Chapter Text
The waves of Destiny Islands are pleasantly warm in the afternoon sun as they splash against the warm sand. Both Vanitas and Sora are standing upon the shoreline, hands interconnected as they watch the distant horizon haloed by crystal clear water.
Vanitas is silent, standing hand in hand with Sora as he contemplates the ocean. It reminds him of the darkness, where one wrong move could mercilessly pull you under into fathomless dark depths. Normally, the notion of the darkness from whence he was born would be a great comfort, but ever since that conversation with Namine a few days ago, everything that Vanitas once knew has been brought into turmoil.
Truth be told, he still wrestled with whether he would accept her offer or not.
It didn’t take a genius to realize that his life here on Destiny Islands is so much more than he ever could have dreamed of. His appetite has been greatly improving, thanks to the medicine from the scientists at Radiant Garden, and both Sora and Suzume’s attentive nature helped immensely with any setbacks he has had thus far.
Plus, Vanitas wasn’t stupid. He could recognize that simply feeling safe for once in his life made all the difference to both his mind and heart.
That feeling cements itself further into his heart the longer he stays here, and he has no wish to tamper with it. After all, if he were to be swept back into the darkness, under the depths and into that dark world, would he have to starve again? Would the nightmares return? Would the chronic pain in his heart worsen?
Would he still be as he is now?
Vanitas must have been standing in the sand for quite a long time today, contemplating these thoughts. Sora had been catching him staring off into the water lately whenever they came out here to spar together on the play island. He had said that Vanitas’s expression resembled what he had looked like back during that night in the rain, as if he wanted to fully experience the waves but didn’t know how.
‘Do you want to go in?’ Sora had asked.
‘Maybe.’ Vanitas had hummed, not tearing his eyes away from the sight of the sun glinting off the water. ‘I’m not sure why I want to go in lately anyway.’
After all, Vanitas has lived here for several months at this point and barely put a single toe in the ocean. This new desire to venture in had come with no warning, subtle at first though growing by the day.
Sora looked out at the ocean, contemplating.
‘You think it could be cause of…?’
Vanitas gazed at him, noting his twin was looking towards the distant lighthouse.
‘No. I don’t think so.’ Vanitas had dismissed the thought. ‘This is something else. But I don’t know what.’
‘Hm… you know, Vani,’ Sora started, ‘Sometimes you can do things just because you want to. You don’t need to have a reason.’
Vanitas raised a brow.
‘I know that.’
‘But do you really, though?’
Vanitas looked at Sora, trying to decipher the subtle jab of that question, but there is none. Sora was genuinely curious if Vanitas knows he can simply do things because he wishes it. Simply exist because he wants to.
‘I want to go in the ocean.’ Vanitas admitted after a few moments of contemplative silence.
‘Then I’ll go with you.’
And so here they are venturing in. Together.
Sora is patient with him, as he surprisingly always is when it matters most, and eventually, Vanitas steps closer to the water, watching it ebb and flow against the hot sand before coming to encircle around his toes. Sora steps with him, letting his twin lead their progress as Vanitas catches sight of a small crab scuttling nearby. Its presence is so carefree in the water, enjoying the gentle current and rays of the sun as it shuffles along.
Seeing it gives Vanitas some strength to venture further in until water is wrapped around his ankles.
Already this much is farther than he’s ever dared to go.
It’s odd, but not bad.
Neutral. That’s the word that Suzume had said once.
He can feel the push and pull against his skin as the tide washes in and out. But when the sand beneath his feet starts to disintegrate and he sinks into the grains, he takes a half step back with a startle.
Sora remains in the water, a silent rock of encouragement as Vanitas contemplates trying again. That feeling of something pulling his feet under… it’s familiar and upsetting. A reminder of darkened days.
But Sora is here with him now, and Vanitas trusts him to keep them both on the surface.
So, Vanitas tries again, this time walking further out to submerge his feet until the waves lap against where his pants have been folded up near his knees.
The two of them stand like that for some time, listening to the calls of seagulls overhead and the churning bellow of the water rolling against the grains of the shore.
