Chapter Text
That fucking ruled!
Joel grinned. Samy’s text had come through the second they’d come off air, and he felt like it was going to burn a hole of joy in his pocket for the rest of the evening.
The text had come through scarcely a moment before Tommi’s had, confirming that the show had gone off without a technical hitch, and Joonas had broken out a four-pack of beer he’d wheedled his father into getting them, cheersing his can with theirs. Joel didn’t know what excuse he’d come up with to be allowed it, but as long as it wasn’t the truth, it didn’t really matter.
There had been a few fumbles here and there. Joel tripping over his words. Joonas introducing the wrong song. That sort of thing. The sort of mistakes where you want it so badly that of course you fuck up a bit. But nothing drastic, nothing damning, and that made it a sweet victory.
Joel sipped his beer from the sofa, savouring the relief of having the show out of the way. It was done. One show down, and an infinite number to go.
He didn’t have much time to savour the beer, though. He had to be home by half six, everyone did, so within ten minutes they left, crumpling their cans to dump in the first public bin they saw.
Niko and Olli parted ways from Joel and Joonas half a mile away from home, leaving the duo walking together for five minutes. The black sky still threatened to snow, clouds covering the navy blue and hiding the stars away until Joel’s stomach clenched at the ominous sight.
Joonas fist bumped him when they reached the end of Joel’s street, oblivious to his inner frettings. “We fucking killed it,” he said, delighted.
Joel returned the grin. “There were a couple fuck ups here and there,” he said. “But we did it! We actually did it, and it’s gonna work!”
Joonas’s grin turned vicious in the light of the streetlamps. “Aleksi Kaunisvesi, eat your fucking heart out!”
His laughter warmed Joel all the way back home.
The nerves came back the next day. Joel sat at his usual seat in the rejectory for breakfast, almost vibrating from a rush of strange fear in his gut. Olli was nervous too, unable to concentrate on the last of his homework, so Tommi was doing it for him, as unruffled as usual.
Joonas and Niko wore twin grins of excitement, nudging each other and muttering amongst themselves. Two five-euro notes lay on the table before them, and Joel thought he had a pretty good idea of what it was they were whispering over. He even suspected he knew which argument they both took. Joonas was desperate for Kaunivesi to notice them and feel threatened just like Joel, but Niko was calmer, more measured. A side product of being new to us. Joel was certain the normalcy would leave Niko soon, and he’d become just as much of a shithead as the rest of them. It was inevitable.
The thought made him smile into his coffee.
At five to nine, Kaunisvesi’s jingle played out. It was almost drowned out for a moment by the sound of chairs scraping back as students began to stand up and make their way to their classes, but the sound of it still sent a little chill down Joel’s spine. He tried to relax, meeting Joonas’s wide-eyed gaze. This is it. This is the moment to see if Kaunisvesi had been rattled at all.
Because people had been talking about it as Joel had walked in through the gates. They’d pointed at the posters and chatted, their conversations seemingly animated, and Joel had dared to hope that that was a good thing. That people had enjoyed it and would keep talking about it, that they’d continue to tune in, or start to if they hadn’t last night.
That Kaunisvesi would try to put us down in that lofty way of his, and only seem like he felt intimidated. Not that Joel would ever say that out loud. Hannes was suspicious enough as it was, terrifyingly perceptive. Joel didn’t need the others to figure it out and tease him over it.
Alas, he and Joonas were to be disappointed. Kaunisvesi simply read out his usual morning notices, about school clubs and sports matches and practice sessions without a waver to his voice. It was almost as if nothing had changed at all, and Joel found himself deflating a bit as he readied himself to get to chemistry.
“But he only has five minutes for the morning notices,” Joonas tried, giving Niko innocent big eyes that made Joel want to snort. Joonas was far from innocent. “Maybe he’ll say something at lunch.”
Niko rolled his eyes hard, but gave in, his cheeks faintly pink. “Fine,” he said, unable to stop a little smile as he pocketed his five euros. “If he hasn’t said anything at lunch, pay up.”
Joonas took his note with a delighted grin. “He will. Mark my words,” he said. “He’ll have to mention us. He’ll have to!”
