Chapter Text
Tommy wakes up late. At least, he thinks it's late, because he feels rested, and alive. The type of unusual feeling he only gets after sleeping for 10 hours, 12, maybe more. It's still light out, so Tommy assumes it couldn't have been that long.
He gets up slowly, he lets the blood reach the very bottom of his fingers, and of his toes, before he walks towards his door. He can feel his joints cracking. He can feel his circulation stubbornly refusing to reach his hands, rendering them too weak to properly turn his doorknob.
He feels … slow. He knows where he is, and why, but it feels distant. Like a half erased pencil sketch, he knows it's there from the indent on the page but he can't quite tell what the drawing was supposed to be. He finally pushes his door open, stumbling out into the hallway. He leans against his doorway for a second before walking towards the stairs.
As he reaches them, he sees Techno sitting on the couch downstairs and gets a feeling of deja-vu. He slowly walks down the stairs, leaning heavily on the railing, and blinking. He eventually feels a bit more at home in his body, a bit less distant in noticing every single movement. He walks towards the couch and Techno looks up at him.
“This happens a lot.” He doesn’t think much before he speaks, and the sentence doesn’t make much sense, but Techno nods along anyways. He gives a small hum of agreement and Tommy walks towards the kitchen. He thinks he’s allowed to make breakfast. Honestly, it’s been long enough that he doesn’t really care. He walks over to the cupboard and gets out a loaf of bread. He makes plain toast again and walks back into the living room with the 2 pieces on his plate.
Techno looks up again, and Tommy notices now that he’s reading, again. He wants to lean over and watch him read like yesterday, but his brain is working too slowly to let him process any words, so he settles for sitting beside him to eat his toast. The small crunch of him eating fills the room, as Techno keeps reading, quietly. Eventually, Tommy hears footsteps and looks over to see Phil walking down the stairs. He shoots Tommy a warm smile, like he usually does, and walks towards him.
“Hey Tommy, would you mind coming to the kitchen with me? I wanna talk to you about something.” He must notice the panic that settles on Tommy’s face because he quickly adds “Nothing bad!”. Tommy gets up and leaves his plate on the coffee table. He follows behind Phil.
He’s still nervous about what the older man wants to talk about. Maybe it was about yesterday, or about something he did. He tries to remember if he’s done anything wrong recently as he sits down on a chair, in front of Phil.
“So, yesterday Techno talked to me about something.” Tommy tenses up in his chair. So this is what it was about. He’d forgotten he told Techno to tell Phil. He mentally prepares to be told he shouldn’t lie to Techno too, that he should just admit he has an eating disorder, before Phil finally speaks again.
“I’m sorry, Tommy. I should’ve believed you. I want you to feel safe talking to me, I’m sorry you had to go to Techno just to get through to me.” Tommy looks up at him with wide eyes. He hadn’t expected an apology. He doesn’t remember what he expected, really. He had just hoped, however foolishly, that Phil would listen. And he did. He gives Phil a nod and the man continues talking.
“I’m happy to help anywhere I can. I think the first step here should be going to the hospital-” Tommy freezes up at that word. He gets up, pushing his chair to the ground. He hears shuffling from the living room, and Techno walks in, and stares at him. Tommy backs away from them both, heading towards the wall in the corner of the room.
“No! No, no, we don’t need to go to the hospital! I’m not going to the hospital, we aren’t- we aren’t doing that! Leave me alone, LEAVE ME ALONE!” His voice gets more frantic as Phil slowly walks towards him, ending in a sobbing yell when he tries to set his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy’s back hits the wall, and Phil pulls his hand back. Phil takes a deep breath and slowly walks back, giving Tommy more room.
“Tommy,” His voice is calm, and quiet, even as Tommy continues to sob, “can you sit down please?” He looks up at Phil, his vision blurred by the tears. He shakes his head.
“Tom, mate, I know hospitals are scary but-” Tommy knows he’s being ridiculous but he covers his ears with a choked off scream that startles Techno, who was now sitting at the end of the table. Tommy can see Phil sigh, and it looks tired, and disappointed. Tommy almost stops, sits down, but he can’t. His head is full of memories of his mother, pinning him to the floor in hospital waiting rooms as he sobbed and screamed and thrashed.
He stops screaming, at least. Phil looks at him for a second. He sighs again.
