Chapter Text
April 4
Remus slammed into awakeness like bursting through an icy waterfall, with the sharp tendrils of a nightmare he couldn’t quite remember still coiled around his throat, around his lungs. It’s okay, you’re okay. His chest heaved, his heart pounded, and he breathed hard through the lingering panic, the aftermath of the fear that had been so thick, cloying, suffocating. Deep breath, Lupin . He clenched his jaw and forced his muscles to relax, eased the tight grip he had on the sheets and tried to deepen his shuddering breathing, to lengthen each inhale, to hold, to extend the exhale. You’re fine, you’re okay.
The darkness behind his eyelids began to ripple into crimson and his heart seemed to be thudding in his throat. Breathe, Lupin, breathe. Mouth dry, he tilted his head back against the pillow and raised a shaky hand to run through his hair. Think of something else, think of - The rippling black lines in his head curved, rippled, and became strands of dark hair blowing in a frigid wind past a smile that was bright, warm - Remus breathed out, slow and deep, as Sirius’ grin widened in his head, as Sirius tilted his head down, then up, breath misting up in white clouds, eyes sparkling. A smile crept onto Remus’ own lips as Sirius’ eyes shined with excitement, as they sparked into teasing, softened into caring. Into loving, Remus’ mind whispered treacherously, and he grinned. Shut up, Lupin. Sirius’ barking laugh echoed through his mind, high and loud and clear, Sirius’ soft smile and bright grin and amused smirk. Remus’ fingers twitched at the memory of Sirius’ warmly wound through his own, at Sirius’ hand waving through the air as he spoke, twirling pens between lithe fingers, drawing his bow precisely across the strings. He could see Sirius’ focused expression, the way he sat up straight and moved his fingers so precisely, the long, smooth, rich notes of the viola - Remus’ eyes snapped open. That wasn’t his imagination.
The tune morphed before he could place it, the notes shorter and higher and more energetic leaps, and he tilted his head, confused. His heart began to pound in a different way, hope leaping with the strokes of the instrument as he pushed off the mattress and leaned over his desk to yank the curtains apart, wincing at the sudden brightness despite the overcast day. There was a momentary flare of panic - what if he didn’t leave for work yet and he - until he saw the empty driveway, and he shut his eyes for a moment and breathed in as the song changed again, as the notes went deeper and richer. But his eyes widened a moment later, and a grin broke onto his face as he turned to yank his blanket around his shoulders and push the window open.
Sirius was standing on his front lawn, beaming up at him, hair pulled into a bun again, and not looking down for a moment as his fingers leapt across the neck of the instrument and the bow slid smoothly back and forth, beautiful notes streaming up towards him almost tangibly, tingling against his cheeks, his hair. There was a wild joy brimming in chest as he slid the window up to lean out slightly. His face was already frozen numb, but he was sure he was beaming.
“Whatcha up to, boyfriend?” Sirius called casually from his lawn - from his lawn - Remus ducked into the window to bury his face in his hands, his cheeks icy against his warmer fingers, and let out a deep exhale that seemed to waver and break into a shaky laugh. How did you ever get yourself here, Lupin? He pulled the blanket around his shoulders and leaned out again, elbows on the windowsill.
“Not up to much, what about you?” He didn’t quite pull off Sirius’ casual tone as well, and the almost hysterical laugh broke his last word, and the music flowed on, warm and leaping and vibrating against his heart as it thrummed.
“Not much.” Sirius called, grinning as he turned on the spot to face away slightly then tilted his head back as he leapt into another song. “I have this rare opportunity to serenade you, you see, had to take advantage.”
“You-” Remus lifted a hand to stifle the bright smile. “You call that- you call that ser-” He burst into laughter and pulled the blanket tighter as a gust of wind burned at his ears. “Shut up!” He called as Sirius’ grin went broad and smug.
“Never!” Sirius stretched the word to match a long note as his bow slowly drew across, and Remus wanted to climb into this song, into this moment, wanted to tug it around him like the blanket he was now gripping so tightly his fingers were protesting.
“Care to continue this serenade indoors?”
Sirius’ nose was bright red with the cold, cheeks raw with the wind. Naturally, he shook his head vehemently. “ Serenading , Remus! It doesn’t count if it’s indoors!”
The fondness burst out in a laugh, and Remus leaned back into his room, the difference in warmth less stark with the frigid wind he was letting in, then leaned back out. “Your boyfriend’s inside though. It seems to me it doesn’t count if you’re not actually together.”
Sirius’ bow paused for a moment as his eyebrows scrunched contemplatively, then it swept into action again. “Point, I suppose. I do like the together part.”
Remus smiled. “What a coincidence, I like the together part too.”
The bow slashed back and forth more quickly, the notes high and bright and leaping with Remus’ joy, with Sirius’ grin. “Alright, grand finale then!” Remus nodded gravely, and Sirius smirked then dropped to his knees and flung his head back to meet Remus’ gaze. “I’d like to dedicate this last one to my boyfriend Remus!” Remus buried his face in his hands again, the word flaming through his chest and bringing his heart to a rising thunder, his hands flaring with warmth and his long-since numb face not feeling the beaming expression that overtook it. He peeked through his fingers as Sirius raised the bow to point at him. “Remus, I may be the literal star here, but you are the ultimate orbit. Here’s to this,” he paused to yank his hair out of the bun then leapt to his feet, eyes bright, “gravitational attraction.”
Remus wasn’t certain what his face could possibly look like right now, and certainly couldn’t feel it, but as Sirius’ bow drew across the strings, as the song began to stream up to him, lively and bursting merrily, as the wind lifted gently at strand’s of Sirius’ dark hair that fell smoothly and softly over his ears, against his shoulders and Sirius’ grin softened into a tender smile, he thought there might be something warm and bright on his cheeks, dripping onto the windowsill that he leaned against as he sank to the ground beside it. For a moment, the music played, his heart leapt, and an awful fear surged that he needed to cut away from this, needed to slam the window, to run and escape because if he let himself have this moment, maybe nothing would ever, ever make him this happy again. Then Sirius shook the dark strands away from his glittering eyes and tilted his head, the notes slowed, stretched, became velvety and smooth and warm in a way he could feel, in a way that seemed to wrap the trembling of his fingers, to pour steadiness over his shoulders, and as the fear drained away, Remus gathered this moment, this warm, beautiful, happy moment, and he allowed himself to sink into it. His head dropped to rest against the window frame, he closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled, and his heart sang. For a long few minutes, or perhaps a few seconds, or no time at all, Sirius looked up at him, eyes warm and bright and filled with too much, so much, and Remus gazed down, chest thrumming and fingers shaking and heart safe, warm, happy. Then Sirius was straightening, drawing a last, long note, and dropping his bow to his side, a smirk rising to his lips as he dropped into the bow-curtsy, hair swinging to hide his expression, to curtain the bright red cheeks.
Remus rose to his feet, the blanket dropping to the ground as he grinned and broke into applause, his fingers stinging distantly with either the cold or the stiffness. Sirius waved off the applause with a proud grin, then cleared his throat. “On a scale of one thousand to six million-”
“Get inside!” Remus smirked. “Your fingers must be burning, I can give you a full report in here, I took plenty of notes.”
