Chapter Text
I wish I could each out to you like I used to. I don’t know what I’m becoming of myself, but I hate it so much.
I want to see you again.
She stared at the newly written words, putting her pen down on her bedsheets as she sat up straight.
That would have to do for now. It's not like Tree would want to read something crazy long or anything. Would he even want to read this at all? He probably doesn’t want anything to do with her seeing how she ignored him all those times he tried to help. Why did she even do that?
She held the piece of paper with two hands, debating whether she should even bother or not.
Giving in, she let out a breath and folded the paper into two. She turned over to the edge of her bed, throwing her legs over the side and dangling them there for a few moments.
She stood up, walking over to her door and placing one hand on the knob, stopping herself for a second time.
It’ll be fine, she can leave it outside his room and come back. It wont take too long. She told herself the same things repeatedly, hoping they would stick.
Twisting the knob, she looked at the ground as the door creaked open.
She wondered what Tree was doing.
———
Tree sat at his desk, fiddling with his pencil with one hand.
What would he even write? She would probably hate him for trying to reach out to her yet again.
Sometimes people just need a break from everything, and that’s okay.
She just needs a break from everything, Tree included. He hated how much he worried for her, despite knowing there was no reason to. It’s not like she was exactly… Extroverted to begin with, it just felt wrong for her to completely shut out the world like that.
He didn’t want to dismiss Black Hole’s advice, but if this carries on he feels he might have to approach her in person, and that’s a lot scarier than sending her a note.
He groaned, letting the pencil slip from his hands and roll along the table. He put his face in his hands.
Why did he have to care so much for someone who hardly even likes being around him?
It was so painful to bear, and he felt as if his heart had been sucked into an endless vortex deep inside his chest.
He referred to his memories, looking for any sort of past advice to push him through this awful feeling. It was kind of pathetic how he always went to others for his own personal problems, as if he couldn’t solve them himself.
Go for a walk. He heard that a lot but always shrugged it off as something better said than done. Last time he tried walking with a full mind he came back feeling worse than he originally was.
But he had no better way to let out his emotions, did he?
Fresh air would help him, anyway. He had always loved going out for fresh air, feeling it against his skin and waving through his hair.
He pushed his chair back, standing up in front of his desk.
The walk from his room out to the front of the hotel was fairly calm, with occasional encounters with other people he hardly spoke to.
As he stepped outside, he looked out at the sky, admiring the clouds and their various shapes.
From the corner of his eye, he noticed someone approaching nearby. Any usual person would get an awkward look, but Black Hole received a nod and a small smile back from Tree as he slowed his walking to a halt.
“Doing okay?” Black Hole asked, putting one hand in his pocket after speaking.
Tree gave him a mixed look along with a small shrug of his shoulders.
“I guess. Not great, but a little better than yesterday,” Tree put his hands together, refusing eye contact with Black Hole as the two of them stood in silence for a little longer.
“It feels a lot better now I’m doing something other than worrying about them.”
Tree pulled on the strings of his jacket, hoping Black Hole wouldn’t notice the uneasiness within him.
Black Hole came a little closer, giving him a concerned look.
“Is this about Fanny?”
Tree was taken aback by the bluntness of the question, even while knowing he wasn’t really subtle about the certain someone he was constantly concerned about.
“Was it that obvious? She hasn’t spoken to anyone in awhile and it’s been worrying me,” He admitted, letting out a small sigh and twirled his jacket strings around his fingers.
Black Hole shrugged in response, gazing away at the grass instead.
“I dunno. It’s great you’re worrying about her and all, but worrying alone won’t do anything.”
“If you ever do decide to reach out again, don’t always get your hopes up. It’s hard for people to express how they feel—especially to others— after hiding it for so long. I have a feeling that’s how Fanny is to a certain degree.”
Right, just was Tree was starting to try and get his mind off her for once.
But he’s right; he shouldn’t get his hopes up for a magical ‘reunion’ to happen so suddenly, especially since she’s been closed off for quite a while now.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m trying to get my mind off it, though. Hence why I’m out here,” He smiled, letting go of his jacket strings.