Vanitas eventually turns to Sora.
‘Thanks.’ Is all he says in gratitude.
Sora smiles.
‘Hey, what are twins for?’
Vanitas can only shrug in response. He knows what twins are, but anything beyond that still eludes him.
Twins… That girl, Olette, had mentioned something about them during dinner in Twilight Town. About how twins can finish each other’s sentences or were able to know what each other is thinking. She had described it as something that everyone should know, as just common knowledge, but it was the first that Vanitas had ever heard of it.
He knows that he has a strong bond with Sora, one much stronger than he ever had with Ventus that’s for sure. But if there is supposed to be something otherworldly about their relationship, maybe Vanitas just hasn’t found it yet.
‘You know, twins are a pretty rare thing.’ Sora comments. From his expression, Vanitas can tell that he’s also been thinking about the same things. ‘And even then, it’s even rarer that they look the same. There’s only one other set of twins on the islands. You know, those two little girls we sometimes see around town? They look nothing alike, though.’
Vanitas hums at this, having figured as much. The two of them would often get complimented in public on this world. Destiny Islands is small enough that the gossip train had gone around already, informing pretty much everyone that Vanitas is one of Suzume’s long-lost sons that finally found his way back home. More than once, someone would stop Suzume and tell her how blessed she is for having identical twins. They would ask what it was like now that they found each other again, how it was going raising Vanitas and Sora together now, which parent they got what features from, how it had gone with the town hall etc.
The obnoxious list went on and on. Simple, invasive questions that Suzume answered with a smile, even though she never had to. She always looked so proud of him and Sora in those moments, though, so he never bothered to speak up.
‘What being twins means to the two of us for now, though, is just that we share a birthday.’ Sora continues with a grin. ‘And you better believe we’re going to have a great one this year.’
‘A birthday…’ Vanitas chews on the word. He knows what it means but hesitates to come up with anything associated with it other than multi-colored balloons and presents. ‘I guess I’d like to know what it’s all about someday.’
‘Right…’ Sora’s face grows sad, already knowing without being told that Vanitas has never celebrated before. ‘Well, you know, Mother’s Day is coming up soon. We should plan something for mom, so you can get a feel for how celebrations are supposed to go.’
‘Hm…’ Vanitas hums.
Mother’s Day… he’s never heard of it, but the name must be self-explanatory, right?
‘It’s a celebration. But it’s not a birthday?’ Vanitas raises a dark brow, not understanding.
‘No, but close enough I think.’ Sora admits. ‘There’s usually food, presents and cake. Oh! And flowers too. Mom loves them. Especially ones that she can plant outside for the bees.’
Vanitas furrows his brow, pondering more on this concept.
Celebrating something for someone else has never been on his radar. He’s been alone for so many years, and even when he was with others, the Organization was obviously never the celebrating type.
This would be something new. Something for Suzume specifically.
With a distant breath he realizes that it’s also probably something a son should do for his mother.
If that’s the case, then how could he refuse?
Suzume is thankfully out on a removal when the twins arrive home, leaving them with plenty of time to brainstorm how to best celebrate Mother’s Day. Sora brings Vanitas into the backyard, both of them waving to Luna as she’s busy teaching her afternoon class.
They stop over near some hives settled on the edge of their property. Vanitas has seen these particular ones many times before. There’s a whole line of them made with different building materials, each unique with different colors, patterns, and shapes. They are so unlike any of the other professionally kept and categorized hives nearer to the shop, and he often wondered what they could be for, or what they could represent.
Suzume and Luna never used them for classes, nor were they used for harvesting. They were still a little puzzle that Vanitas had yet to figure out in this home. Something to ponder and pre-occupy his brain with from the now relaxed familiarity of his window nook.
He watches with interest as Sora casually walks up to the unusual hives with all the confidence in the world. Admittedly, Vanitas has only seen Sora interact with the bees maybe a handful of times, and he does so just like their mother; without any protective equipment and with a well-practiced, gentle nature forged over many years of working together alongside the insects.
