Chapter Text
“I’m a mess.” Gwen stares in horror at the reflection looking back at her in the bathroom mirror.
Her eyes are red and puffy. Her face is swollen and locks of hair are sticking up at weird angles and stuck to her face and neck.
But Miles merely gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Eh. You still look better than Ganke that one time you dared him to eat four whole packets of hot sauce,” he jokes, stealing a shy glance at her from the corner of his eye.
The image of Miles' poor, unsuspecting roomate, flushed bright red with tears swimming in his eyes and sweat streaming down the sides of his face, his glasses foggy as he gulped water between fits of strangled coughing resurfaces in Gwen's memory. The three of them couldn't stop laughing for a solid five minutes after the whole shebacle
She chuckles at the memory and shoots Miles a good-natured smirk as he disappears into the hallway, returning a few moments later with a handful of clothes that he sets on the sink counter.
“Hope you don’t mind,” he says nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t really have anything…”
“Miles, this’ll work fine. Thanks.” she says flashing him a grateful smile.
After making sure Gwen has everything she needs, Miles leaves shutting the door behind him.
Gwen peels herself out of the the clingy, wet suit and steps into the shower.
Turning the handle almost all the way up, hot water jets out of the shower head and across her skin. Almost immediately, it draws the cold from her bones and a sigh of relief passes her lips. She feels the tension melt away from the sore, tired muscles underneath her skin and her shoulders loosen as the stress and exhaustion from the day’s events evaporate into the steam. The last of her worries for the moment washing away and swirling down the drain.
By the time Gwen is standing back in front of the mirror, gingerly running a comb through her hair, she’s beginning to feel like herself again.
After hanging her suit over the bathtub to dry, Gwen shrugs into the clothes Miles had left for her: a pair of basketball shorts he doesn’t fit into anymore thanks to his spider bite induced growth spurt, and a customized hoodie she figures he designed himself.
It’s a deep violet color with the words It’s a leap of faith splayed across the front in white graffiti letters and bursts of neon pink and blue making up the New York skyline.
A pleasant burst of warmth spreads through Gwen's chest and she smiles fondly in the mirror.
And it crosses her mind, not for the first time, just how incredibly lucky she is to have this boy in her life.
_____
Meanwhile, Miles sets a couple of steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the coffee table, tosses a few extra pillows onto the couch and spreads out a blanket. Pulling the table closer, he opens up his laptop and begins scrolling through Webflix.
After Gwen had explained her goober situation, they’d popped hers into his charger to recharge overnight and decided to binge watch tv in the living room after Gwen had a chance to clean up.
As he scrolls through the Recently Added list, Miles replays the events of the last hour in his head. It had been quite an emotionally taxing rollercoaster of an evening for him too.
When he’d first found Gwen huddled outside, freezing by herself in the storm, his heart had plummeted into his stomach worrying that she was hurt or sick or in danger. When that became less of an impending threat, he worried about how she’d landed in a situation like this and why in the world she hadn’t come straight to him.
Then, once they were inside, she’d suddenly looked so terror stricken and helpless. It was as if he’d turned and pointed a gun at her head. She was downright petrified. Her frame so rigid and tense her whole body shook, her breaths stuttered and erratic, and the pink eyes of her mask wider than he’d ever seen them. She looked as though she were about to faint of sheer panic right then and there on his bedroom floor.
It both broke his heart and terrified him.
But he'd immediately pushed his own feelings aside to focus his attention back on her.
He wondered and worried about what could possibly have had Gwen so unlike herself. So anxious and distraught.
And whatever it was, he’d wanted more than anything in that moment to make it go away. To do everything in his power to make it okay. To bring back her bright, beautiful, gap-toothed smile. Even if it meant never knowing what had happened. Whatever she needed. To keep her safe and happy, Miles thought he was ready to do just about anything. Complete any task, defeat any monster, face any threat that dared to cross someone he held so dear. As long as it meant she’d be okay.
But when she’d finally opened up to him about everything that had led her up to that moment, Miles felt his heart shatter into a million pieces and a vast, gaping hole was left where he’d expected to find a solution.
Just to see her smile again, he’d been willing to take down any adversary. But what was he supposed to do when that overarching foe, the one that cast such a downcast, gloomy shadow over her brilliant, quick-witted spirit, was herself?
