten and slipped from the mountains. “Please.”
“Demons can only interact with humans so far,” Toshi said, trying to explain where the lines were drawn. “To interfere so directly goes against the gods.”
“You trained me,” Izuku scowled, “Isn't that interfering?”
“Training is one thing,” Toshi explained, “Fighting for you,” loving you, “Is something else.”
“Then don't fight for me,” Izuku said, grip tightening slightly as their mouths nudged closer. “I can fight for myself. You made sure of that. Just come with me. Stay with me. Advise me.”
It physically hurt to pull away, but he had to do it.
“You will always have me...” Toshi said, vague and drawing back as Izuku's teeth set in a grimace. “So show me what you humans will choose, war or unification.”
Izuku did show him.
The war with the Taira was bloody and short.
But the Taira lord didn't accept that truce from the Minamoto heir.
Toshi couldn't let Izuku die. Izuku cried for him and as consciousness slipped away Toshi thought he was happy. If there was any regret it was that he didn't steal a kiss while Izuku had been sleepily fawning over him.
Izuku shouldn't cry. He was alive. He should be happy. Toshi was happy. Even dying in Izuku's arms, he finally told him the truth too.
“I love you...”
Toshi woke in a cold sweat. His mind railed against the last of it, rejecting it. He vomited blood, hacking and coughing until his lungs burned and shuddering he finally got his breathing back under control. First wheezing and then slowly calming before swallowing back the blood and bile as his stomach clenched and roiled.
He was still alive.
He didn't want to die. He didn't want Izuku to die either.
Toshi wanted to live.
He wanted to live, together, with Izuku... and he stopped that thought there before it got any farther, before it could become something dangerous.
The dreams were repeating. They were more detailed and often more intense. Ever since he remembered and since he recalled that important detail, that he loved Izuku, Toshi thought the dreams might stop. They hadn't.
“Past lives” was what they were called. Memories of another lifetime together. Some older legends said if people visited pivotal places from their past lives that they would “awaken” and become fully aware of their past selves. Toshi wasn't sure if that would help or if that would make Sojobo stronger somehow. The only “pivotal place” he could think of was Mount Kurama and the tengu temple.
In a way he was afraid of what it might mean or what he might learn. Sojobo was so different from who Toshi was, a human and a hero. The tengu king was honestly somewhat terrifying, even in his tragic ending. The biggest problem was how much this affected Toshi around Izuku.
It was too early in the morning. He wanted to call Izuku, just to hear his voice, or maybe text and know that he was okay. But Izuku was probably still asleep. The last vestiges of the dream, the nightmare, still clung like cobwebs to Toshi's waking moments.
He hadn't died. He fought and defended Izuku and the students at USJ but he was very much alive, they all were. Everything was fine. His hands were still shaking as he set about preparing coffee, still assuring himself everything was fine.
Then his phone rang. Izuku was calling him. Simultaneously his heart leapt with joy and clenched with bitter sweetness as he choked that feeling back with restraint and propriety.
“Izuku?” he answered the phone and heard the boy's uneasy breathing on the other end. Had he had a nightmare too?
“Are you... okay?” Izuku's voice whispered across the line. Again Toshi's heart ached, throbbing in some kind of echo with Izuku's rough unsteady question.
“I...” Toshi meant to say he was fine, he meant to be reassuring. He couldn't get the words out. “I think I had a nightmare...” He hadn't meant to say that.
“Me too.” Izuku said gently. For a moment the silence wasn't strained, just quiet and tentative, neither sure which would press forward but neither willing to run or avoid this tenuous connection. “Do you think it has to do with your quirk? One For All?”
Unlikely. “I don't know.” Toshi admitted. “Maybe.”
“What did you see?” Izuku asked, “In your nightmare, I mean.”
Toshi took a sharp breath, hesitant to respond. “I don't remember.” It wasn't a complete lie. After waking and calming down, so much of the details of the dreams tended to get fuzzy and immaterial. All that remained were the bare bones of it. Yoshitsune and Sojobo, and how much Toshi loved Izuku.
“I saw you die.”
The heart dropped out of him. It felt like when Yoshitsune called out the core of Sojobo's true goal in training him to face the Taira lord. Toshi's mind reeled from that one admission but Izuku was still talking, haltingly and uneasy, his emotions working up into a frenzy as he went, trying to explain it.
“I don't remember a lot of the details, but I—I remember your face when--!”
“Breathe, Izuku!” Toshi told him firmly, forcing his voice to be calm as his heart hammered with anxiety. He wished he was there with them. To just steady Izuku, hold his shoulder, let him know he wasn't alone and that it would be alright. “Breathe!”