Vanitas can feel a jealous twinge pull at his chest as he begrudgingly puts on his beekeeping suit, knowing that Suzume would only scold him about it if she were here.
She would tell him that he’s not ready for that yet. It wasn’t a race, she’s said that to him many times and he knows that, but still he feels the need to hurry. Hurry to learn and grow faster in this home, to fit in more than he’s already been told he does.
It’s a foreign, selfish feeling, one that he knows Sora and Suzume would most likely not understand. They already see him as part of the family, even more so now there’s legal documents to prove it, but still, all Vanitas can see sometimes is distance, simple nuances that he doesn’t understand or stories he wasn’t here for.
It's frustrating.
‘These are the hives I made for mom over the past few years.’ Sora says with a flourish, lightly removing the outer top cover of the oldest looking hive.
Vanitas looks it over with a critical eye, now noticing that Sora’s name is written on the underside of the cover, along with the number 8. Sora then moves on to the next one and lifts the lid to show his name again above the number 9. Vanitas glances at the rest of the hives, noting that each one seems to grow better with each iteration. Sturdier and larger, with different colors and themes to catch the eyes of any passerby.
He supposes it wouldn’t be abnormal to know that Sora has made these. His twin does make a lot of things out of wood, after all, and Vanitas always catches Sora tinkering with something new every now and again at his desk.
Though now knowing why causes a small pang to twinge in Vanitas’s heart as he looks again at the number hidden underneath the cover Sora’s holding.
‘I just kind of started making them one year with dad, and now it’s become an annual thing I do on my own for mom.’ Sora says and returns the lid to its proper place. Vanitas watches his brother’s face carefully for any distress, but Sora genuinely seems happy to share this bit of information with Vanitas as he turns them back towards the house. ‘C’mon, though, I’ll show you the one I’m working on for this year.’ He leads his brother inside and into his room, where he’s stashed pieces of cedar wood away in his closet. ‘I’m still working out the details but it’s going to look like this when it’s done.’ Sora then reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out a picture to show Vanitas.
The drawing is a bit crude, Sora has never been the best artist after all, but Vanitas can clearly make out the recognizable shape.
‘This is the house.’ Vanitas says, seeing the familiar deck, windows, and mailbox, along with the familiar sign on the front lawn for the shop.
‘Our house.’ Sora corrects him and snatches the paper back. ‘I’m going to make little figures of you, me, mom and Jewel too.’ He says, showing off a small wood carving that’d been stashed away in his desk. It’s shaped like a dog but has not been painted yet. ‘Mother’s Day is for showing your mom that you care.’ He sits down at his desk, looking contemplative as he crosses his arms. ‘Lots of people buy presents, but it’s usually a lot more special if you can make something. That’s why I make the hives. Mom can use them, and I know she gets a kick out of showing them off to new students.’ He grins, before looking towards Vanitas. ‘Any idea what you think you’d want to do for her, Vani?’
Vanitas grows silent, pondering the question as he looks over Sora’s project with interest.
He’s never genuinely made something on his own before, whether it be for himself or for someone else. The only thing that comes to mind would be his Unversed, but why in the worlds would anyone want one of them?
‘I don’t know…’ He admits. ‘But I’ll come up with something.’
In the end, Vanitas still doesn’t have an answer for Sora a few weeks later, much to his chagrin. His twin had mentioned that he would gladly go shopping with Vanitas to pick out a present, but that idea doesn’t sit right with him either.
Sora is making something for their mother. Vanitas should too. But what?
Eventually his brooding is noticed by Riku, who catches him sulking in the sand one day after training.
‘Alright. What’s eating you?’ Riku comes to sit beside Vanitas who is lying on the beach, watching the waves roll in with his chin atop his hands.
‘Nothing.’ Vanitas frowns, his brow furrowed and his expression serious.
‘Like I’d believe that. If looks could kill, you’d have wiped out the whole ocean by now.’ Riku chuckles. ‘What’s wrong?’
Vanitas only frowns deeper, refusing to answer.
‘Vani’s just upset because he still doesn’t know what to make for Mother’s Day this weekend.’ Sora explains as he comes to join the two of them. He flops down and hands a bottle of water to Riku, before sticking one in the sand next to Vanitas’s elbow.