Sirius scowled. “For your information, I can’t even feel my fingers so take that, Remus Lupin, no burning at all.” Remus shook his head as Sirius pointed up at him. “And I would’ve seen you taking notes, Frank , so why don’t-”
Remus reached behind him and scrambled across his desk for a paper, then held it up triumphantly, bursting into laughter as Sirius’ eyes widened and he stepped forward, rising onto his toes as if that distance would allow him to read it. “What’s the underlined part?” He demanded, and Remus stifled a laugh as he pretended to look down at the paper, which seemed to be the start of a poem draft he hadn’t finished.
“It says-”
“Wait!” Sirius burst out, and Remus glanced up from the paper. Sirius crossed his arms sulkily. “Glasses.”
Remus sighed loudly, shaking his head even as a grin pulled as his lips, and he leaned back through the window to grab his glasses and push them onto his face, then cleared his throat and brandished the paper, pointing at the underlined section. “Explain to Sirius what gravitational attraction in astrological orbits actually is.” Remus felt proud of how little of the laughter bubbling in his chest escaped as Sirius furrowed his brows up at him, trying to determine whether he was telling the truth, releasing it when Sirius pouted.
“Can’t even let a guy give a romantic serenade without educational pointers.” Sirius grumbled, and Remus grabbed at the blanket again as he laughed. “What’s the moon know about attraction and orbits anyway?” They both froze for a moment, a grin spreading slowly on Remus’ face at Sirius’ expression of dawning realization before he raised a finger quickly. “Not a word!”
“A word.” Remus called down, and Sirius switched the bow to his other hand as he threw his arms up in surrender with a grin. “Come inside, it’s freezing!”
Sirius smirked up at him, and his arms rose dramatically with his voice. “Remus, if you think the icy winds can tear me away from this date then you would be incorrect, sir! No force of freezing or otherwise can force me inside when I am on a quest, I am-”
“What about the force of gravitational attraction though?” Remus wondered thoughtfully, and Sirius groaned.
“It was romantic, Moony, do you remember romantic? Serenade, date, any of that ringing a bell?”
Remus laughed. “Speaking of ringing bells, why don’t you come ring mine? And I’ll open it? And we can continue this wrapped in blankets sipping hot chocolate?”
Sirius narrowed his eyes at him and nodded slowly. “This does sound like a force that could draw me away from this spot.” Remus rolled his eyes with a grin, and leaned out of the wind into his room. “I’ll be over in 15 minutes!”
Remus paused, then furrowed his eyebrows. “What? What do you need 15 minutes for?”
Sirius looked at him with a smirk. “Remus, this doesn’t just happen.”
Remus shook his head again, warmth thudding through him, then waved at him. “Go, go, make that happen, I’ll find the hot chocolate.”
“Try under the bed!” Sirius called, and Remus assumed an innocent expression before sliding the window shut firmly. Sirius gave an exaggerated sigh, reaching up to him as if to hold his hand, and Remus smiled despite himself and rested one on the glass, promising himself as he did so that the hand mark he left there would never be wiped away. Sirius beamed up at him, took another bow, then gathered his instrument and dashed away. Remus saw Sirius yank his phone out of his pocket as he rounded their driveway, and a second later his own phone lit up on the floor beside the bed.
He closed his eyes, let out a deep breath, and looked up at the slowly darkening dusk sky. This is real , he let it drift over him, warm against his frozen cheeks, frigid ears, numb fingers, you have this. You have him . And… Remus let out another deep exhale, and opened his eyes. And he has you. He dropped the paper onto the desk, dropped onto his bed face first, and let out a shaky laugh, then another. Then he propped himself onto his elbows, leaned over, and grabbed for his phone, scrolling up to read through the messages with a smile that softened, then bursting into laughter as he reached the multitude Sirius had managed to send in this short moment.
(5:37) I’m definitely allowed to say it now, right?
(5:37) Right right yes right?
(5:39) Marlene is being mean about my serenade and trying to make me insecure about it tell her Remus tell her
(5:39) Alice says you absolutely loved it awww thanks Moons <3 speaking of loving things and people and love and all that:
(5:40) Allowed right allowed yes?
(5:42) Alice is absolutely right that was one of the most surreal magnificent things I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing and speaking of pleasures:
(5:42) Nope. Not allowed.
(5:43) REMUS
(5:43) BOYFRIENDS CAN YOU BELIEVE
(5:43) REMUS
(5:44) WE
(5:44) US BOYFRIEND US
(5:45) VERY MUCH SO YES
(5:45) Is it some level of lame that we’re this gushy about this one date?
(5:45) Even as I type that and I’m DATE DATE DATE what are we
(5:46) Are you asking if we are TOO gushy about this because I am super punk rock and have never been too gushy about any single thing
(5:46) Oh right me too we can be chill about this we can
(5:47) Right yeah absolutely of course we can
(5:47) Right yes of course
(5:47) 100% no problem I have so much chill
(5:48) What are you up to then?
(5:48) I'M DATING A REALLY CUTE BOY TODAY I DATED HIM EARLIER AND I'M GOING TO DATE HIM MORE SOON AND MY SOUL HAS BEEN SMILING FOR DAYS AND * **** *** ** ****
(5:50) wow we’re that couple we’re the worst
(5:50) also blocked that counts
(5:51) I KNOW YOU’RE BEAMING BOYFRIEND also it was in code Remus you wouldn't take away from me this one single candle in the wind that lets me express the feelings that wildfire through me right?
(5:51) Candle extinguished
(5:52) Also I know you're not using code texting your friends so
(5:52) *our friends
(5:53) And OF COURSE I'M NOT they've had to deal with poems and songs and maybe some long crying wailing things by the fire
(5:54) Which I'm only telling you about because I know for a fact Peter is a rat and wrote into the card
(5:54) Aww Peter <3
(5:55) REMUS LUPIN HOW DO YOU CRUSH MY SOUL THIS WAY
(5:55) My fav drama queen
(5:56) AWWW I’M YOUR FAV I CALLED IT I CALLED IT YOUR FAV AND LOVE
(5:56) Oh wow this is awkward I was talking about Peter…
(5:58) hey remus it’s ted he’s sat on the table with his bags strewn all across the ground and wailing come on over if you’d like
(5:59) Hi Ted, sorry about that! I think he should be over here soon supposedly? Feel free to give him a nudge or you know a shove off the table or something
(6:00) will do my best
(6:03) BOYFRIEND CAN I NOT MOURN
(6:04) So I had a response but boyfriend I’m still
(6:04) <3
(6:05) ME TOO REMUS <3 I’M UP I’M UP I’LL BE THERE IN 5 FOR OUR DATE OUR DATE WE’RE DATING EACH OTHER WE’RE TOGETHER <3 <3 <3
(6:06) Looking forward to it boyfriend ~
(6:07) The drop in the ~ is because you can pretty much assume at this point that every single message you send has probably produced a smile?
(6:07) Every single one?
(6:07) All of them?