Then he stood to lead the way to chemistry before Niko could respond.
Joel followed him, dragging his feet. They took their seat somehow just before the late bell, and Joel set in for ninety minutes of boredom. There were no experiments today, and no homework due, so he simply sat doodling in his notebook for the duration of class, trying to ignore his classmates when he thought he heard them bring up the station.
What if they liked it? but worse, what if they hated it? He didn’t want to know. He was simply providing an alternative to the usual drivel; if they didn’t like it, it was fine. The class was fifteen students out of maybe a thousand. They didn’t have to be indicative of the whole student body.
That still didn’t help his sickening nerves. Joel tried hard to focus on his worksheet, but the words seemed to wobble and melt before him, and he was too wired up to concentrate. Skulls and bones and vines and roses decorated the page before him, but he was just going through the motions. He was stuck in terrified limbo, fearing the school faculty somehow knowing it was him and somehow fearing Kaunisvesi ignoring the show even more.
After chemistry he had a free period.
He spent it with the Sports Block Rejects sitting on the icy stone with them, accepting a drag of Hannes’s blunt because he only had lunch next and he desperately needed something to calm him down a bit, mellow him out.
And no one would accuse him of having the munchies. They’d just think he should have had a proper breakfast. Tommi would snort and tell him he should have eaten his blueberry muffin, if he said anything at all.
Hannes offered the weed as a greeting, pairing it with the show went great, dude. Joel had barely slung his rucksack down before the weed met his lips, but then he was blowing out smoke and passing it back, lighting up a cigarette so that could be passed around as his own contribution to the contraband.
“It was terrifying,” he said eventually, bunching his fingers up in his hoodie because he’d somehow forgotten his gloves that morning and it was an especially cold day. “I kept getting scared we’d mess up, say our names, or just totally fumble it. But it went way better than I could have ever hoped.” Even if the most he’d truly ever dare to hope for was total perfection, because he liked to hold himself to an impossibly high standard. The others didn’t need to know that. It would make him sound desperate at best or an uncompromising yet neurotic hardass at worst, and despite the fact that he fit easily into the latter category, he was trying to improve and be less neurotic.
“It rocked,” Alex said, beaming. “You guys will go so far, I know it.” Everyone else nodded along, Mirko fiercest of all, his curls bouncing with the motion.
If we don’t get found out and expelled. But Joel knew he meant well, so he swallowed down the words and gave him a queasy smile. “Cheers.”
Even Gabriel was pleased with them, none of his usual nerdy, teacher’s pet reticence clinging to him in this moment, so Joel had to count it as a win. Gabriel just nodded along, his smile pleased and more than a little bit shy, like he’d hoped it was the success it had turned out to be. “I’m surprised Kaunivesi didn’t mention you guys this morning,” he offered.
Joel shrugged, taking a drag. “Joonas was, too. But Kaunivesi only has five minutes for his notices, so maybe he just didn’t have time and was saving it.” He kind of felt better about it, now. Whether that feeling would last until the lunch show remained to be seen, but whatever. They were going to do the show every day. Kaunivesi would have to mention them at some point.
“You wondering what he’s got to say?” Hannes asked, a knowing glint in his eyes.
Joel scoffed, unperturbed despite knowing what Hannes was really digging at. “Of course.” He took a puff of his cigarette. “He’s got to mention us at some point. It'd be weird if he didn’t.”
Mirko snorted, holding his hand out for Joel’s cigarette. “He’ll probably trash talk you like he does to everything else he deems too lowly for the likes of him,” he said, scowling.
Joel passed the cigarette over, stomach flipping at Mirko’s almost bitter tone. “He’s talked shit about you?” he asked.
Mirko shook his head, his curls bouncing. “He wouldn’t dare. But he has that look in his eyes when he sees me, like he would if he had an actual friend.” He took a drag and passed the cigarette on.
Samy frowned. He wasn’t meant to be here, Joel knew. He was cutting class, because physics sucks ass, which was a more than fair assessment. “If he decides to say something, I’ll spark him out,” he said, uncharacteristically harsh, his mouth a grim line.
His words forced a weird tension in the air between them all. Joel didn’t doubt that he meant them, guilt eating him alive after his last slip-up, however long ago it had been.