His twin doesn’t respond to the offered drink, only glaring at the ocean as if it has all the answers.
‘Oh, so that’s it.’ Riku hums. ‘You don’t have to make anything, you know. Moms usually just like to spend time with you, so I always buy my mom some flowers and spend the day with her.’ Riku says gently as an example, knowing intently that Vanitas has still been struggling with what it means to be a son and fit into a family. ‘Did Suzume say she wants anything specific?’
‘No.’ Vanitas answers, his voice hard.
Both he and Sora have tried to broach the subject with her, but their mother apparently is very avoidant when it comes to anything she might potentially want for herself.
‘Oh no, I’m perfectly fine.’ Suzume had said one day when the three of them were driving home from the grocery store. Sora had pointed out the new jewelry shop that offered classes for custom made bracelets and asked if Suzume might ever want one for herself. ‘I’d just end up ruining it. I’ve never been one for girly things like jewelry or makeup anyway.’
‘So you’d rather have something you can use?’ Vanitas had raised a brow.
‘Well, no. I already have everything we would ever need at home.’ Suzume had looked fondly through the rear-view mirror at her two sons in the back seat. ‘Besides, I already have you two, what more could I need?’ Her words caused Sora to smile, and Vanitas to shuffle in his seat and look away. He missed how a suspicious glint came over her eyes. ‘Why do you ask anyway?’
Both Sora and Vanitas shared a look, before they both shrugged together at the same time.
‘No reason.’
After they had gotten home that day, Vanitas had turned to Sora with an exasperated expression. How could you make something for someone that doesn’t want anything at all?
Ever since, Vanitas had been left puzzling over what to do for what felt like ages now.
‘Hm.’ Riku hums, pondering over Vanitas’s predicament. ‘Then how about we go to a craft store?’
At this suggestion, Vanitas sits up on his elbows and turns to Riku properly, willing him to continue.
‘There’s plenty of things to choose from, and at the very least you could find some ideas to work off of.’ Riku shrugs, taking a sip of his water.
‘Oh, that’s a good idea.’ Sora agrees. ‘Actually! You know who also might have some good suggestions?’ He snaps his fingers. ‘Namine! She’s always making artsy stuff. Maybe she could help too! I can’t believe I never thought of that til now.’ He turns to his brother. ‘Vani, do you have her number?’
‘Yea.’ Vanitas hums and takes out his phone from his back pocket. ‘I’ll text her.’
During their trip to Twilight Town, Namine had thought it might be a good idea to exchange numbers. At the time it had been under the excuse of just in case they ever got separated, but looking back she probably also did that to ensure he could reach out to her in the future if he ever needed to talk.
As Vanitas is tapping his phone to find her contact number, though, something catches his senses, and he subtly glances at Riku in question.
There again, clear as day, is that jealousy rearing its head once more in Riku’s heart. This time, though, there is less distance between him and Riku, so Vanitas can more accurately decipher it.
Jealousy is a somewhat unique emotion in that it always has to have a source. Most other emotions do not need to be aimed at something in particular to exist in someone’s heart, but jealousy always has a strong origin, often one that Vanitas can detect with ease.
As Vanitas examines the emotion more thoroughly, though, he notices that it’s not connected to anyone or anything. Instead it’s merely festering in Riku’s heart, with the source nowhere nearby like it had been back during that day in Twilight Town.
So Riku is obviously not jealous of Vanitas, considering that the two of them are still very much sitting right next to each other.
No. Instead, Riku is jealous… of Namine?
For what?
Vanitas raises an eyebrow, glancing away from Riku as he proceeds with his task of texting Namine, keeping it short and sweet.
“Hey. Any ideas for beginner arts and crafts?”
The girl replies not even a minute later, making his phone jingle with a sweet tune.
“Painting kits could be a good idea! They’re pretty fun and easy to find in stores.”
As Vanitas reads over the text, he is unsurprised to feel his teacher’s silent jealousy flare up next to him again. He casts a glance over at Riku, who is now casually talking to Sora about that game they always play.
