Chapter Text
Ray didn't realise how badly he'd hurt himself.
He'd come to just minutes ago, back against the soft bed of grass as he groggily opened his eyes to the sight of blurred leaves and the distorted faces of Curley and Pete. And now, he's slumped against the trunk, glaring at the floor guiltily as Pete, now armed with a med kit (Ray didn't know where the hell from) gets ready to clean the auburn's scratched arms, burning red with unbridled shame. Pete had already wrapped Ray's knuckles, and that had passed with a lot of cursing and jaw clenching. It was the arms Ray was afraid of.
"Hold still, honey," Pete murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss on Ray's head before guiding his handkerchief down, onto Ray's torn skin. The gasp that leaves Ray's throat sounds inhumane, a wounded animal as he lurches forward, teeth clamping down on his lips. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Ray. Just a little longer, alright, baby?" Pete whispers soothingly, torn between his task and stopping completely and gathering Ray into his arms.
Curley, who'd made himself comfortable at Ray's side, clasps his hands around Ray's and makes himself comfortable on his shoulder. "It'll be over quick, I swear," The younger Walker's voice lulls into Ray's mind, almost hypnotic, just as much comforting, and the auburn allows his cheek to rest against the soft bed of curls. Eyes clenched shut, he continues to writhe on the ground, doing his best not to startle Pete as his... Fuck it, boyfriend- Ray, you didn't even make it official -continues to disinfect the wounds.
"Fucking burns," Ray mutters through gritted teeth, hissing softly when another sting of pain nearly jolts him upright.
"Don't worry, I'm done now," Pete reassures him, discarding his blood soaked handkerchief and alcohol back into the med kit before gently pressing a large gauze pad against Ray's arm, securing it firmly with a bandage wrap. A whimper escapes Ray's throat, but with Curley's thumb drawing intricate patterns against his hand, and Pete's voice humming reassurances, the material barely feels like an itch now. "There, all good," Pete sighs, brushing his lips against Ray's forehead before collapsing on his other side, wrapping his arm around Ray's shoulder. "How you feelin'?"
"Drained," Ray answers honestly, cringing at the sound of his own voice. Tired, almost empty now.
"Don't do that again," Curley mumbles, wrapping his arms around Ray's waist, head thumping against Ray's chest. Just above the heart. A rush of guilt washes over Ray, powerful and more suffocating, and he throws one arm around Curley's small frame, his other hand resting against Pete's thigh and slowly rubbing.
"I didn't... I didn't mean to do that, I swear," Ray swallows the lump in his throat, tears building again. He fights the urge to wipe at his eyes hastily, instead blinking them away. Making the mistake of looking at the road, just a few feet away, his eyes lock onto the object he'd been hoping would disappear. He hadn't noticed it before, too busy crying, but now, as his vision cleared, the thump in his temple easing, those soft browns now stare unblinking towards his bag.
"Want me to get it?" Pete asks, lowering his voice despite the fact it's only the three of them there. The auburn contemplates for a moment, brain working to come up with an answer. An answer to a simple 'yes' or 'no' question, yes, a bit overboard. But nothing comes, his mind stays blank, but it also doesn't. His thoughts keep churning before they fall away. They don't come back, then suddenly, they do. He can't even remember if his mind had always been this muddled before the Walk.
And that alone terrifies him.
Instead of answering, his head lulls forward, suddenly exhausted as Pete and Curley stiffen in alarm, hands pressing against Ray as they try to gently rouse him. "Come on, baby, don't shut down on us now," Pete murmurs against his ear, fingers brushing against red locks as his free hand shakes Ray's shoulder.
"You're with us, Ray. We aren't going anywhere," Curley follows, guiding Ray's hand to his own wrist and pressing Ray's thumb against the pulse point. It's faint, at first, and Ray feels his throat close up again. Why would death be so cruel, giving him Curley back, talking and blinking when he doesn't even have a pulse. Is he talking to a fucking corpse? All those questions, drowning and overwhelming, nearly causes Ray to miss the next thump, somewhat stronger than the first. Tha-dum, tha-dum, tha-dum. Slow, steady, alive. The thought alone allows Ray to breathe a shaky sigh of relief, he could almost start laughing again.
Well, almost. He does so anyway, shaking his head as tears finally slip form his eyes. That crazed smile creeps onto his face again, but the laughter bubbling from his chest isn't as forceful. Gentle, yet eerie. Quiet, but worrying.
"Hey... Hey, what're you laughin' about, hm?" Pete tries to copy Ray's smile, the corners of his lips twitching violently, eyes holding a deep sadness so foreign on the boy's face.
"It's just-! Just... this. I don't think- Think I understand how the fuck it's even possible," Ray huffs, stomach clenching, lungs working furiously. "Must be bleeding out still," Curley flinched, baby blues staring at Ray, hands falling on his lap. "Must be, the guy might've shot gut me, I mean- I mean, how else would I be imagining this!" The younger Walker tears his gaze away, watching the grass sway as Ray continues laughing. He doesn't know how long he'd been doubled over for, hell, it passes by in a flash. He doesn't know how long Pete kept rubbing his bag, telling him to let it out, or Curley, still with that far away look on his face, doing his best to comfort Ray by hugging him around the waist again. But when he finally calms down, hands nearly clenching into fists before Pete grabs a hold onto Ray's hands and unclenches them- trying to not show how scared he is at the possible idea of Ray beating the floor again until his knuckles turned black and purple- Ray takes the opportunity to really stare.