Mirko shrugged. “Good luck with that,” he said, his tone carefully casual.
Samy let it go. “You know, there was a rumour going around that he used to date Robin, back before the amalgamation,” he said, changing the subject.
Joel blinked, surprised. “Who told you that?” he asked, ignoring the way Hannes looked at him as he straightened up a little.
Samy shrugged. “Taz. He’s friends with Johnny. I guess Johnny told him.”
Joel hummed, sitting back.
It made sense, actually. The way Robin argued with him in lit class, the way the pair had an obvious history everyone else was too polite to want to get involved in. Joel just wondered how he hadn’t seen it sooner.
“You gonna put that in the show?” Samy asked, eyes sparkling with mischief at Joel.
He shook his head. “We’re providing an alternative to Kaunisvesi’s station. We can’t make it a witch hunt unless he does it first. I bet Järvy is already up in arms about the show, so we can’t give him more reasons to go after us.”
Hannes nodded like it was sensible, Gabriel too. Samy pouted, Mirko wrinkling his nose, but they accepted it without argument.
By the time the lunch bell rang, they were all stoned and frozen. Joel burrowed his cold fingers inside his sleeves, desperately searching for some warmth as Hannes pulled on his gloves. They all hurried to the rejectory, hungry, and stood shivering outside in the queue as the prefect - yet another monstrosity from the amalgamation - eyed the inside queue. After what felt like an age, they were finally let in.
Joel blew warmth into his freezing fingers, rubbing his hands together in an effort to get some blood flowing as he joined the inside queue. Around him, people were talking. He found himself listening in a little before realising the people in front of him were talking about the show, and then panic swept in, and he wondered if anyone had any idea that he was one of the hosts. What if they did? He’d find himself under suspicion, and it would all be over, and it was all a shit idea in the first place.
Hannes nudged him, jolting him out of his thoughts. “Hey, cool it,” he hissed. “Breathe.”
“I am,” Joel complained, turning to him desperately. “But they…” he nodded helplessly in their direction. “What if someone knows?”
Hannes elbowed him, a light frown wrinkling his brow. “You’re not usually this paranoid after smoking,” he said. “They don’t know. It went great, and no-one has any way of knowing. Chill out.”
That was easier said than done. Joel grumbled to himself, but the irritation helped calm his nerves a bit, giving him something else to think about as the queue shrank and the dinner ladies at their little food station began to impend upon them like a flock of grumpy harpies armed with ladles and spatulas. Joel picked up a dripping tray from the tray trolley, shaking it in an effort to get rid of some of the residual water trying to pool on its surface. “Yo, did they dry these at the bottom of the fucking lake?” he muttered, earning a snort behind him. He grimaced and reached for cutlery and a plastic cup.
Then it was time to choose which slop he’d eat.
The first option was the school’s best approximation of beef and mushroom stroganoff. It steamed, brown and lumpy, and the sight of it turned Joel’s stomach.
Next to it was a vat of chilli con carne, looking slightly more appetising. Clearly it was beef day, but Joel didn’t really feel like eating that despite his post-weed munchies.
The vegetarian option seemed slightly better. It was some kind of risotto, full of mushrooms and carrots. It was still slop, but that couldn’t be helped. He asked the bored-looking dinner lady for it, swallowing and trying to pretend he hadn’t been smoking.
The plate was steaming hot when she handed it over. He set it down on his tray as fast as he could without spilling it, fingers burning, and moved along to the dessert section of the canteen.
Yet again, the dessert was sticky toffee pudding. Joel reached for a bowl, resigned and hungry, and swiped an apple before the dinner lay could tell him off for taking two desserts. Then he turned away, heading over to his usual table in the corner. Tommi was already seated, picking at his selection of slop like it had personally offended him.
Joel set his tray down so hard his empty cup fell over. “God, I’m hungry. Even with this shit in front of me,” he declared, pulling out a chair to sit.
Tommi didn’t even look up. “Robin was taunting Kaunisvesi about the radio show in physics,” he said. “Made quite a big deal of it, and Johnny was smirking at them.”
Joel blinked, caught off guard. “What?” he asked.