Vanitas’s phone jingles again, and this time he more accurately senses the emotion, but watches as there is no outward showing of it on Riku’s face. It’s so obvious that he’s trying to hide it. But why?
He raises a dark eyebrow, thoroughly confused, as he turns his attention back to his phone.
“Let me know how it turns out! 😊”
The three of them decide to go to the craft store later that same day, and Vanitas feels a new sense of vigor overcoming his heart from Namine’s suggestion.
Great. He has a plan, a destination. This will be fine.
The craft store, however, is overwhelming and bright, and has an acrid smell of paint that permeates Vanitas’s nose as he, Sora and Riku enter the building. Stores have admittedly never been a pleasant experience for him. There are always children running around, people in his way, idiots walking in his personal bubble or salespeople trying to pull him into conversation.
It’s very overwhelming for his limited social tolerance, but he decides to put up with it for now and follows Sora as his twin confidently strolls into the crowded store.
‘Ooo what about one of these?’ Sora asks, pointing to a display of seemingly blank posters up ahead. Upon closer inspection, they have black lines and numbers on them, forming outlines of pictures.
Riku takes one of the posters from the shelf, inspecting the contents on the back.
‘It’s a paint by numbers kit. Looks like all you’d have to do is follow the instructions.’ He hums, putting it back and flipping through the rest. ‘They’ve got ones for a bouquet of flowers, some landscapes, or there’s a few animals.’
Vanitas watches as Riku flips through each poster, looking them over with a frown and a critical eye.
‘They’ve got a horse one.’ Sora motions for Riku to stop on that one in particular. ‘Mom likes horses.’ He offers, crossing his arms behind his head with a smile. ‘She always said if she won a lot of money we’d move to live on a farm with tons of horses.’
Vanitas raises an eyebrow at the notion, but in the end, doesn’t feel a connection with the offered picture or any of the others. He doesn’t want to make something for Suzume that someone else has already drawn for him. It wouldn’t feel right.
Sora and Riku proceed to follow Vanitas as he takes off to look around the store, offering helpful advice for what feels like hours. Nothing feels good enough, though.
Whatever he makes for Suzume should be perfect.
He owes her the world, and he knows it. The least he can do is give it his all for Mother’s Day.
‘What about this?’ Riku stops their group, taking a different kit off the shelf. ‘It’s for rock painting.’
Vanitas looks over the box with curiosity as Riku holds it up to read the back.
‘Create the perfect accessory for your garden. Hm.’ Riku looks over the example of cutely painted rocks on the front of the kit, before handing it off to Vanitas. ‘If you’re looking for something that you can practice with, that might be it. The play island alone has enough rocks for a thousand tries.’
Vanitas looks it over, trying to ignore the expectant gaze in Sora’s eyes.
‘And it’s a painting kit.’ He grins. ‘Just like Namine said!’
Painting rocks… it doesn’t sound too hard. Plus, Riku is right. He could always try again if he doesn’t like the way it turned out. There’s certainly enough paint in here to warrant it after all.
‘I’ll get this one.’
The next day, once Sora and Vanitas have finished their training, they set to work with creating their presents right as Luna finishes with her last class and Suzume is still away on a removal. By now, Sora has been making steady progress on his own project and has moved on to the painting phase.
Last night, after Suzume had gone to sleep, Sora had pulled Vanitas into his room to help with coloring the beehive’s shutters burgundy and its roof blue to match their house. Vanitas had been grateful for the offered practice session at the time, but had quickly found out that he’s not good at it in the slightest, and his confidence to draw on such simple things as rocks had dwindled to basically zero.
Even so, Sora had complimented him on his progress.
‘You’re doing great, Vani.’ Sora had said, watching as his brother stroked the brush up and down the roof of the house.
‘I think you’re exaggerating.’ Vanitas had huffed, his hands unsteady and his lines messy. The roof looked like a mishmash of strokes, all of them drying in different ways as some spots quite obviously had more paint than others.