(6:08) Stop typing no no go get ready and you can say it in person over here
(6:08) Put the phone down boyfriend
(6:09) Good no typing say it in person
(6:14) Okay I’m finished I’m ready!
(6:14) It got dark fast wow
(6:15) Do you want to come over to Andy’s or should I come there or ?
(6:16) So I was kind of looking for hot chocolate in the pantry
(6:16) And we walked a lot and I sort of got tired
(6:16) And I think you can see where this is going?
(6:17) Are you on the floor in the pantry?
(6:17) I am indeed
(6:18) May I come help you up and accompany you on a date boyfriend?
(6:18) Do I have to move?
(6:19) Nah we could just have a super romantic date on the floor of the pantry always a classy option
(6:19) I’m
(6:19) <3
(6:20) Yes I can get on board with that
(6:20) <3 ME TOO SO MUCH LOTS <3
(6:21) Anything I should bring with me? Andy made some dessert thing but said you have to come have it here so she can “bask in the cute”
(6:22) I guess our plans are set for later then
(6:22) Or tomorrow? Maybe?
(6:23) Sorry I’m
(6:23) I may have overexerted just a bit with that walk and the cold
(6:24) I don’t think I have to say I loved every second of it though
(6:24) I’d say I’d do it again in a second but I might need a bit more time to rest?
(6:25) Sorry to have overexerted you Moony, I don’t think I have to reassure you that I loved every second (ahem twice as much ahem what who said that) and I’ll do it again in a second for both of us while you rest <3
(6:26) Aww so what you’re saying is
(6:26) You’d go on a date with yourself
(6:27) … You TRY to be romantic with this guy and he just
(6:27) <3
(6:27) Oh! Speaking of romantic!
(6:28) Want to come outside and see something brilliant?
(6:28) Naturally your response to me lying down and saying I can’t move is oh want to go outside and see something ~
(6:29) You’ll love it!!!
(6:29) I already do
(6:29) YOU WILL REMUS I PROMISE
(6:30) Where outside?
(6:30) I’m outside your door!
(6:30) But no pressure no rush take your time boyfriend I’m patient ~
(6:31) I’m chilling no hurry
(6:31) Get it chilling literally chilling
(6:31) Because it’s so cold get it Remus it’s chilly I’m chilling
(6:32) Take your time though really <3 maybe grab a scarf and gloves
(6:32) Sigh I’m up ~ gloves and scarf yes
(6:35) Take your time!! Was that you?
(6:35) I’m yeah just
(6:36) I’m standing by the door and I just how is there a universe where I can open the door and you’re behind it and how can that be the universe I’m in
Remus didn’t give Sirius a chance to type a response before he was taking a deep breath, twisting his hands together, tugging nervously at the large jumper again, and pulling the door open. He shivered in the sudden chill, pulling his scarf tighter even as a rapidly familiar tendril of warm joy curled up through his chest at the sight of Sirius grinning around a massive multi-coloured bouquet he was holding in front of him, breath billowing up in clouds and disappearing into the darkness beyond the dim porch light. Then Sirius was dropping his phone into his pocket and stepping aside, free hand lifting from behind the bouquet to gesture at the ground, and Remus furrowed his brows confusedly before leaning down to examine the blurry patch of lines on the scratched concrete at his feet. He crouched down, and the lines resolved into a strange arrangement of grass that - Sirius’ hand suddenly appeared in his periphery, and he looked up confusedly at Sirius’ questioning gaze then nodded. Sirius gently tilted his head to the side, and suddenly the grass was -
“A dragon.” Remus breathed, more a question than a statement, and Sirius gave a miniature bow.
“The classiest date, Remus.”
“But…” Remus couldn’t tear his eyes from the blades of grass, all picked so carefully and cut into different lengths, painstakingly arranged into a dragon with sweeping wings and short horns and sharp fangs.
“What’s wrong?” Sirius crouched down beside him, the bouquet suddenly taking up the space between them, and he made a face and held it away in his other hand.
Remus looked up at him, expression conflicted. “How do I keep it?”
Sirius grimaced. “I think you might not be able to keep it, even tape or something wouldn’t keep it in place, and this is all just luck that there hasn’t been a breeze in a few minutes, I had to redo it a few times.” As Remus’ face fell, Sirius hastened to add, “I could draw you a better one! I could - oh!” With another grimace, he shifted the flowers onto his other arm, then reached into the sleeve of the leather jacket and tugged out strange, bulky pens. “The plaster markers!” Sirius announced proudly. Remus rose slowly, and Sirius seemed to bound to his feet and offered an arm. “I believe you have a ceiling in need of some decorations of a dragon sort?” Remus smiled despite himself, looking down at the dragon mournfully again before nodding.
“Yes, please.” He linked his arm through Sirius’ shivering at the cold leather he could feel through the jumper sleeve, and they both stifled smiles as they stepped over the threshold. As the door clicked shut gently behind them and the light from the entryway narrowed into a beam, darkness fell on the arrangement of grass. An icy breeze swept across the concrete, and one by one, the grass blades were swept away into the weeds.
Sirius stepped in carefully, and taking the cue from Remus’ socked feet, leaned down to remove his boots, noticing a moment too late that their arms were still linked as Remus was pulled down alongside him. Remus laughed and pulled his arm gently away, reaching a hand up to gently brush across the strands Sirius had left loose when he’d retied his hair. James had assured him that this was the best possible hairdo now that Remus had seen it in a full bun up close, but their video call had been cut short by Dorcas sending 6 messages to advise him against anything James suggested, and then Peter had sent links to a whole different hair tutorial video… Oh, Remus said something. Sirius looked up guiltily to see Remus’ smile had turned fond, and as he looked away - what did he say, what did he say - his eyes caught on -
“Remus.” Sirius said slowly. “What is that ?”
Remus glanced down confused. “What do you mean?”
Sirius’ eyes narrowed, and he pointed at the scarf. “That. What. Is. That.”
Remus looked down at the scarf, and as he smiled, Sirius had to restrain himself from doing the same as indignancy welled. Then Remus smirked down at him, and the mock outrage rose again.
“You have a moon scarf? I - I thought I was - you let me just run with Moony and all along you had a moon scarf?” Remus waited for the tirade to end before tugging a hand from his pocket to wave down towards his socks, which were cream-coloured and soft-looking and speckled with crescents. “ Moon socks?” Sirius demanded. “Remus Lupin-” He couldn’t have held back the smile that burst to his face had his life depended on it as Remus leaned against the dusty coat rack beside him and began to laugh. “I call you Moony for weeks -”
“It was after.” Remus admitted with a shrug, biting his lip.
Sirius’ accusatory finger sank as his eyebrow rose. “After?”
Remus’ eyes were too innocently wide, and Sirius fought to stray into the distraction of following the hand that rose to run through those still glittering curls. “I bought them because of the Moony. Not coincidentally.”