It wasn’t often that Gwen ever cried at all. She was by far one of the toughest people he knew. So seeing his best friend, normally so calm, confident, and collected so utterly heartbroken and despondent had ripped him to shreds inside. She had looked like a wilted flower with no strength left to hold up her head.
Miles had only ever seen her anything like this once before.
A year ago, when she’d told him what really happened to her Peter Parker.
They had been swinging through the city on a Saturday afternoon when a nearby billboard advertising a concert being held that night reminded Gwen of the day’s date. Then, without explanation, she’d turned and zipped quickly in the opposite direction.
Within minutes, Miles had found her on top of an apartment building with her knees drawn up to her chest and a forlorn look on her face.
At first, he said nothing and approached her slowly, cautiously as if she were a bird he didn’t want to scare away. When she didn’t immediately snap at him to leave her alone, he sat down next to her trying to follow her gaze to the spot it was so intently locked on faraway on the horizon.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” he’d asked not entirely sure what “it” was.
For a long while, she said nothing. Long enough for Miles to wonder whether she’d heard him at all. But then, in a voice so small he’d barely heard it above the New York traffic under their feet, she mumbled, “He said he wanted to be like me.”
She then slowly, painfully recounted to him what had happened exactly three years ago to the day. She told him about the homecoming dance. And the giant lizard. The fight in the school gym. The scales. So many scales. The chemicals slowly eating away at its body. Peter's body growing colder and colder in her arms. His last words. And the police team headed by her own father chasing her halfway across the city afterward.
Somewhere along the way, tears had begun making their way down her cheeks until they were dripping from her chin and falling twenty stories down onto the pavement. Miles had never seen her looking so lost, so empty, and uncomfortable in her own skin.
At first, it had been a little awkward. Miles wasn't quite sure what to say, but he’d given her his utmost attention, understanding, and a hug, and it seemed to be enough.
By the end, her tears had dried and she leaned into him as they sat in silence watching the sunset over the New York skyline. Maybe it was because a part of her already knew, in some way that neither of them quite knew how to express yet, that he understood better than anyone.
And later, when the sky was pitch black and streetlights glittered below, and they'd realized she should probably be getting home, she’d given him a tired but sincere smile, loosely wrapping an arm around his neck in a hug goodbye. “Thanks.” she’d said simply before stepping into her portal.
That was the day she’d trusted him enough to relate her most painful memory. It was the most vulnerable he'd ever seen her.
But now, Miles realizes that she’d still been putting on a brave face. Swallowing her pain so that he wouldn’t see how tight a hold it still had on her.
Today it had all come to a head. And this time, Miles saw just how deeply and painfully the scars of that night ran through his best friend. How they still weighed so heavily on her heart and warped her self image into something so horrendously far from the truth. To the point where she feared that because of her, history would repeat itself and they were doomed to share the same fate.
And to hear her saying those awful things about herself, to know just how badly she was hurting, how much she blamed herself for things that were in no way her fault, made everything inside him ache with an overwhelming onslaught of emotions.
Bewilderment, horror, anger, sorrow, empathy, and love coursed through him like a flash flood. And before he could think the better of it, it all came rushing out. Everything he felt about her and all that she meant to him. He’d spilled it all on to the floor in a desperate attempt to ease the unimaginable load of pain she was in and just maybe, help her to see that she wasn’t nearly as alone as she’d thought.
And by some miracle, it’d worked.
By some miracle, her arms were squeezing tight around his shoulders, her head was tucked safely under his chin, and their heartbeats were slowly beginning to soften like a little child tentatively climbing down the stairs.
And suddenly, things felt like they were on their way to being okay.
And Miles’ heart had just managed to stop hammering against his ribs like it wanted to burst right through his chest when she’d said it. Those three little words she’d echoed back to him. He knew what she meant. Of course he did. Because that’s what he’d meant when he said them first.
But hearing her say them had brushed aside any sense of calm in his system. His pulse had kicked back into high gear and his head began to buzz, but this time with a much more pleasant sensation. A familiar, weightless flutter spreading through his entire body from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers and down into his stomach. It was almost like the thrill of swinging through skyscrapers only instead launching off of built up momentum, he was constantly, effortlessly up in the air. It felt like flying. It was terribly cheesy and cliche, he knew.