Slowly Izuku seemed to calm down. Toshi gripped the phone so hard he heard the plastic creak, and he cupped it more gently to his ear, as if he could impact that compassion to Izuku through the tiny device.
“Can I see you?” Izuku asked suddenly, sound too soft and fragile it made fractures in Toshi's bruised beating heart. “Please.”
He really should have refused. Come up with an excuse. It wasn't appropriate. The way he felt was wrong. But he would never hurt Izuku like that. Never, not in a million years, not in any lifetime for any reason.
Toshi would never allow anything to harm Izuku, even himself and right now Izuku wanted to see him. He asked Toshi, as if the distance physically hurt him. “Okay.” Toshi agreed.
They met at Degobah Beach.
It was empty at early morning, not a single street vendor or pedestrian out and about in the early pre-dawn morning. Toshi arrived first, happy to wait and listening intently for his successor. Izuku was jogging, nearly running, to reach him faster.
Izuku got closer and didn't stop running. His face was red, probably from the exertion, and he bounded forward into Toshi, throwing his arms around Toshi's neck. Unbidden, Toshi's arms wrapped back around Izuku as well, both of them apparently content to hold each other, bodily close, the warmth and weight a welcome reminder that they were both here. They were both alive and well in the present.
Toshi felt Izuku's breath against his neck and nape, a ghostly and familiar sensation despite the fact he and Izuku hadn't been this close before. “Sorry,” Izuku mumbled, lips soft and hot against Toshi's skin. Neither of them seemed to want to let go just yet and Toshi made his peace with it.
“It's okay,” Toshi chuckled, meaning it completely as his hands stroked Izuku's back, comforting and somehow contented just by having Izuku this close. As if the pull had finally eased with their proximity.
Slowly, and after several minutes had passed, Izuku pulled back slightly. Toshi was ready to set him back on the sand of the beach, but Izuku still grasped him close, arms around him, foreheads pressed together. He was probably still sleepy, but his eyes were strangely clear.
Toshi swallowed thickly, suddenly aware of how close their mouths were. He could taste Izuku's breath like this and Izuku wasn't moving away, still clinging closely. Toshi wasn't sure if Izuku leaned forward or if he did.
Suddenly their lips were touching. It was a mistake. A simple beautiful mistake.
Izuku's mouth was hot, lips softer than he thought they'd be, sliding together and pressing softly against each other. It was summer and clouds, sunlight and warmth, easing an anguish he didn't even know he had. Toshi's heart leapt and then abruptly plumetted, torn between joy and sudden shameful guilt.
He pulled away, flushing hotly, and setting Izuku back on the sand as a grimace stole his flushed expression. “What are you doing?!” Toshi asked, feeling even worse the moment he said it. What was he doing blaming Izuku? This was his fault. He should have... this was a bad idea. He shouldn't have come here. He had to fix this. He never meant to hurt Izuku, he never wanted that.
But Izuku's stricken expression made Toshi feel guiltier than anything he could have done himself.
“I just—I feel this pull!” Izuku told him desperately. The poor boy already blaming himself as Toshi's mind scrambled for how he could fix this abyss he'd dug for himself. “Like we're meant to—to be beside each other? Or like we're meant to be--!”
“No!” Toshi snapped, his pained voice too shrill to be firm or assuring or commanding. He was too close to this. It was a mistake. Maybe all of it. He wish he'd never realized how much he loved Izuku. He wished it didn't hurt like this. It was wrong, he was supposed to protect him. “It's not—don't--!” He didn't even have words for what he wanted to plead with Izuku.
Toshi couldn't even look him in the eye. Shame and want mixed inexorably and it sickened him how much more desire seemed to win out over the obvious and insurmountable barriers in this situation. It was wrong. It was all wrong. It always had been.
Demons couldn't be with humans like that. Two men was... Brothers couldn't do that. Adults couldn't be with children.
It was wrong.
“So... it's just me that feels this way...?”
Izuku sounded on the verge of tears. He sounded broken. Toshi looked up startled, hesitant and torn. For a moment he wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him, how much he'd always loved him, and he wanted to explain that it was because he cared so much that he couldn't do this to Izuku...
It was like on the rooftop when they first met.
This time it was a lie instead of the truth. But a little pain now would mean less pain later, right?
In the end Toshi couldn't answer him. But he nodded. He still couldn't look Izuku in the eyes.
“Sojobo.”
“What?” Toshi answered, finally lifting his eyes. Izuku's eyes were wide and his breath caught, suddenly his eyes narrowed and Toshi's mind caught up again. Izuku hadn't called him Toshi. Izuku called him Sojobo.