Sirius’ battle turned to stifling the smile that was bursting to his face. “And you just keep this to yourself? After all those nights I texted you every single time I caught a glimpse of the moon?” Remus laughed, fingers brushing through his curls again, and Sirius crossed his arms. “I was pacing one of those times, back and forth past the window, I texted you every single time I caught a glimpse of the moon and here you are with your moon merch and you mums the word!” He forced a huff and a pout through his grin, and turned away as Remus laughed harder, the warmth flaring through him again.
The entryway was small, like Andy’s, but while Andy had hung portraits, strung lights, and painted lighter shades onto the dark wood, this house seemed almost oppressively dark and barren. The smile slipped from his face slightly at the thought that this was where Remus spent all of his time, that he didn’t have anywhere else to go and that even here, he was made to feel unwanted, made to feel wrong and -
“It’s not much, I know.” Remus said quietly from beside him, and Sirius turned to see his face had grown somber too. There was an urgent and immediate need to vanquish that expression right away, and he grabbed the enormous bouquet from where he’d placed it on the side table by the door and brandished it.
“The entire orchestra thanks you for making our first night’s performance brilliant, boyfriend. Thank you for making sure Ontario got to see the very best of us.” Remus bit his lip and smiled, reaching out to gently stroke the orange petals on the side, and his eyes were bright when they met Sirius’.
“Thank you to the entirety of the Hogwarts Orchestra then.”
Sirius grinned. “Oh, and Andy thanks you too.”
Remus reached out with his other hand to run his fingers against a rose, then looked up at Sirius again. “Why Andy?”
“Well, you can’t well mysteriously acquire a giant bouquet in this house, I’m assuming. Andy said if you don’t think that goes over well that she has a vase prepared in her front window, where you can see it. That way, she gets a bouquet and you get one too!” Remus’ eyes seemed to be filling rapidly, and Sirius quickly placed the flowers on the side table again before tugging an envelope from the pocket of his jacket. “Also!” Remus wiped discreetly at his eyes, then reached out for the envelope, smiling at him as he turned it over and spotted the stripes of neon rainbows and stickers that peppered it. He had only tugged lightly at the sticker-taped flap when Sirius’ hand covered his, eyes wide. “Wait!” Remus raised an eyebrow, a smirk slowly spreading across his face, and Sirius quickly assumed a casual expression. “I just mean, why don’t you save that for later, read it when you’re, you know, alone, or - or if you…” Remus raised the other eyebrow and his smirk widened, and Sirius reached down and brandished the plaster markers again. “Don’t we have a date to resume, a ceiling to be dragon-ed?” Remus gave a sigh, grinning at him before dropping the envelope down beside the bouquet and holding out a hand to him, and Sirius beamed before winding his fingers through Remus’ long thin ones and following him down the hall.
Remus spun his desk chair back and forth slowly, leaning back and taking a deep breath as he turned, once again, to take in the surreal sight that was Sirius Black in his bedroom, standing on the corner of his desk and pulling markers from his sleeves to scrawl on his ceiling, glancing down at him every so often with a bright, cheery grin that seemed to kindle a bright happiness inside him and flare a smile onto his lips. There was a level of his mind that couldn’t seem to put this together, like a castle of cards that kept falling apart before it could straighten, how to comprehend that this wonderful boy who had been keeping him sane for months and who made him feel warm and happy and safe and important and who… loved him , how this beautiful, talented, clever, funny, kind boy could even be real, and how he could be dating Remus, could be here in his house with him, on a date with him, grinning down at him, with a bright beaming smile and grey gleaming eyes and soft dark hair and strong shoulders and - Remus tore his eyes away from where they were tracing down Sirius’ dark leather jacket and covered his face yet again as he felt it burning, just like his heart seemed to be, his palms, his -
“Voila!” Sirius waved dramatically, and Remus rose from his chair to cross the tiny distance between them and completely unnecessarily bat at Sirius’ leg, shivering inwardly at the solid jeans at his fingertips and curling his fingers into a fist to prevent him from reaching out again. “Well?” Sirius gestured proudly, and Remus tore his gaze from the glimmer of earring from behind the dark strands and looked up. And stared. He tilted his head, then looked up at Sirius in confusion.
“What?”
Sirius seemed to be suppressing laughter as he waved him onto the desk with him. “Have a closer look.”
That accent, just - Remus clambered onto the desk much less gracefully, and had to hunch once standing below the cracked ceiling, but at this distance it looked the same. Rather than drawing on the ceiling, he could see now that Sirius had been drawing along the wall, strange yellow circles grouped together and shaded oddly, up and down and back and forth with no discernible pattern. He turned to look at Sirius in confusion, and was met with a proud smirk. “What is it? Tell me!” Remus demanded, and Sirius opened his mouth to explain before promptly bursting into laughter. Remus turned back to trace the dots with his fingers again, bewildered. Yellow circles? Stars? They weren’t stars, they were just groups of dots along the wall, clusters of yellow spots.
“Get it?” Sirius choked out between barks of laughter. “It - your wall - and it -” Remus furrowed his eyebrows, thoroughly confused, and trying not be distracted by Sirius leaning against his wall in peals of laughter even as it brought a rush of joy. Then Sirius burst out, “Soulmates, Remus, and the wall -”
“Oh my God.” Remus whirled to look at the wall, and the dots arranged themselves in his mind. Heads of corn, curving across his wall. Corn. On the wall. Soulmates. Sirius was gasping at his own hilarity, and Remus allowed himself a drawn out groan before he laughed. Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. And Sirius reached out to tug at Remus’ hand even as he wiped at his eyes, and there was a blazing fondness inside his chest, he wanted so much in this moment, wanted to brush Sirius’ hair away from his eyes, to lean against the wall and laugh with him, to pull him in - I can, Remus realized with a rush of exhilaration, I can do that. He tightened their linked fingers for only a moment, allowed a second to worry about how thick the sweaters and shelved tank tops he was wearing underneath were, then yanked the still chuckling Sirius forward and against him. There was a brief flare of panic - what are you doing what are you doing you can’t you can’t he’s going to feel he’ll realize he’ll be he’s going to - before Sirius’ hand dropped from his as his arms rose to wrap around Remus’ lower back and his face turned into Remus’ shoulder, hair soft against his neck. Remus’ jumper shifted as Sirius took a breath, then stopped.
“Still not allowed?” Sirius whispered, and Remus breathed a laugh, afraid to move or speak or do anything that might shatter this moment, this reality, this person. Sirius let out a sigh that warmed Remus’ neck and made him shudder, then murmured, “You should know I’ve been planning that for a solid week.” Remus raised a hand very slowly to tug at Sirius’ hair with another huff of laughter.
“You did not.”
Sirius laughed quietly. “You can’t imagine how hard it was to keep from texting you the idea.”
“That’s-” The desk creaked beneath them and they pulled apart, Sirius’ eyes wide as he looked down at it. Remus smirked and dropped easily to his feet, raising an eyebrow as Sirius clambered onto the desk chair to help himself down, leaning against the desk and grinning up at him defiantly. Remus stepped forward carefully to lean against the desk beside him, feeling as he did, a sudden sweeping of discomfort swept over him, a warning to back away, to ease off. He hunched his shoulders minutely and dropped his gaze to the ground, muttering quickly, “That - that’s how I know you just thought of it.”