‘It’s nothing I can’t fix later.’ Sora laughed anyway. ‘Besides, you’ve never painted anything before ever. Give yourself more credit than that!’
Vanitas tries to remember his brother’s words now as he sits at one of the empty classroom tables in the backyard with his paints. The other members of Suzume’s staff had said their goodbyes to him and Sora already, with Freya informing them that Suzume had to drive pretty far to get to her removals of the day and would probably not be back for a while.
The thought lifted a great weight off of Vanitas’s shoulders, knowing the extra padding of time would no doubt be useful as he examines the plethora of colors laid out on a paper plate in front of him.
They’re just waiting to be used to create something beautiful. He just has to decide what.
Vanitas sighs and looks over the colors. Believe it or not, even after so much time spent living here on the islands, some of them are still quite new to him.
Oranges and browns are the most familiar and hold the muted tones of the desert wasteland where he was born. Even so, they bring about a sick feeling to his stomach. He never wanted to go back there, and as such decided to leave those colors behind as he sought out some inspiration.
Greens could go well for grass or trees, but it also reminded him of Ventus. It had admittedly been their favorite color before the two of them were split apart, and Vanitas was sure that it was still that idiot’s favorite color, and that thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Blue could make a good ocean view, perhaps one to match the picturesque scene of the play island showing through the window in Sora’s bedroom. But blue… it was a dangerous color. One that reminded him of Aqua and her multitude of spells.
Red and pink… both of them are good options. Red could be used to depict Sora, as that was his favorite color, and also the shade that now covered the walls of his room since returning from the keyblade war. Pink on the other hand was a color he had never seen since before coming here. He remembered catching glimpses of it on the dress of that girl Sora talks to on the phone every night. Perhaps he could draw the pink hibiscus flowers that grow in the potted plants Suzume hangs on the deck, or the pink roses sitting on the dining room table that she had gotten as an early Mother’s Day Gift from some of her students.
All good options, but still lacking inspiration for some reason.
The next color along the row has Vanitas pausing.
Yellow… it should have made him think of Ventus. Or of the guardians of light and their stupid sunny disposition. Instead, though, his mind drifted to Suzume, and the golden honey that they made together, the pale yellow color of her hair, and the very many yellow bees under her care.
Before Vanitas knows it, he’s already painting a crude drawing of a bee onto the nearest rock. It comes out jagged and sloppy, as if a three-year-old had drawn it instead.
Immediately Vanitas regrets every insult he’s ever made regarding Sora’s prowess with drawing. He’s not much better at all, even on rocks.
Another thing the two of them have in common apparently.
Unimpressed, Vanitas sets the rock down and tries again, this time concentrating on keeping his hands steady. But Vanitas still struggles to do anything with his hands that requires fine motor skills. Hell, he even struggles to write his own name half the time. The muscles in his fingers are hard from practicing for years with the keyblade, and doing such small delicate tasks like painting does not come easy to him at all.
This was one of those times, as one jerk of his fingers had a dark streak of black messing up the outline he had carefully been working to create on the rock. A snarl comes over his face and he put the rock aside along with the other reject.
He continues to practice on several more rocks, growing more and more frustrated with each one as his hands do not cooperate with what his mind clearly envisions.
He should be able to do this. He clenches his fingers, willing them to obey what his mind envisions, but the digits only shake, messing up another rock.
Maybe he should switch tactics? Riku had been teaching that lately in their lessons.
He could draw something else. But what? Maybe some hives? Not the manmade ones. Real ones, like he’s seen in removals or in Luna’s books.
He takes a deep, calming breath and draws a few of them on one rock, letting inspiration slowly sweep him away as he ends up drawing the hexagonal shape of honeycombs, little larvae, flowers, and jars of honey onto a few rocks. He even paints pictures of Suzume, himself, Sora, and Jewel, ending up with a large collage of painted rocks by the end of his creative streak.
As he’s finally feeling like he’s getting somewhere, however, he messes up again by streaking the colors on the last rock with one ill-timed jerky movement. The black paint sails off the brush and splashes onto another rock he’d painted of Suzume.