But that’s what he felt two weeks ago when, in the middle of their routine post-crime-busting-stargazing-rooftop-cheeseburger-picnic, Gwen had nudged his arm, looked him calmly and kindly in the eye, and told him that at some point over the last couple years, he’d taken up a little more space in her heart than she'd realized.
It’s how he felt when he did his best to match her cool and play it off as if this were a mildly interesting piece of news to him rather than the earth shattering revelation that it was. Which of course, she’d seen right through because it was him, and couldn’t help but laugh at his feeble attempt to look like he had it all together.
It was definitely how he was feeling when she’d interrupted his stuttering, pink faced, barely coherent mess of a response by dropping a hand onto his shoulder and saying “Hey,” (that shut him up), and then stood on her toes to plant a quick little peck on his lips before opening up her portal with a “See ya next week, Spider-man”, waving a two fingered salute as she jumped in, leaving him with a gigantic, goofy grin and a soaring heart as he made his way home, swinging himself much higher up than he probably ought too.
And it was how he felt in that moment, with their arms wrapped around each other under a layer of cold towels and their faces streaked with brushed away tears, as she told him she loved him.
But for all of the wonderfully exhilarating, heart fluttering, head spinning, adrenaline rushing, euphoria it brought, this newly opened door was also pretty nerve wracking. In the far, irrational, corners of his mind, Miles worried about messing it up, saying or doing something wrong, and losing Gwen forever.
And though she hid it better, Gwen admitted to him the week after their first kiss, that she was scared too. This was new terrain for the both of them but they were tackling it together and trusting each other to help them get through it. It was just how they handled things. Together.
Miles is still mulling over all of this in his head when Gwen walks in through the doorway.
“Hey, you picked something yet?” she asks glancing down at his laptop.
Miles looks up and opens his mouth to reply, but his response catches in his throat and stops short because man, she looks cute. His hoodie is just a little big on her. The hem hangs slightly past her fingertips and the sleeves sort of swallow up her hands. Not enough to drown her in it but she does look significantly less menacing than usual. Her cheeks and nose are glowing a healthy shade of pink which allows him to breathe a sigh of relief, and a couple locks of honey blonde hair are falling in front of her eyes.
“Oh, uhh.. no, I couldn’t find anything. Thought we could pick together.” he says, handing her a mug of hot chocolate. Extra marshmallows and a dash of chilli powder. A combination he'd introduced to her last winter which had quickly become her favorite.
Gwen shrugs and easily plunks down on the couch next to him, pulling his computer into her lap. Miles reads over her shoulder as she scrolls through the list and they begin considering their options. Any residual tension between them dissipates as they they roll back into this familiar rhythm.
Gwen scrolls for a bit longer before settling on something. “What about this?”
Miles peers at the screen. San Francisco 77. It looks like a sitcom set in a police department precinct. It seems like it could be interesting. It might even be funny to get his dad's reaction to the show later.
“Sure,” Miles says, spreading the blanket over the both of them.
Gwen shifts the laptop so that half of it is sitting on her leg and half of it is on his.
Their legs brush against each other under the blanket and Miles is suddenly very aware of how close they are. Their arms are squished against each other, taking up space, and uncomfortably pushing them away from each other and the screen. He wonders if maybe he should just put his arm around her. It would be easier if he could get it out of the way.
But would she want him too? Would it makes things painfully awkward? Miles cringes at the memory of his first attempt to do something like this. Heck, he’s so nervous he just might accidentally tear out the other half of her hair. And then he'd never ever live it down.
Miles shakes his head. He's overthinking this. He's not fourteen years old, struggling to introduce himself to the pretty new girl in his physics class while unbeknownst to him, newly gained spider powers are beginning to manifest in his system. He's sixteen, that pretty girl is now his best friend and crime fighting partner who’s already told him that she likes him back, and they're just watching tv. It's no big deal. He can do this.
After another few seconds of this internal tug-of-war, Miles finally settles for resting his arm behind her across the back of the couch, leaving the decision up to her. But his pulse is still drumming in his ears until Gwen scoots closer to him, pressing her side into his and leaning her head on his shoulder.
"This okay?" she asks not taking her eyes off the screen. But he picks up the slightest waver in her voice.