“I guess you’re right,” Sirius said casually, something strange about the way he spoke causing Remus to look up. He was smirking smugly, disproportionate to the situation in such a ridiculously fitting way that something seemed to loosen along Remus’ spine, seemed to cool beneath his skin. “It did kind of come to me just like that .” He snapped his fingers between them, looking up at Remus eagerly. Remus stared at him confusedly, and Sirius took a small step forward. There was something off about his expression, a laugh just behind the innocent eyes and raised brows. Sirius hummed, then snapped his fingers again. “Just like that , you know?” The realization dawned gradually, and Sirius’ eyes brightened with amusement as Remus’ eyes narrowed.
“Are you making fun of me?”
Sirius very unsuccessfully turned a bark of laughter into a cough. “Making fun of what, boyfriend? I’m just snapping here,” Sirius punctuated his words with another deliberate snap of his fingers, “not doing anything special, just this everyday snap that anyone could do-” He dissolved into laughter at Remus’ scowl, and Remus bit back a soft smile at the way Sirius’ entire body seemed to curve into his unrestrained laughs. He felt an inexplicable rush of gratitude for the incredible friends who had allowed Sirius to be this person, fully himself and more, the same bright presence Remus clung to each night until his eyes slipped shut and reached for every morning before they'd fully opened. And somehow, surreal as it was, that presence was here with him, manifested into a beautiful boy with shining eyes and a beaming smile and a warm heart, a boy who made him feel safe, made him feel important, made him feel… loved.
“Moon socks,” Sirius murmured fondly, and Remus grinned down at him.
“And glasses.” Remus added helpfully, laughing at the immediate outraged exclamation.
“Glasses!” Sirius cast his eyes about wildly, spotting them on the chair beside the bed, resting on Remus’ phone, and grabbing them. “Glasses, please, boyfriend.” Remus gave a wave and bow before sweeping them dramatically onto his face, and as Sirius burst into applause, he felt any remaining tensions scatter away into nothing. Sirius reached back to lift himself onto the surface of the desk, swinging his legs endearingly as he looked up at Remus with a smile that brought a flush to his cheeks. “Did you change your jumper?”
Remus glanced down absently, more an excuse to tear his eyes away from Sirius’ far too admiring ones and instead focus on the rich curve of the accent that had been flitting sparks through his mind since the very first word. Sirius cleared his throat amusedly, and Remus shifted to lean against the bed behind him. “Right, um, no, I was just - I was just wearing a couple more on top.”
“It is getting pretty hot,” Sirius commented, sliding off the desk and beginning to unzip the leather jacket. “Where should I hang this?”
“You can just set it on the dresser. Did you want something to drink, or-?”
Remus glanced over to ensure he hadn’t left anything too embarrassing out on the dresser, which would be difficult considering the number of times he’d scrutinized every object left out in the room. He turned back to say something, but the words died in his throat at the sight that met him, and he whirled back around and buried his face in his hands. Several streams of disjointed words whirled through his head alongside a buzzing heat of some sort that seemed to have awakened beneath his skin.
“What are you doing?” Sirius’ voice was hesitant and curious, and Remus’ was muffled by his fingers when he responded, eyes still firmly shut.
“I’m reminding myself that I had accepted the possibility you were going to kill me in this house and that I already came to terms with it.” Sirius’ laugh sounded closer now, and Remus’ fingers covered his eyes more firmly. “I don’t see any other objective besides my death that would lead you to… that , Sirius I’m - just -” He made an unintelligible strangled sound in his throat, kept his eyes closed as he raised a hand to vaguely gesture wildly, then covered his face again. “You come into my house, you wear a - a -”
“Did you even catch what’s written on it before you sentenced yourself to-” Sirius broke off with a laugh at Remus’ fervent shushing as he dropped his hands but kept his eyes closed.
“Sirius, I can - okay, I can’t with any of this but there’s no way I can do your accent and that… both at the same time, you need to pick one or the other and -”
There was an audible smirk in Sirius’ voice, and a rustling of fabric. “Sure, I’ll lose the crop top.” Remus’ eyes flew open.
“Don’t you dare!” He cried in panic, to find Sirius sitting cross legged on the ground in front of him, laughing and dropping the shirt again. He shook his head, looking up at the ceiling. “Sirius, I’m-” Remus felt the heat under his skin flare when he looked down, at the shirt that fluttered around a softer abdomen than he’d expected, at jeans that were lower waisted than he’d been able to see, at - “Amended response,” Remus murmured weakly, “I’m actually already dead, so.”
Sirius laughed, and reached up to take his hand with a bashful smile. “We’re allowed amended response out loud then?” Remus nodded quickly and locked his eyes onto the bright spots of corn Sirius had painted onto the wall and determinedly did not look down even as he brushed his thumb against Sirius’ knuckles, as his heart beat loudly in his ears, want want want . “It doesn’t seem fair to get that when somehow my fluster powers don’t work out loud.” Remus grinned despite himself, still tracing the corn across the border between the wall and ceiling.
“Does it occur to you maybe you’re not quite as smooth as you think you are?” His teasing question was met with silence, and Remus looked down in worry, only to find Sirius smiling a slow, sultry smirk that immediately brought a dark flush to his cheeks, almost instantly matched by Sirius’ own.
“At least we’re together in that too.” Sirius murmured, eyes bright, and Remus nodded slowly, trying to keep his eyes up, eyes up Lupin .
“We seem to be together in… a lot of ways.” Sirius grinned at Remus’ soft almost-question. Remus’ chest was beginning to feel thick, heart beating too fast, and he took a shallow breath, then another. “Not…” He trailed off, looking down at their linked hands as he took another breath. Sirius squeezed their joint hands.
“Go on, boyfriend.”
“I… I’m… it’s not, it’s not kitkat, but I…” Sirius’ grip immediately loosened as his eyes widened slightly, expression softened.
“I can turn around? Just for a bit?” Remus couldn’t bring himself to nod, couldn’t bring himself to take a bigger breath or slow his racing heart or cool his burning skin, and there was a moment of fury at himself that he had to be this, right now, to ruin this perfect moment with - Sirius tilted his head down to catch Remus’ eye, flashed him a smile, then gently pulled his hand away, to turn, back towards Remus, and run a hand through his hair. Remus felt a jolt of burning shame, a surge of guilt and frustration, but even in that moment Sirius, voice light and casual, began.
“So, the last time we were in detention. Officially, it was put on record as ‘attempted tampering with groundskeeper's equipment,’ which frankly I found really offensive-” Remus felt a wavering smile break onto his face even as his heart raced, and he took a deep breath, and clasped his hands together, already missing Sirius’ fingers between his as Sirius’ voice dropped conspiratorially. “Frank has a whole thing, by the way, about use of his name as a word, but he uses mine all the time and it’s not even as close so -” Remus let out a breathy laugh, heart rate quieting in his ears. No wonder no story was ever told to completion over texts, if he couldn’t even manage in person. Sirius seemed to get that message, the grin evident in his voice as he went on. “Right, so ‘attempted,’ obviously they’re trying to make it seem like we didn’t manage to properly tamper with the equipment? And that’s really unfair considering we managed to get it almost all the way across the grounds.” Remus’ breathing was evening out, and he felt the knot in his chest loosening, dropping away, head clearing. Sirius’ indignant protest brought a soft smile to his face as he added, “There’s nothing attempted about that, the tampering definitely happened, they’re not giving us nearly enough credit.” Sirius tilted his head back slightly, voice thoughtful. “And speaking of tampering, or tampering with the homes of ancient entities that should be feared and respected... We never found out what was under the bed.”