Black Hole returned the gesture, nodding back in response.
“I’m glad. Well, I’ll leave you now if that’s alright. Just wanted to check up, you know?”
“Yeah, course. Thanks, man,” He watched as Black Hole slowly disappeared from his sight. It wouldn’t hurt to go back inside too, seeing how he already felt a little better.
Making his way down the hallways felt much shorter this time around, and he found himself waving down some people he recognised along the way.
He was most definitely in a better mood now. Maybe not completely happy, but better nonetheless.
It was the first moment in awhile he wasn’t overly worried about someone he cared about. Now Fanny was off his mind (at least for a little while) he could go back to doing what he loved.
He approached his room when he heard footsteps approach to his left.
He turned to look who was there, and the person stopped.
So did he.
His hand grasped for his other arm, and he stared, stunned.
“Fanny?”
Her eyes widened at the mention of her name, and she looked away to one of the walls. In her hands was a piece of paper. She turned around to leave, but Tree didn’t want to let her go.
He couldn’t let her go now, not after he spent all this time wanting to see her again.
“Wait, Fanny! Please, don’t leave yet,” He called out, letting go of his doorknob to fully face her direction. If she left now, he wouldn’t bother going after her, but…
He wanted her to stay at the very least. For this one time.
“I want to talk.”
She stood there, not turning around to face him again.
“There isn’t anything to talk about.”
He paused himself for a moment, taking in her words. Nothing to talk about? She was the one who was obviously approaching his room! He took a breath, not wanting to say the wrong thing and make her leave.
“Can you come inside my room? We can talk about this there.”
The hallway fell into silence, and Fanny didn’t move for awhile. Tree debated coming closer, but knew he shouldn’t.
“I don’t know.”
“You were the one who came here in the first place. You can’t expect me not to be worried after you isolated yourself for over a week and cut contact! I care about you, okay?”
Fanny returned to silence, turning to face Tree. He looked up at her, but she didn’t return the gaze.
“Okay,” She started, a little hesitant, “But I don’t want to talk about it now.”
Tree immediately nodded in response. He put his hand back on the doorknob, waiting for her to come over for him to open the door.
“That’s okay. I’ll give you space.”
Space. That’s what she wanted, right? He didn’t really understand what it was supposed to mean, but he knew he should try and give her it at all costs.
———
The two of them sat on Tree’s bed, hoping the other would say something first.
He was finally where he wanted to be—he had finally got Fanny back to communicating with him again, and now he doesn’t know how to start a simple conversation with her. To think he would consider himself a good friend is baffling.
He wanted to talk about many topics. Topics he knew Fanny wouldn’t enjoy much, but topics nonetheless.
Why was she isolating herself all of a sudden? That was something he wanted to ask about despite knowing he shouldn’t.
While lost in thought, one other question stood out to him the most, though.
The piece of paper she was holding earlier. She had discarded of it into his garbage, but he still wondered about it. What was on it, if anything at all?
“Um, Fanny? I know this is random, but there is something I was curious about,” He awkwardly smiled, twirling his hair a little around his fingers
“What? I hate excessive questions!” Her arms were crossed, and she diverted her attention over to the wall instead of at Tree.
He looked around the room, finding the words.
“Were you going to give me a letter or something? You know… The paper?”
Fanny rolled her eyes at the question but went silent. Did she know he could notice the way she acted? How she overthought her answers, how she avoided looking at him, and how she would always pick at her hands when speaking?
“It’s nothing, really. Just a stupid drawing I made.”
She reassured him, but he didn’t know if he wanted to believe it or not. Fanny wasn’t really a ‘letter maker’ or anything; he knew he was holding onto a belief about her that did nothing but feed into his own delusions.
“Oh, alright then,” He nodded, “I wouldn’t have minded seeing your drawing, though. I like seeing what you make.”
Putting both of her hands on her thighs, Fanny made a weak noise, before shrugging at what Tree had said.
“Serious question now: are you okay?” He turned to her, cautiously placing a hand on her shoulder. When she didn’t flinch or tell him to stop, he kept it there.
“I’m fine. It’s just that my legs hurt.”