Tommi chewed through a mouthful of chilli. “I’ll wait for when Joonas and Niko get here. But yeah.” He washed his words down with water.
Joel deflated a little as he poured his water from the jug. He’d banked so much on Kaunisvesi mentioning them, but if he’d been taunted about it then maybe he wouldn’t.
But why does that matter? It doesn’t mean anything for us if he mentions us or not. Joel chewed his lip, then picked up his fork.
Of course, he knew why it mattered to him. It meant Kaunisvesi had noticed him, not in the way he did in lit class - oh, fuck, weren’t they starting on Anna Karenina this week? - with his snooty amusement but recognised him as a worthy equal.
Or he’d smoked too much weed earlier. Joel decided that was the case, digging into his risotto.
It was about as appetising as it looked, which wasn’t saying much, but he devoured it anyway, almost halfway through it before Olli and Niko sat down. Joonas was the last one to arrive, dumping his tray down hard before he sat with a belaboured sigh. “God, I don’t know why I bother turning up to geography,” he huffed. “I should just cut class and join you and the Sport’s Block Rejects.”
Joel snorted, chewing. “What’s your class doing?” he asked. “Is it still tectonics?”
Joonas shook his head, pulling out his money to slap down between him and Niko. “Coastal erosion. Goes with our biology course. I don’t know why I chose to continue with this shit.”
“You thought it would be an easy grade,” Tommi cut in bluntly. “To disappoint you more, Robin was listening to your show last night.”
“Oh?” Joonas blinked up at him, curious instead of annoyed. “What did he say?”
Tommi ate another forkful of chilli. “Claimed to have enjoyed it. Was really rubbing it in Kaunisvesi’s face like he was trying to make him squirm, saying he’d have to step up if he didn’t want to be outshone. Johnny looked pretty amused by it. I didn’t know he felt so strongly about Kaunisvesi’s show.”
“Hannes said Taz told him Kaunisvesi and Robin used to date,” Joel interrupted, excited at being able to contribute to the gossip rather than letting it wash over him like usual. He celebrated by swiping a grape from Joonas’s pudding, poking his tongue out when Joonas kicked him for it.
“Must have been one hell of a breakup for Johnny to enjoy watching them bicker,” Tommi mused.
Joel’s stomach flipped just thinking about the history that three must have with each other. He could picture it, Kaunisvesi and Robin all loved-up with each other and going out on dates, Johnny friendly with them both. Maybe he had his own boyfriend and was happy. Then Joel thought of his weird tête-à-têtes with Archie, and wondered if he was onto something, before deciding he didn’t care enough to think about it.
Before anyone could say any more, the rejectory’s speakers crackled to life and the annoyingly familiar jingle played out. Joel found himself holding his breath, staring down at his empty plate like it was the anchor stopping him from turning round to peer up at the booth where Kaunisvesi was sat. This was it. This was it, and he felt suddenly lightheaded with anticipation.
Kaunisvesi just issued a few notices, sounding like he was bored himself. The girls toilets in the sports block were out of order for the foreseeable future, apparently - something about plumbing issues - last night’s snow meant football season was officially over, and there were choir auditions for the interested for the rest of the week. By the end of it, Joel was expecting the jingle to play out before today’s choice of peppy song as Kaunisvesi conferred with Principal Järvy before going back on air. It would be the smart thing to do, and expected, after Robin’s taunting.
However, it seemed Kaunisvesi couldn’t help himself. “It has come to my attention that someone wants to be my competition. I hear it was a valiant effort, Blind Channel Radio, but I think I’ll take the free advertising all your little posters have given me. We’ll be back after a little break.” With that, his jingle played out, more annoying than ever. Joel stole another of Joonas’s grapes and debated launching it up at the radio booth.
Instead he blew a raspberry.
“Pay up, fucker,” Joonas demanded of Niko, his voice full of crowing gloating. Niko grumbled but obliged, handing over the same crumpled bill from breakfast.
“He’s intimidated,” Tommi said. “And he’s not doing a good job of hiding it.”
Hysterical giggles bubbled up in Joel’s chest. “Oh,” he said, feeling like he was floating on pure sunshine, “it’s fucking on!”