“Can you sit down, mate? We’ll talk about something else, I promise.” Tommy peels his hands away from his ears. He slowly stands up straighter, no longer leaning on the wall. As he’s about to take a step forward, Techno starts talking.
“But, Phil-” He’s cut off by what looks like a stern look. Tommy slowly walks towards the table. He doesn’t sit down yet, just looks at Phil.
“Hey mate. I’m sorry, we don’t need to go to the hospital, it’s ok.” Tommy nods, slowly. He can still feel tears drying on his cheeks. He feels stupid now. He’d scared Techno when he screamed, and Phil looked so tired. He looked crazy. Screaming and sobbing just at the suggestion of going to the hospital. He knows he needs to, he knows that’s the most logical solution. He presses the collar of his shirt to his face, trying to dry away whatever remained of his tears.
“We’ll start with something else, it’s alright. Could you please sit down?” There’s something desperate in his voice, so Tommy just complies. He sits down in a chair next to the one he’d thrown to the ground earlier. Phil took a deep breath.
“Alright, is there anything you haven’t told Techno that I should know? Are you comfortable telling me that?” Tommy shakes his head. He doesn’t know what he’s saying no to, but it doesn’t matter. Techno glances over to his father before addressing Tommy directly.
“Can you talk right now?” Tommy shakes his head again. He hadn’t even realized but Techno’s question explains it. His words are stuck in his throat, his mouth is dry, he stares back at Techno. Phil gives a small nod.
“Do you think you’d be able to write?” Tommy gives a nod, because he really doesn’t wanna be a burden, but he isn’t really sure. Phil turns towards a drawer and opens it, bringing out a small notebook and a pen that he hands to Tommy. Tom sets the notebook down and grips the pen in his hand, but suddenly even writing words becomes too hard for him as he stares blankly at the paper. He looks up helplessly at Phil, who turns to Techno again.
“Techno, could you go get your AAC tablet?” Tommy gives a confused look and Phil turns back towards him. He gives him a smile before explaining, as Tehcno walks away, leaning on his cane.
“When Techno was younger, he didn’t talk for a little while, so we got him a tablet with an app. It has pre written sentences and words with drawings, and it reads out what you press.” Tommy’s eyes widen. That sounded… nice. He likes that idea, a lot. He’s happy Techno got to have that, when he was younger. A few minutes later, Tommy hears footsteps coming down the stairs paired with the click of Techno’s cane. He looks up and sees him walking over, holding what looked like a kids tablet.
It had a plastic case, the big ones that were soft and had handles, for small kids, so they wouldn’t drop them. Though, in Techno’s hand, next to his cane, it makes sense. It looks easy to carry, and he isn’t struggling like usual to find a balance between holding something fragile and leaning on his cane. He hands Tommy the tablet, already open on the app Phil had described.
Tommy looked over and found a small drawing of someone holding their hand to their chin, with small text underneath that read “hello”. He pressed on it and a deep robotic voice rattled off the message. He pressed it again, listening to the noises coming from the tablet. Phil smiled at him again, nodding.
“Can you tell me about that pain now, and everything else?” Tommy gave a small nod and pressed on the screen, playing a small “yes”. He pressed it again twice, stopping when Techno’s face started looking pained. He scrolled down.
“Pain. Legs.” Phil nods, humming along as he continues to press buttons, forming sentences as well as possible. “Dizzy, balance. Bad.”
“Your balance is bad?” Tommy hummed along, giving a small nod. “Is that why you fell, when we went shopping?” Tommy hummed again, focusing on the vibration in his throat.
“Alright, well, without-” Phil hesitated for a second. “For now, we can’t really guess why you fainted. But, I think I know what could help with your legs, and your balance.” Tommy tilted his head in a question, and the robotic voice read out “what?”
“Well,” Phil started slowly, as if unsure of how Tommy would react, “I could get one of Techno’s old canes out of storage, and we could adjust it to your height.” Tommy understood the hesitation now as his eyes widened, shaking his head and pressing the “no” button repeatedly. Phil gave another sigh and an almost sad smile.
“Techno uses a cane, he could show you how to. It would help, you’d be able to come shopping, to walk for longer. It’d be good for you.” Tommy pulled his hands away from the tablet, not wanting to impulsively say something. He takes a minute to think about it.