“Can I-” Remus began hesitantly, and Sirius responded immediately.
“Yes.”
Remus raised an eyebrow, and Sirius seemed to pick up on it with his eyes closed as he huffed and clarified. “I just meant…” Sirius waved a hand through the air in search of an excuse, then dropped it. “Yes. I meant yes, you can.”
Remus felt his heart rate pick up as he rose from the bed, and he took a deep breath before stepping over Sirius’ knee, avoiding looking down at the sliver of skin above his knee where the material was torn, and dropped to sit cross legged across from him.
Sirius let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and immediately turned to wracking his brains at what he’d just said as he’d poured words out, trying to make this moment less on Remus, because surreal as it was, that was something he could do in person now, sitting in his boyfriend’s room, the place he spent so much time, and existing in this same space as him. There was a moment of quiet as they both looked at each other, then Remus’ eyes dropped to his shorn shirt again and a bashful smile on his lips bloomed a grin onto Sirius’.
“Shut up.” Remus said with dignity, looking away over Sirius’ shoulder, and he shrugged, stifling another grin as Remus’ eyes followed the motion. He thought back on the train ride, when he’d paced and shifted and fidgeted as he constantly reminded himself in a mantra of sorts that Remus already liked him , that he likes me he likes me he likes me we’re dating and that he would not mess this up, but chanting at himself that Remus liked him… it was so, so different from the way it was somehow made so obvious, in his presence, that Remus really, truly did. The way he unconsciously seemed to drift closer to him as they stood or sat, the near-constant smile, the warmth and fondness and exasperation in his eyes, in his voice, in his touch. Sirius felt he could almost cloak himself in it to hide from anything dark that might rise up. As Remus raised a nervous hand to fidget at his jumper again, Sirius wondered whether it was possible he made Remus feel this… liked .
“Hey.” Remus looked up at him from where he’d been glaze-eyed at the crop top again, and Sirius took a second to thank Peter again in his head for insisting on this one. The streaks of purple supposedly brought out the grey in his eyes, and especially with the eyeliner he’d reapplied - what had he been trying to ask? Another question resurfaced as he was trying to remember, and he let the question out without forming it first, so that it ended up as, “You said… when you- I had… you said you were... keeping track. Of the hearts I send you, did you -”
“293.” Remus said without missing a beat, biting his lip and looking away at the look Sirius couldn’t begin to guess was on his face as his heart swelled even bigger, in the far too narrow cavity of his chest, and a warmth seemed to sweep through his palms. Beaming, he thought distantly at the unique pain in his face, I’m beaming.
“I love you.”
The words were breathed out before he thought about them, and he froze as Remus jerked back as if shocked, and the apology was stammering out before he was aware his mouth had opened again, a pulsing regret warring with a flaring satisfaction in his head. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Remus, I didn’t - I told you, I’m always - with our friends, we say it a lot, for - for everything, I promise, so it - it just… happened, but I - not that I - well…” Remus’ eyes were wide and looked terrified, and his shoulders had tensed again, as if readying for an escape. “Listen, I - I’m sorry, I can - I erase it when I type it, I always do, but out loud it’s just - harder. To - because I…” Remus seemed to be leaning away, and he changed tactics, “Sorry, sorry, okay, yes, I won’t, I won’t. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable Remus, you… you said not to, and I won’t. I won’t.” Remus’ fingers were white where they were wound together tightly, and Sirius growled at himself inwardly even as he very slowly reached for them, waiting until Remus had given a barely there nod before he eased Remus’ hands apart and wound their fingers together gently. Remus bit his lip again, went to speak, then shook his head tightly, and Sirius spoke quickly. “Do you want to change the subject? We can, we can talk about - about something else.” Remus didn’t meet his eyes as he nodded quickly.
“Sorry, I - sorry.” The embarrassment colouring Remus’ murmur was certainly the wrong kind, and Sirius ducked his head, hair falling forward again as he brushed it away, meeting Remus’ gaze.
“ I’m sorry.”
Remus took a sudden, deep breath, then burst out, “But when you…” He trailed away, and Sirius rubbed his thumb against the soft palm.
“When I?” He encouraged gently.
Remus shut his eyes tightly, and his words were hurried together. “When you say it with them it’s… it’s as friends not…” He took another quick breath, eyes still closed, and his grip on Sirius’ hand tightened. “It’s not, you know. And so… When you say it to me, it’s… is it the…” His voice got quieter and quieter until it trailed off, and he shuddered when Sirius tightened his grip on their hands. Remus blinked his eyes open, still looking down, then breathed, “This is a lot easier over text.”
“Not that much easier.” Sirius said mournfully, and Remus gave a shaky laugh, then cleared his throat quietly.
“In that case, um, amended response. Can I ask you something about my… the thing you drew me… on the napkin?” He pointed at the desk, where Sirius could now see the Wendy’s napkin held in place by several multi-coloured pebbles, and he felt a burst of pride as he turned back to face him.
“Amendment respected,” Sirius said seriously, before quickly adding, “But yes, when I say it to you, it’s the other one.” Remus’ shoulders seemed to loosen at the word, and he dropped his head to hide his face, and Sirius allowed himself a fleeting smile as a rush of intangible excitement ricocheted through him, then went on. “So, napkin art from our second date, that second date we went on before this, our third date, right right, I think I can remember that, it was a while ago so I might need a refresh but sure, what can I answer? About that art? From our second date that we went on together as a date because we’re in fact dating and had a second date?”
Remus raised his head to bite his lip and smirk, and Sirius quickly slammed down on the urge to lean very far forward and do the same. He couldn’t prevent himself from watching as the chapped lips faded from the bitten to white to red again, or as they curved into a nervous smile. His voice was very hesitant when he spoke, and his eyes dropped to their linked hands again. “You were saying that you… the things about my hair and my… just… the way I look…” Sirius very considerately did not pipe in the “that you’re hot” that was streaming forwards through his head. “And that you said you… you know… liked that…” Don’t interrupt him, Black, that’s not what he needs right now, shut up, shut up, stop staring at his eyes and his curls and his - focus. “But I…” Remus seemed to struggle with himself a moment, his fingers tightening and loosening between Sirius’ before he quietly murmured. “Can I have a hug?” He was already leaning forward, and there was a moment as their knees collided when Sirius wondered whether some magnet apart from the Cornwall destiny one was physically yanking them together, because he was certain if he tried to lean back in this moment, he would disintegrate. A few seconds later, melting into this warm hug that seemed to be seeping contentment through his skin, he wondered if he might disintegrate into this instead. Remus breathed out into his shoulder, and his words were muffled but distressed when he spoke. “I don’t want to do this right now, I’m sorry, but I just…” He began to lean back, and Sirius let go immediately, though when the cold rushed in to fill his place and he saw the way Remus’ shoulders had stiffened again, he had to lock his fingers onto his elbows to keep from pulling him in again.