It felt like all the blood could drain from his body. Toshi's heart seemed to pulse in short pained palpitations. He wanted to run. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg forgiveness and mercy.
Yoshitsune. Toshi wanted to echo, but he couldn't make his voice work. Maybe this was another nightmare. He could hope for that, right?
“Will you come with me to Mount Kurama?” Izuku asked. Toshi's jaw nearly dropped, but really it made perfect sense. Izuku had probably been going through the same things Toshi had. But how did Izuku feel about all this? How had Yoshitsune really taken Sojobo's confession before he died? He'd never gotten that answer.
“Alright,” Toshi agreed, nodding numbly. Afraid to ask.
They had to wait until the following weekend. Then Toshi picked up Izuku and they drove in silence to Mount Kurama.
It took several hours to get there. The whole time Toshi was strangely calm. In a way he was still petrified. Maybe when they visited Mount Kurama they'd “awaken” and their past lives would be put to rest, behind them. It would mean they could move on in the present if that was the case.
Would Toshi still love Izuku afterwards? How did Izuku really feel about Toshi?
Even when the dreams cycled through and Toshi, Sojobo, died over and over again in Izuku's, Yoshitsune's, arms, it never felt complete. When the story restarted years and years later, they were brothers, it ended so similarly. Their story wasn't really over.
Sojobo managed to tell Yoshitsune how he felt. But how did Yoshitsune feel about the tengu king that trained him?
Somehow it seemed likely that while Yoshitsune admired Sojobo, the tengu's feelings hadn't been returned. Perhaps dying and never getting an answer was the best outcome. Toshi thought nothing seemed more painful than unrequited love.
“Did it start with dreams?” Toshi asked finally. Barely able to croak the question out. Izuku was quiet so long, Toshi was certain he was going to ignore him for all the hours it would take to reach Mount Kurama.
“No,” Izuku shook his head. “It started with the pull. I felt drawn to you.”
That was another worry. How much of this 'attraction' was just a by product of this 'past life' business? In a way it was like a compulsion. As much as Toshi cared about Izuku... no. He might not have realized it this early, but it felt too ingrained in him. He loved Izuku. That wouldn't change, past life memories or not, Toshi felt that much as deep as his core. Something bound and etched in his soul. He would always love Izuku.
“When did the dreams start for you?” Toshi asked.
“Shortly after we met.” Izuku answered, sighing and glancing sideways at Toshi as he studiously kept his eyes on the road. “You?” There was no point pretending they hadn't experienced the same dreams, or visions, at this point.
“Same,” Toshi replied, gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly. It felt like he needed to apologize. “I'm sorry.”
“Why didn't you say anything?”
“Because...” Toshi sighed, still feeling like a raw ripped up nerve and unsure of what to do or say to make things better. Izuku had been so calm recently, calm and almost closed off or unhappy. Toshi hated seeing Izuku so cold like this. “Because it seemed crazy. It would have sounded crazy.”
“There were times I thought we felt similar things,” Izuku said after a moment, startling Toshi as he tried to wrack his brain for what times Izuku might have meant. It was so often that they seemed to be on the same wavelength. Toshi had maybe taken that for granted, that Izuku was just that attentive and observant.
“You tested me, didn't you?” Toshi guessed, thinking of a few of their conversations that seemed to parrallel too well with the dreams and the memory.
“You never let on,” Izuku shrugged, “I always wondered though.”
Yoshitsune had tested Sojobo like that too before he'd confronted him outright and contradicting his plan, his reasons for training Yoshitsune to fight the Taira.
Toshi thought maybe he should apologize again, but the silence dragged and the moment passed. Only a few more miles and they'd be at the base of the mountain. The tengu temple had a mountain path leading up to it. Not a long walk since the road would actually now take them almost more than halfway up.
“So... Mount Kurama, huh?” Toshi tried again, breaking the quiet and risking more emotional bruises. “Any idea what to expect?”
“We should 'awaken' right?” Izuku said, citing the same sources Toshi had found.
“Do you know what that means?”
Izuku shook his head.
“Are you hoping for something specific?” Maybe Toshi was being too nosy. But he still wondered. Izuku shook his head again and Toshi opened his mouth to say something else, but Izuku beat him to it.
“We'll know when we get there.”
It was probably all that needed to be said. Toshi had thought about it before. Worst case scenario, Sojobo basically comes back somehow, but it seemed unlikely somehow. Toshi had a more difficult time thinking of a best case scenario. It seemed most probable that the past life dreams would simply stop. Then they could move on with their current lives and finally discard the past.
