Chapter Text
Sasuke appeared back in his very familiar universe and took a moment to bask in the relief of being home before making his way towards Hokage tower. He still had 30 minutes before he had to be with Kakashi, and there was a large part of him that wanted to make him wait a little. We’ll call it retribution.
He briskly made his way through the tower and up to the Hokage’s office, where he gave his distinctive knock (two quick taps, followed by two slower ones) and entered without waiting for permission.
He found Shikamaru and Neji huddled behind the desk, looking over a few documents.
“Uchimaki. Nice of you to drop by.” Was Neji’s greeting. Shikamaru didn’t even look up.
“Thought I’d check in. Kakashi seems to think that the village will collapse without me and Naruto.”
Neji rolled his eyes.
“Ignore him. He’s just salty that Iruka is spending his time working instead of being with Kakashi every second of the day. You know how clingy that man gets.”
“He’s not the only one.”
Sasuke pointed out with a meaningful look at the Hyuuga. Shikamaru snorted out a laugh.
Neji puffed up indignantly.
“I’m not that bad.”
“Notice how he didn’t deny that he’s clingy.”
“Neji. Whenever we host any sort of get together, you spend all your time clinging to Shino. You two are that obnoxious couple that rubs their togetherness in everyone’s face constantly; and it’s entirely your fault.”
Neji was silent for a moment before laughing and flipping them the bird.
“Sounds like a you problem. I’m going to go fetch this guy’s medical report from Sakura. Later losers!”
With that, he sauntered out the room. Leaving Sasuke and Shikamaru alone in the office. Well, alone except for the anbu lingering in the corner of the room.
Sasuke glanced at the papers in front of the Nara.
“What do you need that guy’s medical records for?”
“Domestic violence case. The hearing has already concluded and he’s locked up. The prison just needs his medical records on file. Standard stuff, nothing crazy has happened since you two left.”
“So, you are okay for the next two days?”
Shikamaru looked up, sensing the serious turn that the conversation had taken.
“We’re fine. Things aren’t as smooth as they usually are, Neji and I need to do a bit of overtime every day, but we haven’t sacrificed any quality yet. Tsunade has also been dropping in for a few hours in the afternoon every day; a surprising but welcome development. As Kakashi probably mentioned, we did have to do a bit of shuffling on the first day. There are a few people who are doing a bit of work that isn’t usually in their load, but their pay has been adjusted to compensate for it. For the most part, everything has been distributed well. No one is being forced to manage a mountain on their own. Honestly, the distributing didn’t get anywhere near far enough down the ladder to impact the Mission’s Desk. Iruka just heard we were more thinly spread than usual and wanted to help however he could, you know what he’s like.”
Sasuke nodded his agreement. It was quite admirable how Iruka was always willing to bend over backwards to help other people, if a bit annoying at times. It was a trait he passed on to Naruto for sure.
And as much as he would make fun of Kakashi, Sasuke did understand what it was like to be with someone so selfless, especially since both of them were more inherently selfish – himself more than Kakashi, but the point still stands. He knew that Kakashi had gone to a considerable effort to get Iruka to retire and let someone else handle the work. All for it to be – at least temporarily – ruined.
And despite his best efforts… he felt guilty.
Damn it.
He really had gone soft, hadn’t he?
And on that distinctly horrifying note, he felt as his traitorous body relaxed as if a weight had suddenly been taken off it at the conformation that the village was still alive and thriving without him and Naruto. And if Shikamaru’s look of fond amusement meant anything, the bastard knew it too. Kami, his reputation would never recover from this slander.
He needed to escape. Now. He still had 13 minutes before he was expected to be with Kakashi, but at this point, he couldn’t care less. His retribution would have to wait.
“Right then. I’ll see you in two days.”
He said, and promptly body flickered away.
He was standing a few feet away from his own front door when he reappeared and wasted no time in walking forward, disengaging the many, many security seals and stepping inside. He took a moment to set up all the seals again before turning around and having to fight down a jump.
Kakashi was standing right in front of him with his arms crossed, looking unimpressed.
“You took your time.”
“Considering the example you set, you should be thankful I didn’t make you wait another two hours.”
“Oh please. You’re a helicopter parent. You wouldn’t make me wait when your kids are involved.”
Yay. More slander to his reputation.
This day keeps on getting better and better.
“Speaking of my kids, where are they?”
Kakashi turned to look at the kid’s designated ‘chill area’ – aptly named the ‘snug’ – as he spoke.
“What do you mean they’re right- …Well, they were right there.”
“How long did you have them sitting there?”
“Literally 10 minutes, at most.”
“You expected spawn of Naruto to sit still without entertainment for over 2 minutes?”
“I was a little preoccupied okay!”
“With what!?”
“Kushina spontaneously decided that chicken was disgusting, which – if you can believe it – just so happened to be what I made them for lunch.”
“… That’s literally basic toddler behaviour. You’ve raised a child. How do you not know this.”