“Just… you… you say those things… about the way I… look. And - and you say that, and maybe you… maybe you think you’re being honest, b-but-” Remus’ voice grew tighter and tighter, and when it broke, he clenched his jaw and hunched inwards further, raising his knees to place his arms onto and bury his face in. Sirius felt a resounding hollowing from the cavern in his chest, and his fingers curled tighter around his elbows with the urge to reach out. He exhaled, long and deep, and his tone was steady even as his voice wavered.
“You want me to give it to you objectively?”
There was a long moment when Sirius thought he might not respond, before Remus murmured, muffled, “You don’t have any objectivity to give.”
Sirius straightened, forced his fingers to loosen with his tone. “Wrong. You’re forgetting one of the many incredible features of your boyfriend, Remus, and that’s the artist perspective.” Remus let out a quiet huff that may have contained amusement, and Sirius took it in stride. “So, artistically.” Remus didn’t straighten, didn’t raise his head from his arms, and Sirius felt the urge for the thousandth time to run a hand through the glittering curls, to cup his cheek and slowly raise his head to meet his eyes, to - Focus, Black . “Well, first off, artistically you have a great arse.” Remus’ head shot up, and Sirius waved a hand quickly. “That was just to get you to look up, ignore me, ignore me.” He tilted his head, then clarified quietly. “Well, ignore that, listen to this.”
Remus’ voice was shaky when he asked, “Is this the cliche part when you - you say I’m... beautiful on the inside?”
Sirius scoffed. “Forget inside, boyfriend, that killer sarcasm, the brilliant mind and wit and the lame humour, they’re givens for the inside.” Remus gave a shaky smile, and Sirius felt a leap inside him as he went on. “I mean, I’m here caught on the hot undercut and gorgeous eyes and that nose and the cute ears-”
“Cute ears ?” Remus interjected, but Sirius hadn’t paused.
“I’ll leave out the glasses but know they’re on the list twice, know that. I’d start on the mouth, but-”
Remus edged over to sit beside him, and pushed a shoulder against his gently with a laugh. Sirius grinned at him, and Remus closed his eyes for a moment and leaned against his shoulder, then, with a deep breath, turned to face him, his eyes beseeching as he leaned closer.
Sirius’ gaze softened, and he very slowly lifted a hand toward Remus. His chest thudded and expanded when Remus, without breaking his gaze, gave a tremulous nod. Remus’ eyes fluttered shut as Sirius’ fingers landed on his cold cheek, and for a moment both their hearts beat thunderously in their ears, just barely out of synch. Remus’ warm breath wafted across Sirius’ face, a smile creeping across his lips, and Sirius’ blood was rushing through his ears and singing in his thrumming fingertips. Remus tilted his head, leaning into Sirius’ palm and sending a shiver through both of them. “You’re so, so beautiful on the inside, Remus.” Sirius’ voice wavered, but Remus’ voice was steady.
“Thanks, my liver’s blushing.” Sirius let out an exasperated laugh, higher pitched as his emotions vibrated beneath his skin at Remus’ proximity, pitching higher when Remus leaned forward slowly, rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius let out a shaky breath, and it caught in his throat as Remus wound their fingers together between them.
Without Remus’ eyes on him, he blinked hard and fast, bit his lip. “Remus, when we… before this, when it was texting, you didn't have an outside. I had - I had everything else. And you know, I still do, the sarcastic, witty, lazy, adorable, resilient, strong incredible boy, the one that I fell in-” Sirius’ eyes widened, Remus’ hand tightening around his, and he hastily corrected, “that - um, that I started dating. Started dating, yeah, him. You're - you’re him, Remus, whatever you might look like, and I Io-” He caught himself again with a grimace, then looking up mournfully the ceiling, squeezing Remus’ hand and murmuring, “You're making this so much harder than it has to be, you know I’m saying it in my head.” He felt a spike of worry in his chest as Remus leaned back to raise his head, and it seemed to freeze in his chest at the sight of the tear tracks on his cheeks, then burn as Remus began to speak in a halting, strained whisper.
“Even… even you had to draw me abstract because physical would've been… would’ve…”
“Shhh, nope, no.” Sirius gripped Remus’ hand tighter, and made his tone even, clear. “I drew you as abstract because I wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible.” He ducked his head to meet Remus’ gaze. “Drawing your gorgeous head wasn't the way to do that.” There was a tremulous laugh, a soft huffed breath, then Sirius pulled Remus closer, head resting on his shoulder, and Sirius let the smirk creep into voice. “And I cheated.”
There was a moment of silence, then Remus lifted his head. “What?”
Sirius let the suppressed laughter in his voice up. “I cheated.”
Remus’ eyebrows furrowed and he pulled away slightly to meet Sirius’ eyes again. “I don't understand.” Sirius grinned and leaned towards the desk to grab the napkin. Remus made an aborted motion, and Sirius paused to raise an eyebrow.
Remus dropped his hands to his lap and looked down at them, mumbling, “Be careful .”
Sirius laughed, but gently slid it towards him, sweeping it off the desk and onto Remus' leg and smoothing it down, neither of them making eye contact as they both shivered. Sirius traced the sweeping purple lines on the edges that curved in and out, then nodded. “See?”
Remus tore his eyes from the earring glinting behind Sirius’ hair, and glanced down to trace the curves with his own finger, smiling softly as he followed them into the flurrying spirals that wove into the center, then around the swirling wing-shaped pen strokes to the left, feeling a dazed joy that this was him , that Sirius had looked at him and known him and had smiled and drawn… this. Sirius cleared his throat, sounding amused, and Remus’ head snapped up.
“Sorry? Um, no, right, I - what am I seeing?”
Sirius felt a flare of warmth, of bright sparking pride. If he never drew anything else ever again, he would have drawn this, had drawn Remus and brought him this quiet gentle happiness. He let the warmth spill onto his face in a messy grin, and dramatically flourished his hand at the edge of the napkin. “There, see? Your curls.” Remus opened his mouth, and Sirius’ finger darted from the swirls to the current across the center. “That dazzling curve there is your smile, see? Wide and sunshine, edge of that canine, which wow yours are sharp.” Remus’ smile was widening, and Sirius followed the shapes down to the bright green lines. “That right there: your magnificent left eyebrow. Over here, your eye, gold of course, as your eyes are the goldest.”
“My eyes are brown.”
Remus grinned as Sirius shot up indignantly. “First of all, Remus Lupin, they are at most hazel, how dare you, sir.” Remus laughed, and Sirius determinedly did not smile as he went on loftily. “Furthermore, these are my boyfriend’s eyes and I won't stand for you belittling them. Third of all-”
“I don’t think there was a second of all.” Remus said thoughtfully.