Something like that wouldn't be so awful. Izuku would be free to continue his studies and pursue a brighter future. If he could forgive Toshi for the kiss then maybe he could maintain the relationship they'd had as mentor and protege. It would be enough and it would have to be. Toshi was planning on it anyway before what happened on the beach.
That was probably the best case scenario. Somehow it was depressing even knowing that things would work out best if that was all it was.
When they reached Mount Kurama they took the road as high as it went and Toshi parked the car on the outskirts of the tengu temple. Then they started the climb up the mountain path toward the peak.
Izuku lead the way and Toshi followed after him. Somehow both of them seemed to hone in on the place. Toshi's breath caught a little as they cleared the forest and found the old temple. It appeared almost exactly as it had in those hazy dreams and half-memories.
Slightly more overgrown with thicket and vines and slightly more delapidated from time and ages that had passed, but it was still standing. Somewhere in the thick woods, a murder of crows took off, crowing loudly and filling the air with their cries.
Izuku moved toward the doors, slightly rusting shut, and Toshi moved forward to help him with them. He didn't really need the help, but neither of them bothered to use One For All, instead prying the doors open together to get inside.
The moment they crossed the threshold something seemed to pulse and echo through him. Toshi nearly staggered from it and heard Izuku stumble next to him, similarly disoriented. The dreams had been opaque, barely wisps of memory, with repeition Toshi had remembered more of them.
Suddenly the dreams were clear. Not dreams but true memories.
Not just of Sojobo and Yoshitsune either.
They had been reborn again. Over and over. Yoshitsune and Sojobo, meeting under similar and dissimilar circumstances, following similar and dissimilar events.
Each time, something was wrong with it. Sojobo couldn't get his answer. Yoshitsune couldn't answer him. A tragedy that kept on rolling.
Toshi thought he realized why it kept recurring. Sojobo needed to know. He needed to hear it from Yoshitsune... that rejection. Or an acceptance? No. Not like this. Toshi was Izuku's teacher, his mentor, too old for him, a man, and there so many reasons besides.
“I remember,” Izuku whispered, eyes wide and hurt again as he met Toshi's gaze and Toshi's heart clenched all over again in echoed pain. “You died... you tried to save me... why did you do that? Why did you give up your life?”
“I already answered you before,” Toshi said, Sojobo's words echoed and this time they were his, an admission he would otherwise have never made. “I love you.”
Izuku was crying. Toshi reached for him without thinking, brushing the tears away and trying to comfort him. “I promised to protect you in all your battles,” he reminded Izuku, “Even future battles.”
“No, that's so—so what?! We're... soulmates? I mean what...?!” Izuku shook Toshi's hands away, scrubbing at his eyes to get rid of the tears.
“Maybe,” Toshi allowed, pulling away and knowing when he wasn't welcome. It would be tough to hear, but he'd been bracing for it. He wondered if after he finally heard Yoshitsune's response, if Sojobo could finally rest.
“This is—really?! This is so unfair!!” Izuku choked out, still reeling. In a way, Toshi's head was still swimming with it too.
“I know,” he agreed watching Izuku back against a nearby pillar and sink to his knees, just breathing through it all and getting past it. Toshi wanted to go to him, he wanted to gather Izuku in his arms and hold him until the sobbing shudders passed, but he knew it wouldn't be wanted.
“Every time—every single time—there was always something—just something in the way!!” Izuku said, irritated and shaking his head. His breathing finally seemed calm. “This time too... just why?!”
“I don't know,” Toshi shook his head. In a way it was a relief. Glad to be over with. Not quite over. There was one last bandaid to rip off. “But after this long... can you give me an answer?”
“What? What are you talking about?” Izuku asked, brow wrinkling in confusion.
Toshi's throat constricted around the words, too much pain in the admission despite the fact he'd said it so many times by now. “I love you.” He managed to say it calmly. The next thing should have been to ask directly. He knew Izuku didn't love him. He knew it with a resigned certainty and somehow felt he still needed to hear him say it.
Sojobo needed to hear that Yoshitsune had moved on.
Ichimanmaru Soga needed to hear that his brother Hakoomaru had been happy even after he'd died.
As much as it would break his heart, Toshi needed to know that Izuku would never feel the same.
Then with any luck at all, Toshi could stay in Izuku's life in the safe constraints of mentor and teacher. He could protect and watch over him and know that this was just fate. Toshi had never encountered love in his life before, now it all made sense. Painful as it was, this was simply how it was meant to be.
He could accept that. He had to. For Izuku's sake he would accept any place he could have in his life, safe and distant as long as Izuku was safe and happy.