A cane is small. It’s what Techno uses when he isn’t in much pain. Maybe he could be allowed to use one, too. People wouldn’t assume he’s lying, if it’s only something used for small pain. He could get away with it. And Phil was offering, he wasn’t asking. And he looked so disappointed when Tommy refused. Tom looked over at Techno, and at the cane leaning on the kitchen table in front of him. He thought about when he was younger, and able to walk for hours, to run, to climb trees without any issues. He looks down at the tablet again.
“Later. Not today.” Phil’s smile gets wider and he nods, his eyes looking softer, more calm. Tommy can feel what was left of his emotions earlier climbing to the front of his throat as he chokes on an unexplained sob. Techno looks up from his book.
“Do you wanna be alone, Theseus?” Tommy gives a small smile when he hears the nickname, and he nods. Techno gets up, and Phil follows behind him.
Tommy leans his head forward, resting in his hands, and he lets himself sob. It’s loud, and he knows they can both hear him, but he can’t bring himself to care. He doesn’t feel good. He feels safe here, yes. And he trusts Phil that much more. But god, does he feel bad. Everything is too much, and he needs to let himself cry. To let himself feel it. He needs to because he knows he can. He knows he won’t be locked in his room to lash out and break things. He’s allowed to cry and that feels safe. That feels like something he should’ve had at home.
He doesn’t let himself think about it too much, as it makes him cry harder. He presses the bottom of his shirt to his face, trying to dry his tears as they fall. It takes longer than he’d like, but he calms down eventually. He takes a deep breath, and sits up straight. He can hear very quiet conversation from the living room. He gets up, grabbing the tablet as a second thought, and walks towards the living room. Phil seems to be on the phone, and Techno is sitting beside him, quietly still.
“Oh, Will, one second.” Tommy startles at hearing Wilburs name before looking at Phil. He gives a smile. “Do you feel better now, mate?”
Tommy pulls the tablet up, pressing yes before walking over. He sits in the chair opposite of the couch, the one that didn’t face the TV no matter how hard you tried, but that Techno seemed to like. He sets the tablet on his knees as he quietly waits for Phil to finish his phone call with Will. Phil seems to mostly just be asking news, making small talk. He brings up a song Wilbur had been writing and even Tommy can hear his voice brighten up. Tommy tries not to listen too closely. He’s learnt his lesson about eavesdropping.
Eventually, the conversation seems to come to an end, as Tommy hears them both wish the other goodbye. Some pleasantries are exchanged, and Phil hangs up, turning back towards Tommy and his son.
“I’m sorry, boys, but it looks like I have to get to work.” Techno looks up, shoulders more tense than they were a minute ago, and he nods. Tommy does as well, and Phil leaves, walking towards his office next to the stairs. Tommy turns towards Techno, who isn’t reading anything, for once. The older boy gives him what looks almost like a mischievous smile.
“Hey, Theseus, do you like minecraft?” Tommy jumps up a bit, quickly reaching for the tablet. He doesn’t bother looking for specific words, instead writing what he wants to say directly into the small text box.
“I fucking love minecraft.” The robotic voice might not sound excited, but Tommy can guess that even just a glance at his expression gives away how excited he actually is. He hadn’t played minecraft in so long. He was only really able to on his school computer, and it wasn’t quite minecraft. “Education edition”, to be exact. But he loved it. Techno gives him a wide smile, bigger than Tommy had ever seen before.
“Wanna play?” Tommy nods, humming repeatedly, enjoying that deep vibration. The hand he wasn’t using to hold the tablet came up in a fist and he shook it up and down.
He walked over to the couch, holding onto the tablet as he sat down next to Techno. The older boy got up, fiddling with the TV for a few minutes before opening it. Tommy recognized that they were playing on an Xbox thanks to the very few birthday parties he had been invited to as a child, including one where the birthday boy had an Xbox in his room. Tommy hadn’t been allowed to play. Everyone knew he broke stuff, that he was aggressive, angry. The boy told Tommy he couldn’t play because he’d probably break the controller. Tommy had just nodded and watched.