“Third. Of. All.” Sirius repeated loudly, grabbing Remus’ fingers to bring them to crimson strokes at the top of the napkin, “There’s the edge of your nose, and there’s your cheek.” Remus turned his hand to wind his fingers into Sirius’ against the napkin, and neither of them could suppress the grins that broke onto their faces. Sirius finally looked up, and expression softened. “You're all through it, boyfriend. But you can see yourself when you look for you, so you don't have to look for you unless you want to. Me? I do. Either way, though, that… It’s you. It’s you, to me. And that’s why it’s beautiful.” He looked down to trace his finger along the edge again, then glanced up to see Remus turning away, eyes swimming. Sirius tugged the napkin away quickly, placing it back on the desk and turning back just in time to have his hand dropped as he was tugged into a hug again.
Remus shook his head again at the sound of another distant thud, a smile tugging at his lips as he pulled himself higher on the couch, then called, “Everything alright in there?”
“Doubting me, boyfriend!” Sirius called back, just before the sound of another thud issued from the kitchen and a hasty shuffling sound that made Remus grin.
“Never, boyfriend, maybe just wondering what you could be doing in there for this long and with so many… interesting sounds.” Remus was sure the smirk was evident in his voice, and made it evident on his face a moment later when Sirius ducked his head through the doorway, eyes narrowed. He lifted his fingers to his eyes, jabbed them at Remus, then ducked out again, and Remus laughed, loud enough for it to carry. “Amended then, I’m in breathless anticipation - don’t! ” He added quickly as Sirius barked a laugh, and he rolled his eyes fondly and settled back against the couch, letting his head fall back to look at the ceiling as he so often did in this room, if in an entirely different world than this one. He let his gaze fall on the old fashioned winding light fixture by the entryway, the one he’d drawn dust patterns into just a few days ago, then looked back towards the kitchen, where he could just make out Sirius enthusiastically humming a tune he couldn’t identify. How was this the same light fixture he’d trudged past in the dark night after night, the same light fixture he’d tapped dully while staring blankly out the window waiting for his dad to return from work, the same light fixture that was now sitting just steps away from an enormous colourful bouquet that his boyfriend Sirius Black had brought into his house, had carried in with his own hands, had - He let his eyes close and took a deep breath. The same light fixture, the same room, the same house, the same life he’d lived yesterday, and today it was… this.
“Okay!” Sirius declared from the other room, and a smile tugged at Remus’ lips as he opened his eyes to find Sirius ducking into the room and raising two mugs into the air, looking altogether too pleased for someone who had just spent around half an hour making “instant” hot chocolate.
He took a cautious sip as Sirius waved him on encouragingly, then froze, eyes widening.
“It’s…” Remus credited himself for managing to hold the expression for several long seconds before he burst into laughter, mouth twisting at the flavour. Sirius scowled until he took a sip of his own, and Remus’ laughter was renewed at Sirius’ immediate choking cough and dive for a napkin, which he used to wipe at his tongue.
“What is that?” Sirius demanded, staring at the mug as if expecting a creature to burst from the murky depths of whatever substance he’d managed to produce in that kitchen.
Remus held the mug closer to his face, closed his eyes and hummed thoughtfully, then nodded and looked down at Sirius’ expectant expression.
“Not hot chocolate.” He said gravely, and Sirius snatched the mug from him, set it down carefully, then shoved him lightly, his voice mournful when he glanced back at the full mugs.
“I did it the same way Peter always does. Maybe I could video call him for - oh! Andy had said to come over for food if we get the chance, she said she’s never gotten to feed you and really wanted to and - and you know, other reasons.”
Remus nodded thoughtfully. “I was promised a hot chocolate for this third date, wasn’t I? And this’ll be a great opportunity to finally hear that garden story Andy’s been promising to tell me…” Sirius bolted upright on the couch, finger flying from where they’d been tracing along the couch edge to point accusingly at Remus.
“Boyfriend!” The excitement had to wear off at some point, but it definitely hadn’t yet, Remus grinned, and Sirius’ voice was indignant as he waved in the vague direction of the house next door. “We’re dating ! That means you’re automatically on my side now, every single time, forever! Which means when Andy tries to betray me with-”
“Stories about your first time flying a kite?” Remus suggested innocently, lasting an impressive two seconds before he succumbed into laughter at Sirius’ outraged expression as he leapt from the couch.
“She did not!”
“It was such a long drive, you know?” Remus sighed, “Andy was too kind to let it get awkward and silent.” Sirius dropped onto the couch and buried his face in his hands with a groan, and Remus laughed as he leaned forward to wrap an arm around his shoulders. Sirius smiled softly into his fingers for a moment, Remus’ arm around his shoulders warm and firm, then sat up slowly to not dislodge it, pointing at Remus again.
“Alright, next ground rules then: no flustering me in front of Andy.”
“No flustering you?” Remus’ face went thoughtful for a moment, but there was a mischievous gleam to his eyes that made Sirius wary even before he spoke. “So don’t tell Andy about how I want to ask you to recite every last one of my favourite poems and stories and read me the dictionary to bed each night?” Sirius wondered, for a moment, if it was possible to burst of affection, and Remus took this pause to continue in his thoughtful tone. “Isn't this where you'd be the one to ask why I'm already thinking about us and bed at night?” Sirius’ blush was immediate and he sputtered for a moment before looking away as Remus laughed. Even as Sirius willed his cheeks to cool and studied the far wall’s peeling border, Remus’ smirk was clear and deliberate out loud. “I’m going to have to talk to James to get an accurate read on how often you're blushing when you text me, aren’t I?” Remus raised an eyebrow as Sirius whirled around again.
“Speaking of which!”
Remus tilted his head. “Speaking of James?” Sirius shook his head, grinning smugly.
“Speaking of blushing, I believe I was promised another alarm.” Remus leaned back against the couch, stifling a smile.
“I don’t remember any such promises.”
“Come on, please?” Sirius asked, tilting his head down and widening his eyes. “For your boyfriend?” Remus groaned loudly and bit down his laugh, pretending to mull it over.
“I suppose , just for one alarm.”
Sirius leapt up from the couch to triumphantly snatch the phone from the end, raising it into the air to emphasize the click of the volume button to sound. He bounded back onto the cushion, looking eagerly between Remus and the phone, ever a puppy as he’d said, and Remus let the laugh burst out. “Should I at least check there’s even an alarm anytime soon?” Sirius nodded emphatically, grinning from the phone to Remus back and forth, and Remus laughed as he unlocked his phone and checked, and had to bite back a downright cackle. Fighting to keep his voice even, he murmured, “Yup, there’s - there’s one coming up.” Sirius was practically bouncing up and down by now, face lit with glee, and Remus allowed himself to bask in it even as he sat up in anticipation. Sirius leapt up as the first note sounded and yelped at the “3 Steps to the Left” that appeared on the screen, and Remus bit his lip as the familiar deep bass tones of Let’s Groove Tonight began to issue, then buried his face in his hands to laugh when Sirius dropped heavily onto the couch with his eyes closed. His mouth opened and closed once, and Remus’ laughter was even louder when he finally managed, “... Boyfriend.”