Chapter Text
He was hurting. Bleeding, from somewhere deep inside that should have been protected…
But it had been. The guardians had not fallen to outsiders, but to their king, furious and desperate and ignorant of the consequences.
It had not been an enemy that struck him down.
He had mutilated his own soul to see an enemy brought down… he had thought it was worth it.
There was something watching him, far away and distant.
Watching. Assessing. Contemplation.
A voice spoke to him, and he spoke back, the words forgotten even as he responded to them. Words dropped from his lips only to be swallowed by the void around them, not even memory left behind.
Decision.
His wounds screamed in a blaze of agony, only for the world to flare red…
The decision was carried out.
Ichigo woke up without a start, a scream or a shout, for all that his heart was still pounding from the dream.
It was the same one he’d had almost every time he’d closed his eyes for months now, ever since he’d woken up in a comfortable bed in the Urahara shouten with the faint smoke of incense in the air.
He hadn’t told anyone. Even if it didn’t feel like something private, to be shared in a moment of quiet and vulnerability- who was there to tell?
His friends, even those who hadn’t known him as a shinigami, had been awkward with him ever since he’d gotten after Aizen’s defeat. Sometimes it felt like there was a chasm between them, growing wider as time went by and pieces of old friendships crumbled away.
He’d considered trying to reach out, at least to those of his old friends who didn’t run off to fight hollows, but it seemed…
Not worth it. Not with the way they too watched him, part wary part worried in a way that made him think that they knew something he didn't, but also that they wouldn't tell him. Possibly even for his own good.
He'd been a bit of a loner even after he had friends. It kind of sucked to go back to it, but not as much as trying to make friends with people who knew his old friends were watchful of him would have been. And if he wanted company, at least Yuzu didn't mind spending a bit of time with her big brother every so often.
“Hey Yuzu.” Her brother rumbled, laying a hand on her head as he walked passed. “Plans for today?”
“Not really. There’s no indoor clubs today, so I don’t really have anything once school finishes.” She answered, neatly putting grilled salmon on the plate for Ichigo. He’d become very fond of fish lately- he’d liked it well enough before, but now it seemed to be his favourite part of any meal.
Ichigo smiled at her as he took his breakfast from her. “I have a job near that new seafood restaurant you wanted to try. I thought maybe we could get dinner out tonight, since Karin and dad are busy.”
Unsaid was the fact that their father was visiting old friends in the Spirit world, while Karin was training either with Urahara or for soccer. It never seemed to matter; either way she wasn’t home. Yuzu considered it for a moment- it’d be a nice change. The new restaurant was a bit further out than they usually went, but she’d heard good things.
“I’d like that.”
Ichigo smiled at her, eyes gleaming.
It’s probably just a trick of the light.
Himari trembled as the group of boys surrounded her. She’d thought it would be a safe enough shortcut- through the park, maybe a bit later than most kids would be out playing, but much quicker than having to go all the way around the park to the stores on the other side.
She was regretting that now.
Just as the biggest thug took a step towards her, leering, a voice broke in.
“Now Ojima. I thought we’d talked about this.”
He froze, face contorting into a (rictus of fear) a snarl. “I thought you’d have better things to do than mess with my business, copycat. Like Yasutora, haven’t seen him in a while.”
The owner of the voice, another young man, this one taller and slender in comparison, tilted his head forward. “Chad might do. I don’t. So, this can go two ways. Option One, you back down right now. Option Two, you’ll back down because I’ll make you.”
Ojima blustered, even as he took steps backward. One of the others disagreed with that course of action; and charged with a yell.
Himari flinched- but then small hands grabbed her by the arm and pulled her forward, away from the fight.
They ran a short distance, the sounds of the fight fading. When they stopped, Himari took stock of her companion, a girl with sandy brown hair. Couldn’t be more than 14, probably younger.
“It’s okay.” The young girl assured her. “Ni-san’s good in a fight. He’ll catch up with me in a while. Do you want us to walk you?”
Himari shook her head wordlessly.
“Alright. Would you like to sit down?”
There was a bench right there. Perhaps sitting down would be a good idea, just to catch her breath.
“You’re really lucky Ni-san and I were passing.” The girl chattered. “He’s something of a guardian- he can’t stand guys like that picking on people who can’t fight back.”
A guardian?
The girl looked to the side, and Himari followed her gaze. The young man, the girl’s brother, walked up with a smile playing on his lips.
“Everything alright?” He asked, gently.
Himari found herself nodding. “Thank you very much for your help.”
“No problem.” He shrugged. “Would you like company, until you get out the park?”
She agreed. It wasn’t until she’d parted ways with the siblings that she realised she’d never gotten their names.
Tricky guardians.
She half laughed at the whimsical thought- but couldn’t quite bring herself to dismiss it.
“And where have you two been?” Karin demanded as her siblings walked in the door.
Yuzu blinked at her. “Oh. Hi Karin! I thought you were out tonight?”
Ichigo didn’t slow down, just stashed his shoes and walked passed her to the kitchen. “Was training cancelled?”
Her breath caught in her throat- did Ichigo Know?
No, he couldn’t. He probably meant her soccer training. Not that Urahara had frowned at the Shoten counter and told her he had plans for that evening, and that Tessai was treating Ururu and Jinta to a meal out.
“Yeah. It was.” She said, and hoped it didn’t sound as sulky as she thought it had.
Judging by Yuzu’s look of pity, that was a forlorn hope.