Techno turned back, handing Tommy a controller. Tommy looked at him and smiled, and hummed, and grabbed onto the controller as if it would be ripped away the second he let go. Techno navigated the console, opening minecraft as Tommy watched, quietly. It finally opened, and Techno turned towards Tommy,
“We can play in a server or a world. Me and Will have a world, so, we can have one too.” Tommy takes a minute to think about it, humming again. He’d feel better playing in a world they made, but it felt too personal, almost. Techno and Wilbur had one, the brothers. If he left, would Techno keep the world? Would it be deleted, forgotten? He decides to risk it anyway.
“World, please.” Techno nods, booting up a brand new world. Tommy watches as he calls it “Theseus and Techno’s world” and Tommy can’t help but smile. Techno sets it to easy and they both wait as it charges. Tommy has never played minecraft with someone else. He hopes he isn’t too awful, or annoying.
The second the world is open, Tommy starts running. He picks a direction and sprints, and Techno hurries to follow behind him. He lets out a small chuckle as Tommy jumps around, collecting dirt and wood. He just follows behind, doing the same, before he starts making tools.
It's a chaotic affair, but Techno just keeps laughing as Tommy somehow manages to get more and more disorganized with every minute that passes. Tommy is laughing too, as he dies for the fourth time just getting coal. They don’t play for long, at least in Tommy’s opinion. He would’ve stayed there for the entire day, if he had been allowed. But they stop playing after an hour or two. Tommy hadn’t quite been paying attention. He just looks up when Phil walks back over, seemingly done with his work.
“Hey boys, sorry to ruin the fun but we have to eat lunch. And I thought maybe we could all cook together!” Techno looks up before pausing the game, quickly. Tommy reaches for the tablet again, giving a small yes and an excited nod. He didn’t know if he could cook very well, he didn’t think so, but he wanted to help. He gives a smile. Techno nods, and stands up slowly, with Tommy following close behind.
As they walk towards the kitchen, Phil explains that they’ll be making pasta. Tommy jumps to his toes before lowering himself back down. He loves pasta a lot, and he likes making it too. Techno sits down on the counter once they reach the kitchen, and Tommy stands awkwardly behind Phil, wringing his hands.
Phil hands out instructions for both of them, with that warm tone in his voice that made Tommy feel safe. They work in silence. Tommy doesn’t bother pressing buttons when he’s getting his hands dirty, and Techno isn’t very talkative anyways. Phil just accommodates it, giving the occasional comment, the occasional smile. It feels nice, very nice. Tommy never cooked with his family, they just weren’t the type. Really, they didn’t cook much in general. Frozen foods and takeout were a staple, he’d say. Sometimes kids at school told him he was lucky. He didn’t really get how it was lucky, but he always laughed along anyways.
Now, sitting in a slightly too crowded kitchen, cooking with Phil and Techno, he felt a lot more lucky. He felt at home, that warm fuzzy feeling he didn’t really understand before this house. The meal is done before long, and they all sit down together, they eat together, they share that peaceful silence. Tommy relishes in it. He thinks he should be more anxious, more panicky. He thinks he shouldn’t be accepting these feelings so easily.
But it seems impossible to fight, so he lets it wash over him, even as he notices how calm he is, how childish he's behaving. He isn’t acting like himself, but everything is so much easier than it normally is. He doesn’t try to fight it, he doesn’t try to understand, to search through the back of his mind for answers.
He stays at the table after finishing his plate. Techno does too, he usually does. He’s reading his book again, and Tommy manages to grab his tablet, and asks if he can read it outloud. He wouldn’t do that, usually, wouldn’t even consider it. But Techno just nods, doesn’t even give a questioning look. His voice sounds nice, and Tommy remembers the few times his mother had read him bedtime stories. They’re cozy memories, the type he wishes he could roll up in and fall asleep cradling. He leans back against his chair, and tries to pay attention to whatever story Techno had moved on to now.
Tommy understands why Techno likes it. He wishes he was still able to read like he used to. He had loved reading as a child, he devoured books in days. Now the sentences just swam in his brain, struggling to find a footing, and he just found himself rereading the same passages over and over until he got bored. He figures that’s why he moved to drawing. No matter how many times his pencil danced on the paper, he still got something in the end that he could at least look back on, maybe even be proud of.
Tommy doesn’t notice when Techno stops reading for a few minutes, until the silence hits him. He looks up, and Techno is giving him a strange look. He furrows his eyebrows and Techno puts his book down.