“How do you feel about me?”
It sounded so awkward, but maybe it would have always sounded strange.
“What do you...?” Izuku still seemed confused and his face flushed a pretty color, embarrassed at being put on the spot. “What kind of question is that? We kissed!”
“Yes.” Toshi agreed, “I kissed you. That was my fault. I'm sorry.”
“I'm not! I kissed back!” Izuku said hotly. Suddenly every calm cool collected thought in Toshi's brain spontaneously exploded. Everything was on fire and alarms were blaring. All control felt like it had flown out the window as Toshi's mouth hung open and he floundered, like a tiny boat lost at sea without an anchor. “Why are you sorry?!”
“I—that's--!”
“You kissed me, I kissed you...” Izuku's flush deepened, less from humility as anger heated his words. “You said you loved me!”
“But—yes--that is—uh...” Toshi quailed and somehow ended up on his knees as well. The good thing was they were eye level with each other again. The bad thing was Izuku was still curled up defensively now and glaring.
“No! Don't you pull this on me again!” Izuku said, lunging for Toshi before he could get a decent argument out. “I'll admit it! Our previous lives always had something that prevented our relationship. Fine!”
“I was a demon,” Toshi muttered, as if that was a good argument against it. Izuku had caught him by his shoulders, knees knocking together, too close and still too far apart somehow.
“I never cared about that! I meant it when I said I wanted you beside me, my partner...” Izuku's face twisted in pain, quietly pleading with Toshi.
“Then we were brothers...” But Toshi had been human for the first time.
“That was bad, I'll admit it, definitely the worst.” Izuku agreed, shoulders slumping slightly, “But this time--!”
“I'm your teacher,” Toshi defended. “I should never have done that. I'm an adult. You're a child. We're both men. I'm old enough to be your father--”
“I won't be a child forever!” Izuku contradicted him. “I don't care that we're men. I never did! I don't care how old you are, you aren't that old! More importantly I love you too!”
It hurt. It felt like walls tearing down across centuries. Old wounds that had scarred over in an ugly pattern were ripped up and fresh blood washed hot with renewed feeling. It seemed impossible somehow.
“It's not acceptable...” Toshi said quietly, “Even if we wait. No one will else see it that way.”
“Toshi,” Izuku's voice called his name and it didn't matter if the actual word was Toshi, Sojobo, or any of their other names. This was one soul crying out for another and Toshi was drawn in, like gravity, it was inescapable. He didn't want to escape, it was everything he'd ever wanted. “We've faced barriers before. But this time, the only thing keeping us apart is a sense of propriety. This time, it's our choice, Toshi.”
Izuku's hands moved from his shoulders to his face as Izuku leaned in closer. Toshi hadn't realized he was crying until Izuku was brushing the tears from the corners of his eyes.
“I've waited centuries for you,” Izuku said, leaning in so their foreheads touched, lips barely a whisper apart. “How long are you going to make me wait?”
A rough short breath slipped out of Toshi and his voice was hoarse as he replied. “I've waited centuries for you too...”
It felt like fate. It was destiny. They were meant to be. Maybe always and it just took them a while to both catch up. Toshi didn't know it was him holding things up. He let out a shuddering breath and tilted his mouth toward Izuku's. Izuku met him halfway.
Lips melded together, sweet and salty, soft and warm as Izuku's arms wound back around Toshi's shoulders and his hands wrapped easily around Izuku, pulling the youth closer to him. Izuku went happily, pressing into him and sighing into the kiss as they poured their hearts out to each other.
Toshi wanted to clarify, that they would wait. That he would never hurt Izuku, that he wouldn't let this affect Izuku's school life or his career. Toshi didn't want to pull away. A soft moan slipped out of him as Izuku's tongue licked fire along his nerves. It was embarrassing, but Izuku was making soft breathy sounds too, both of them barely breathing between trying to melt their mouths and bodies together.
It could have been frenzied, instead it was soft and slow, all affection and shivery passion that bled devotion from one life to the next. Sweet and syrupy, Toshi's brain felt slow and overheated, his skin simultaneously numb and tingling, racing with soomething bright and glowing wherever Izuku shifted, impossibly closer. As if their souls could mesh together as well as their bodies.
They could talk later. Whatever Izuku was comfortable with. Whatever kept him whole, happy, and safe. Toshi loved Izuku. He could never hurt him. He would always protect him, in this life and in any other.
It had taken centuries, two souls that had connected and been brought apart by circumstance and convention over and over. It had taken so long just to get to this point. It was worth it. They were together. Finally. Toshi had never been happier.