“I’m sorry Karin. We weren’t expecting you home, so we decided to try the new seafood place on Kurufu street.” Yuzu explained. “Have you had dinner?”
“Yeah, I found something in the fridge.” She waved off her sister.
“You didn’t touch the dried figs, did you?” Ichigo called. “I have a plan for that.”
Karin blinked, moving to follow Ichigo into the kitchen. “A plan? Are you cooking?”
“Not really.” Ichigo shrugged. “I’m making up a decoy lunch for Natsu. He’s been demanding ‘tribute’ from people the last few weeks, and I’m pretty sure I’m tomorrow. And I know he hates figs.”
“You can’t just punch him in the face?” Karin asked, bewildered.
Ichigo made a scoffing noise. “Not if I want to look innocent. That’s getting more important these days. Besides, he’ll look like an idiot spitting out the figs. Hopefully it’ll be embarrassing enough he won’t try it again.”
“He’s not allergic, is he?” Yuzu double checked, walking through the door.
“I checked, he just really doesn’t like them.” Their big brother assured her.
“How do you even check something like that?” Karin asked. Ichigo used to be a lot more straightforward, she was sure. How was he going to get this Natsu to eat the figs, anyway?
Ichigo grinned at her, a grin that seemed to emphasise his canine teeth. “I have my ways.”
The void was no longer a void, but a field he sat in the middle of. Even the sky wasn't empty, petals and seeds drifting on the winds.
He knew where he was. He knew why he was here. He even knew who had called him.
“Inari-sama.” He greeted. “May I ask your plan for me?”
There was a sense of laughter, as a 9 tailed kitsune stepped out of the long grass, dwarfing him. Yet he didn’t feel afraid, despite the fact he would barely be a mouthful if this turned into a fight.
It wouldn’t. He got a foreign sense of a-lack-of-plans. Just- opportunity. Prayers. Time, place, and Ichigo’s own nature, leading to a natural conclusion.
…Ichigo saw himself in that moment, as if from the outside. A young man, with the bright hair that had been a shining beacon to bullies and teacher’s alike, nearly hiding the ears atop his head. Himself, sitting in the middle of the field, a distinctly coloured fox tail held still behind him on the ground.
“Why me?” He wondered aloud.
Guardian. Warrior. Reiryoku gushing out from his soul, the fierceness of the will that would have stemmed the tide shattered. A broken dam, wiping out all in its path.
“Wouldn’t I have been okay if you just stemmed the bleeding?” Ichigo asked.
Foolishness. Reiryoku is not water, and a body is not a jug. The soul and body are a landscape, and even had Inari stopped the escape of the reiryoku and patched the cracks, Ichigo would not have simply become a less powerful human soul. He would have been himself, but incredibly weakened. The land doesn’t adapt to a drought to become a desert, the plants and the animals still need the water they did before, it simply isn’t there anymore.
That was worse than Ichigo had thought, given that he had survived. What kind of life could he have led, not simply a powerless human but one damaged and aching from it?
Inari showed him what had been done to Ichigo’s soul. The first step was to give it a new source of water. In the destruction of his soul, the river had been diverted, but with Inari's aid a new spring had been unearthed. The sun had been burning, but clouds had rolled in until the land had recovered enough to bear it. Gentle rain had fallen, encouraging new growth.
The land was not as it was before, there were marshy grasses where the river had run and different plants growing than before- the landscape had been adapted, the plants changed to reflect it. Ichigo was no damaged human soul, Shinigami or otherwise. He was a fox now, with the strength to do as he would, and the power to forge onwards in any direction he chose.
“Is there anything you want me to do, Inari-sama?” He asked around the lump in his throat.
There was a sense of amusement, and then Inari spoke for the first time. “You are not bound to my service. Continue as you wish, you would not have been granted this boon, prayers or no prayers, if you were not worthy of it.”
Ichigo wondered for just one second just who would have prayed to Inari for him, but Inari decided to answer.
Inari Ōkami- I pray to you, Protector of Warriors, on behalf of my brother Ichigo. He-who-protects. Number-One-Guardian. He was wounded- badly. Someone said he’d lost half of his soul. Ichigo’s hurting, and he will hurt for the rest of his life. If there’s anything in your power to help my brother be as whole as possible, to help make him able to face the world as a warrior again, please help him!
He’s so much more than a warrior Inari Ōkami. He’s my big brother, a loyal friend to anyone who earns his friendship or respect, but he is a fighter first and foremost. I don’t know if he knows how not to fight, and it’ll destroy him to see other people defend when he can’t.
Please- I want him to be okay again, one day.
Yuzu? He should have known, given the fox toy that now had pride of place on his desk. But there was another voice…
Please let him live. He has so much to live for, so many who love him. It’s bad enough I helped lead him to this, I don’t want to live with having crushed that bonfire soul into embers, but I could. Easily, forever, so long as there are embers there is hope of reigniting that blaze, in this life or the next. Just let him live. (Let him live as full a life as he can, as he could have if he'd never taken up the sword or had it ripped from him.)
And underneath the words- Ichigo aflame, sense of awe, admiration, regret, fear, fear of that (beauty, rough kindness, cold fury, blazing determination and gently hidden smiles) being lost forever…
Kisuke!
Ichigo awoke, in his own bed. And for a single moment, he could swear he heard Inari laughing.
He grinned, able to feel the tail that no one could see without his permission, able to feel the gleaming sharpness of teeth meant to tear, able to feel everything a true kitsune was able to feel in the world.
He’s mine.