“Basic toddler behaviour or not. It took time to manage. Time that I spent focused on Kushina and not the triplets. And you know what!? I’m not hearing a whole lot of gratitude from you, considering I have been caring for the hoard of children you spawned without getting paid for my labour.”
That… was actually a good point. Sasuke sighed.
“Fine. Thank you Kakashi for looking after the hoard of children I spawned.”
“You’re welcome. Now go find the demons.”
Kakashi said and walked off.
.
Sasuke regretted apologising already but there was nothing he could do about it now, so he focused on the triplets.
Knowing them they’re probably getting snacks, training, playing in their room, or bugging their siblings.
Kakashi said they just had lunch, and he knew that the man would never let kids that young train without proper supervision. Sasuke went to check their room. It looked like a bomb had gone off inside it, so business as usual. After dedicating a few moments to nudging all the lumps of clothing and other fabric around the room for hiding – or napping – monkeys. He concluded that the room was empty.
Sasuke checked their chakra signatures. They were still lacking in proper chakra control, so it was hard to pinpoint their exact location, but he knew that they were in the left wing of the house. The only bedrooms in that area were his and Naruto’s, Boru and Menma’s, and Kawaki’s.
Only Kawaki was here so he knocked on the teen’s room, opened the door and-
“What the hell are you doing here.”
Good news was that he found the triplets. Bad news was that Mikoto and Hima were hanging off a suspiciously pink haired male while Minato was curled up with Kawaki on his bed.
Hisaku Haruno-Hyuuga turned around – still with two children hanging on to each of his legs – and gave him a blinding smile. Sasuke didn’t trust that smile.
“Hey Uncle!”
“Hello. Answer my question.”
“I invited him over.”
Kawaki asserted, now sitting up, but still running his fingers through Minato’s hair. It made for an adorable sight. If he wasn’t dealing with a crisis, Sasuke might’ve snapped a photo of it. Alas, he had bigger problems right now.
“Kakashi allowed this?”
“Yes, he gave Hisaku permission to stay over.”
“You know how much I love visiting, Uncle!”
“Hn.”
That explained why Kakashi had made himself scarce.
“The door was closed.”
“Minato, Mikoto, and Himawari were in the room.”
“And where was he planning to sleep.”
“… On a futon. On the floor.”
Sasuke wasn’t sure if he believed him, but they had places to be, so he’d let it go.
.
For now.
“Next time, the door remains open.”
Kawaki sighed, earning a chuckle from Hisaku, which in turn earned him a mildly betrayed look from Kawaki.
The tension was broken with a cry of:
“PAPA!!”
And suddenly Sasuke had two children barrelling into him at full force. He straightened up with a child on each hip. Mikoto hummed happily from his left and curled into him, tucking her little blonde head under his chin. It was all Sasuke could do to avoid melting into a puddle of content goop, even as Hima started talking his ear off.
“Papa! Papa! You’re back! It felt like you were gone forever! Where is Boru and Menma? Where’s mama? What is it like over there? Did you guys have fun? Are- “
“Your mom and siblings are still over there, and you’re about to find out what it’s like over there because you three will be there with us for the next two days.”
Himawari looked stunned for a moment before she broke out into a smile so big it made Sasuke’s cheeks hurt just looking at it.
“Really!? That’s so cool!”
She squealed out, practically vibrating in his arms.
It was then that he noticed the lack of input from the third triplet.
Sasuke glanced away from the two little girls to find Minato still curled into Kawaki’s side. That was odd.
Minato seemed to notice his attention and curled further into Kawaki.
“I’m not going!”
Sasuke frowned, confused.
“Why not?”
“Kawaki promised that we’d do kunai training tomorrow morning.”
“Can’t you do it in two days’ time?”
That seemed to be the wrong thing to say as Minato’s face scrunched in distress.
“No! Kawaki promised we’d do it tomorrow!”
Kawaki sent him a guilty look, probably apologising for the scheduling mix up.
Sasuke considered his options. Fighting with Minato would only end in tears and heartbreak, and he didn’t particularly want to deal with that if it could be avoided. He couldn’t leave Minato behind for fear of Kakashi throwing himself off the roof in despair, not to mention the drama it would cause with Mikoto who hated being away from the other triplets for any length of time. Which really only left one option.
“What if Kawaki came with us. You could do your kunai training there.”
Kawaki nodded at him as Minato calmed down and agreed. Crisis averted. Thank Kami.
“Great idea Uncle! I’ll tag along too!”
What.
“What.”
Oh no.
“Yeah! I’ll help you guys out with watching the little tykes and get to spend time with Kawaki too!”
“Hisaku’s coming with us!? We can have a giant sleepover!” Was Hima’s contribution to the matter.
Oh no no no.
“Perfect. Kawaki, I’ll get us packed up while you worry about the little ones.”
“Thank you Hisaku.” Kawaki said and turned his head to the side to accept a kiss to the cheek from the pink haired menace, all the while looking very amused.
Brat.
Much to Sasuke’s horror, half an hour later found him at a reception desk for a very expensive hotel with one child on each hip, one attached to his pant leg, and two teenagers holding hands behind him – yuck.
How was this his life?