A wobbly “Y-yeah," is all he can manage over his nerves but he feels Gwen relax into him and he moves his arm to rest snugly around her shoulders.
And then, things are just as they always were. They're there together, savoring the comfort and ease of each other’s company.
____
An episode or two into their marathon, Miles glances over at Gwen.
He can’t help but smile at the drastic improvement in her mood. Her easy going, contented smile, the way her eyes light up and her gap tooth peeks through her lips as she laughs at a joke on screen, and the feeling of her softly snuggled up against him in his hoodie makes him wish they could stay like this forever
Miles doesn’t realize he’s staring until Gwen turns to look back at him, her ocean blue eyes locking on his and an eyebrow slightly arched in questioning. But the corners of her strawberry pink lips are quirked up in a gentle yet knowing smile, and her blonde waves fall lightly framing her face. God, she’s beautiful.
Before he can chicken himself out of it, Miles reaches over and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, tentatively cupping her face in his hand, brushing his thumb over her cheek, and leans in halfway to look into her eyes, silently asking to kiss her.
Because he really wants to. But he wants to be sure that she wants him to.
The last thing he’d want is to have read her wrong and end up making her uneasy with something she doesn't feel ready for and ruin her night just as she’d finally begun to feel better.
But Gwen responds by clasping her hand over Miles’ and closing the distance, gently pressing her lips to his.
At first, there’s a bit of hesitancy, a hint of shyness and uncertainty as they test uncertain waters. But it all quickly melts into something that feels more like home. Something of tenderness, and patience, and love.
So they take their time, letting things fall into place, enjoying each moment as they grow more and more familiar with each other. And soon, it feels like the two of them. Like sunshine, exhilaration, and trust.
This kiss is gentler but also has a touch more fervency than quick peck Gwen had given him two weeks before. And this time, Miles has time to notice the taste of hot chocolate lingering on her lips laced with a subtle kick of heat left from the chilli powder, the warmth of her hand on the back of his neck pulling him close, and the way the flutter in his chest falls silent like it's making room so that the only thing he's feeling is her lips moving softly against his own.
After a few moments they break apart smiling and rest their foreheads against each other.
"Gwen…" Miles starts, but he's at a loss for words. Nothing he could possibly say would express what's going on in his head. The way he’s wholly and completely enraptured with her, the fullness of his heart, and how unbelievably happy he is to be falling in love with his best friend.
Thankfully, they've grown accustomed to reading each other's minds. Gwen smiles in understanding, touching a hand to his cheek. She feels the same. Then she snuggles back into Miles, her arms loosely wrapped around his torso and her head laying on his shoulder. And he holds her closer with his arm around her shoulders as they continue watching until they drift off to sleep.
And that's how Miles’ parents find them the next morning curled up together, fast asleep on the couch.
"C’mon Rio, we gotta talk to him. He can't just be bringing people into the apartment when we're not home. Especially a girl. Even if it’s Gwen."
"Jeff, mí amor, he's not doing any harm. And he's obviously tired. Let them sleep. We can talk to him when they wake up."
_____
Later that day, as Gwen prepares to leave, they stand on top of a building a couple blocks down from Miles' apartment.
Gwen has on Miles' hoodie as she'd worn it over her suit when they'd gone to grab a post crime-busting snack. And Miles notices that she seems a bit reluctant to part with it.
"You really like that thing don't you?" he asks amusedly.
Gwen pauses from pulling it over her head.
“Um heh, uh yeah it- it’s-“ she stutters the color rising in her cheeks, “you did such a great job with this design, it’s so unique and uh, it’s really soft and warm and um it kinda- it smells nice.”
Miles can’t help the swell of pride he feels at her words and the giddiness of knowing something he'd done had made Gwen so happy.
“Well then, it’s yours if you want.”
The radiant smile that envelops her face brings that fluttery feeling back tenfold.
"Really? Thanks.”
“You know, since you’ll miss me so much.”
Gwen rolls her eyes and laughs as she reaches up to hug him goodbye.
“See ya, Spider-Boy.”
“Later, Gwanda.”
As Miles swings home, his heart is full with high hopes and excitement for what the future has in store. He knows, of course, that bad is bound to come with the good. There’ll be bigger monsters and harder battles up ahead both internal and external but as long as they have each other, they’re more than ready.