“You feel safe with me, right?” Tommy tilts his head. He startles a bit at the question, but he nods anyway, doesn’t take more than a minute to think about it. Techno nods back, thoughtfully, before picking his book back up. He starts reading again, and Tommy doesn’t think about it any more than that. He has a small smile on his face when Techno flips the pages back to read him the story of Theseus, properly this time.
Tommy’s eyes are feeling heavy, when Techno reaches the end of the story. He puts his book down again, and Tommy sits up straighter. He frowns, and opens his mouth in argument.
“Hey, no, you read so good! Keep going, please?” Techno gives him a strange look, one that Tommy hasn’t seen yet, despite the many weird looks he had received already, but he gives a small shake of his head.
“I can read more later, but it’s almost time for dinner. I was just gonna get Phil.” Tommy twists his head to look at the oven, surprised when he reads 6:32. He hadn’t noticed the time pass, or the sun slowly make its way down, when Techno was reading. He had just fallen so far back in his own mind, enjoying the lull of Techno’s voice. Now, as the silence settled in, he noticed the growl of his stomach, and the ache in his legs from sitting on a wooden chair for so long.
He hurries to stand up, as Techno leaves to get Phil. Tommy stretches his arms over his head, hearing that sickening crack his shoulders always did when he didn’t move for too long. He walked over to the living room, peering over to see Techno standing in the doorway of Phils office. He hears a quiet exchange, and they both walk over.
“Hey, mate, how do you feel about pasta again? We still have a lot left over from lunch.” Tommy gives a nod, and a small thumbs up. He frowns at his own reaction before pushing his arm down, nodding again. Phil gives a smile, again, the one that can’t seem to leave his face, and Techno moves over next to him and sits on the couch. Tommy quietly follows behind.
“Uh, sorry, Tech, for making you read for so long.” Techno looks over at him and frowns.
“It’s fine, Theseus, I like reading.” Tommy just gives an awkward nod in response, and doesn’t dare say anything more.
When Phil calls them back to the dining table, Tommy gives a sigh of relief, finally walking away from the tense silence he had caused. He sits down in the same spot he’d been in earlier, only distantly noticing that the chair he had knocked over earlier was back in its spot now, pushed against the table carefully. Phil passes out their plates, and sits down with his own.
“I’m glad you two are spending time together.” Techno gives a small smile, before glancing back to Tommy. He doesn’t say anything, he isn’t sure if he’s supposed to, but he smiles back. He didn’t know he and Techno were meant to spend time together. Or encouraged to? Phil’s statement confuses him, is what he means. But he’s glad to be spending time with Techno too, so maybe it’s not the worst expectation to have been put on his back.
The pasta tastes as good as it did during lunch, and it doesn’t take long for everyone to be standing up, one by one, pushing chairs back and putting plates away. When Techno walks over to the living room couch, Tommy can’t help but follow. He sits down beside him, and idly notices the book tucked under his arm. It isn’t the mythology book he seems so enamoured with, it’s something else, a book Tommy hasn’t seen before.
“Do you still want me to read to you?” Tommy wants to say no, because asking in the first place had been dumb, some childish part of his brain fighting for comfort he didn’t need. But Techno doesn’t seem to mind. He just waits for an answer, patiently, pinching the first page between his fingers. So Tommy gives a shy nod, small, that he almost hopes Techno doesn’t notice.
He does, and he starts reading, still in the same slow pace as before, that lets Tommy take in every word that comes out of his mouth. He leans back against the couch, and lets his head roll back on the cushions. The story Techno is telling still revolves around greek mythology. Tommy can guess he’s passionate. He enjoys the story, it’s something for kids, he thinks, but it isn’t childish enough to be insulting.
Techno does voices for every character, impressions he seems to have deeply internalized. It’s the type of effort his mother didn’t even put in when he was 5 and begged every night for the one picture book they had that he liked. It feels nostalgic in a way, even if it’s something he hasn’t experienced. It feels like it should be nostalgic, like it should be familiar, like it should bring back memories of childhood and dreams. It doesn’t. It’s a brand new experience, a brand new memory, already cementing its way into his mind.
He lets himself be lulled to sleep, as the sky fills up with dark blues and black. The last thing he sees is the stars starting to shine through the window.