The road. The trees, just the same. The ID booth sitting far away, the rusted gate. All how it was before.
Before they walked themselves to the ground.
He never noticed how beautiful it all truly was, undisturbed by guns and rumbling jeeps, or the Major and heavy thuds of soldier boots.
Another weak chuckle, before his lips parted, forming the question, "What is this place?"
Neither Curley or Pete answer, the younger of the two looking towards the scarred boy, baby blues filled with uncertainty. Noticing that, Ray turns his attention fully towards Pete, slipping his hand into Curley's as if to make sure the kid won't run off somewhere (to where, yeah, Ray's uncertain of that answer). Finally, Pete's lips part with an inaudible sigh. "I'm not so sure myself, if I'm bein' honest. I think it's somewhere between life and death. And, I dunno, God must've left our souls here,"
"For what, some fucked punishment?" Ray barks out a sharp laugh.
"Who knows," Pete shakes his head. "Maybe just a limbo for all of us," That causes Ray to pause, furrowing his brows slightly.
"All of us?"
Pete stares at him deeply, shifting closer. "All of us. For us, Hank, Art, all of them,"
"They're here too?" Ray asks, something hopeful creeping into his words. He imagines their faces in his mind. Hank with his blue cap and a permanent scowl on his face, but a short smile only reserved for those he cared about. Art with his more angelic presence, with an air of kindness that weaved into everyone's hearts. As Ray kept walking, their faces seemed to slip from his mind, and it was a mental battle with himself to hold onto the memories he'd made with them, despite the short time he'd spent with them. But now, he could see them again, laugh and talk, while sitting down instead of scraping their feet ragged against the asphalt.
"Mhm, just into the forest," He motions his head towards the thicket of bushes and trees. "A bit far, but all safe, I guess you can say," Ray looks past his shoulder, waiting for movement. But nature seems to still, plunging them into uncomfortable silence.
"All 50 of us," Ray mutters softly.
"All 50, even though it's mean to be..." Pete trails off, warm browns watching Ray with a careful stare. 49, that's what Pete wants to say, and Ray knows that. The guilt slowly rises before he shakes it off, standing on trembling legs. "Woah, woah, what are you doin'?" Pete implores, bracing both hands on Ray's waist. Curley rises too, a similar look of concern stretched across his youthful features.
"Going to them," Ray responds simply, groaning at the slight twinge in his back from sitting upright for a while.
"Maybe we can rest first," Curley suggests, gaze darting from the forest to Ray.
"Have you seen them?" Ray asks suddenly, his attention on the younger boy. Despite the initial shock, Curley's face softens, and he offers a curt nod.
"Yeah, I have. I think time works differently here though. I mean, I came at least an hour before Stebbins sensed you here," Curley explains.
"Sensed?" Ray tilts his head questioningly.
"We'll explain that later," Pete cuts in quickly before cupping his hands around Ray's face. "You sure you don't wanna rest first?" Ray's gaze doesn't falter. Instead, he reaches up to hold Pete's hands, lowering them from his face and keeping them tight in his clasp.
"I wanna see the others," Ray says, thumb rubbing against Pete's knuckles, feeling the familiar, calloused warmth of his palms between his fingers. "Screw whatever this is, I'll come around. Just wanna see my friends again," Pete and Curley exchange a quiet look before a small smile graces Pete's lips, and he agrees with a quiet nod.
"Alright, then we'll go," Pete threads his fingers through Ray's hand properly, and the auburn wraps his arm around Curley's shoulder, the three of them standing side by side and facing the forest. "Bit of a far walk," He reminds Ray, swaying their hands between them. But Ray merely shrugs.
"300 or so miles, Pete. Think I can handle this," Ray reassures the two boys beside him.
"Wait!" Curley says, rushing off to the road and swiping Ray's bag off the ground. He returns to the two older boys with an excited grin, and Ray raises an eyebrow.
"Curls, I wasn't really going to bring that," Ray offers kindly. But the younger Walker digs into his bag, taking out... the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies his mom had given him. "Didn't think that would be in there," He nearly struggles to get the word out, the warm scent reminding him of his mom. And... And how he left her. Pete, noticing Ray's turmoil just by the hitch in breath, squeezes his hand silently while Curley unwraps it, offering the cookies like some unhinged baker boy.
"But thank fuck it's here, I really missed these!" Curley waits for Ray and Pete to take one before snagging a cookie for himself, pocketing it inside Ray's bag safely and practically inhaling the treat.
The sight causes Ray to laugh, smacking Curley's back when the younger boy nearly chokes on it. "Careful, Curls, we still got to get to the others," Ray humours, patting more gently when Curley's airways cleared.
"Let the boy have his food, the youngin's been complainin' about hunger for a hot minute before you got here, hun," Pete laughs. "Now, are we gonna go or not" Ray and Curley's eyes meet, a gentle brown against soft blues. And with a firm nod towards Pete, they set into the forest, leaves closing behind them as they pass the bushes and venture Mother Nature's terrain.