Chapter Text
In this world, soulmates will get a tattoo of the first thing their soulmate(s) draw for them on their 16th birthday. It doesn't matter if it's a doodle or an elaborate painting, it'll be there.
So when Sapnap wakes up and finds two penis drawings on his hip, he has a crisis for a multitude of reasons. For one, his soulmates are either going to be bullies or immature weirdos like him. Two, he can't expose this out in public. Three, his dads will want to see it and he can’t show them this????
Sapnap thinks about what excuse he's going to give his parents as he gets ready for school, and so when he sits at the table for breakfast he tries not to talk. Skeppy made some good fish so it's not difficult to scarf it down, but Bad tries to inquire about the drawing.
They wish him a happy birthday, and Bad asks if he got a doodle on his skin and if so then how many. Sapnap gets awkward and says it doesn't matter, and Bad points out that he's been so excited since he was a kid. After a while of him deflecting questions, he suddenly has an idea on how to get out of this. He says that he does have two doodles, but he can’t let them see because . . . he pauses here.
Bad is confused, “Because?”
Sapnap tries to make it seem as though he’s more embarrassed than he really is and looks down. “Its uhm . . . on my ass.”
Bad looks slightly mortified and Skeppy bursts out laughing.
It's safe to say that Bad completely changes his mind about wanting to see the tattoo and tells Sapnap not to worry about showing them.
Later on his way to school, he hopes that his friends won't ask about it. He tries to think of ways to avoid questions or suspicion.
Surprisingly, things go better here. When his friends ask, he just says it's on his leg so he can't show them without taking off his pants. Then, after failing to avoid someone's joke about this, he says it's just dumb little stick people doodles and everyone leaves it alone.
Then, for a while after that . . . well, not much happens. The only time he really thinks about the penis drawings are when he's getting dressed or showering and sees it.
He just can't help but wonder from time to time who would draw that for him and why.
Eventually, Sapnap sort of decides that he won't let not knowing his soulmate(s) keep him from trying to date other people.
He's got his heart set on two boys from his school, both in his history class.
Karl is nice, bubbly, and very cute.
Quackity is funny and adorable.
Of course, Sapnap has no idea if anything will happen between any of them because for one, he has no idea if they know who their soulmates are, and two, he's too awkward and shy to ask them out even if he thinks it would go well.
So, he just keeps his crushes a secret to himself.
However, fate is a silly bitch. Somehow, he ends up with both Quackity and Karl in his bedroom.
No, it's not like that.
They needed a printer to use for their essays because they don't have any and the library is closed early Thursday. Literally the day before it's due. And like always, they had procrastinated, then exclaimed to each other in class that they were screwed. Sapnap doesn't know how he managed to gain the courage, but he offered for them to come to his house and use his printer.
So later he found himself panicking because his room is a bit messy and his dads could potentially embarrass him in front of them.
Luckily, his dads are out of the house when he gets there.
And then they're in his bedroom, and he's showing them how to use the computer to print things from their accounts.
Sapnap pretends like his heart isn't running a marathon in his chest.
Still, when they're done and are getting ready to leave, he knows he won't feel anxious anymore, and yet he's also kind of upset.
Sapnap wants to make a move to ask them out somehow but just doesn't have any ideas. But then Karl saves the day by pointing out something on his bookshelf. It's a copy of a film from an older cartoon which was extremely rare to come across. Karl is interested in how he got it and saying he never got to see it, so he's jealous.
Sapnap takes the chance, and asks if he wants to watch it. He expects Karl to say yes and to ask to borrow it, but instead Karl asks if they can all watch it. Quackity even agrees.
. . . What?
Did he just unintentionally invite them to stay at his house longer?
Holy shit!
So they end up watching it on Sapnap's bed because his old ass laptop actually still has the dvd player in it. He tries not to freak out at the fact that his two crushes are hanging out on his bed on either side of him, and very closely, and he also tries to focus on the film.
After the movie is over, they somehow end up hanging out longer. Sapnap gets energy drinks from the fridge and they end up talking about themselves and their interests for a while.
Then Sapnap has to use the bathroom, and he leaves for a moment.
Then when he comes back, he's met with an interesting sight.
Karl and Quackity are holding his laptop and giggling a bit. He asks what they're doing and then he sees what they've done.
On his laptop written in black marker are two dicks, ones that he'd recognize anywhere!
Sapnap stands there in shock, but the other two must misinterpret what’s going on in his mind.
Karl looks nervous as he says, "okay, sorry, we thought it would be funny, but don't worry, it wipes off, see?"
Karl wipes his sleeve on the laptop, and yet the marker doesn't come off. His nonchalant expression then turns to one of panic. He starts rubbing it harder.
Quackity smacks him on the arm and says, "dude, stop rubbing it so hard you've ruined it.”
Karl keeps rubbing. "Nooo honk, noooo . . ."
Quackity, "Dude, stop rubbing the fucking dicks.”
Karl, "I need to rub the dicks, for Sapnap's laptop's sake!"
Sapnap, "It's not gonna come off, dude, stop rubbing the dicks."
They both look to Sapnap sheepishly, and Karl moreso.
Karl laughs nervously, "Uhm, I'm really sorry, but I do this to my laptop all the time and it always wipes off. I guess yours is a different material.”
Sapnap shakes his head, "I can just paint something over it . . . but . . . uhm, that's not what I'm freaked out about.”
They look at him confused.
He walks up to the bed in front of them and pulls his pants down just slightly, and they both jump back, covering their eyes.
Karl, "Woah, dude, uhm, okay listen—”
Sapnap blushes, "Ah, wait, I'm sorry, I didn't think about it, just. Look, it's nothing bad."
They hesitantly look up at him and find that he's really only pulled his pants down to show his left hip bone, and on it are the two dicks, which are drawn on the laptop.
Quackity startles. "Oh shit.”
“No way,” Karl mutters.
“Yeah, uh . . .” Sapnap puts his pants back into place.
Quackity bursts out laughing, "your soulmate tattoes are fucking penises, dude! I can't breathe!”
Karl joins in and Quackity ends up clutching his stomach from laughing so hard.
Yeah, Sapnap feels kind of embarrassed now.
When they calm down, Karl again apologizes for him and Quackity messing up his laptop, and Sapnap says it's okay.
Even though this was the most embarrassing moment of his life, at least he found his soulmates.