Vanitas stares at it in shock, anger coursing through his veins as he can feel an irritated Unversed crawling under his skin. He’s been at this for so long already, and one look at Sora shows the passage of time as his brother has now finished his task of painting the rest of the house and is putting on the finishing touches for his project.
The Unversed in his system shifts under his skin, eager to escape and cause relief to the enraged emotion he feels coursing through his heart. He feels so angry with himself, so furious that he can’t do this one simple thing when it matters most.
Xehanort was right. Vanitas can never do anything right.
In the end, the Unversed never does manage to escape his furious heart, as in a fit of rage, Vanitas sees red and hurls the offending rock away with great force.
He feels a deep sense of relief from his pent-up emotions for all of one second until the ear piecing sound of shattering glass fills the air.
He quickly looks up and gasps as he sees one of the windows to Suzume’s shop is now broken.
Sora has a similar expression on his face as he looks between Vanitas and the window, before both boys scurry into the building to see the damage.
The rock had careened through the window, smashing glass models and miniature hives along the way before it had landed on the shelf where Suzume and Freya keep the honey jars. One of the jars is broken into jagged pieces, leaving an oozing mess of glass and golden honey on the shelf and the formerly clean floor.
Vanitas feels a painful lump settle in his throat at the sight, knowing exactly how hard Suzume and the others had worked to make that honey.
‘Vanitas…’ Sora is at a loss for words as he takes a step towards him.
Both of them are in shock with how to react. Vanitas has had his fair share of outbursts since coming to live here, sure, but they have never been physical in the slightest up until now.
‘I…’ Vanitas starts. ‘I didn’t mean…’
Both boys startle though as the sound of a car pulling into the driveway breaks the tension filled atmosphere. They share a look, before scrambling back to their projects.
Sora hurriedly hides his work by pushing it underneath the porch to be hidden under a tarp with all the extra bee hives, while Vanitas quickly gathers his rocks and paints. There is no time to even think about fixing the broken window as the car’s engine grows silent and Suzume’s voice can be heard greeting Jewel at the front door.
‘Hurry!’ Sora whispers as Vanitas stows the still drying collage of rocks in the drawer of the classroom table. He throws the bag of paints to Sora to be hidden underneath the porch just in time as Suzume enters the back yard.
‘Hello boys.’ She smiles at them before turning towards the shop to put her travel bag away. ‘How was…’
She suddenly stops, her eyes widening.
As expected, it didn’t take long for her to notice the damage as she gasps and makes a beeline for the shop. Vanitas can feel lead form in his heart and in his shoes as he and Sora slowly follow behind her.
‘What in the world?’ Suzume looks at a loss for words, her eyebrows upturned in devastation as she prods at the glass and honey covered shelf and floor. Her boots crunch on the glass underneath her feet and she backs up, taking in the extent of the damage.
Something in the way that Vanitas and Sora stay eerily silent must give them away as the guilty party, as in an instant she is turning to them with a highly suspicious gaze.
‘What happened here?’ She demands, hands on her hips and a furrow to her brow.
It’s the first time Vanitas has ever seen her anger directed at him and he pauses, feeling disappointed with himself. He looks over the mess he’d made, at a loss for words.
Sora looks towards Vanitas, his expression empathetic. It’s clear that he does not want his brother to get into trouble, so Sora opens his mouth to take the blame.
Vanitas beats him to it, however, as he takes a step forward.
‘It’s my fault.’ He admits quietly. ‘I did it.’
With Xehanort, bad deeds always needed to be owned up to. Or else the inferring punishment would be ten times worse. Vanitas can still remember being caned or beaten for trying to lie his way out of his mistakes.
The worst was always when Xehanort struck his palms with the flat end of his keyblade. Often times, he would hit Vanitas so hard that the teen lost sensation in his hands, and would be unable to summon his keyblade for hours. Sometimes days at a time.
Those memories seem like a far-off dream now, but Vanitas still has the scars to prove they were real.
Would…. Suzume leave him with scars like that too?
Remembered anticipation and fear runs down his spine as Suzume looks at him with disappointment. His vision blurs and all of sudden he’s not in the shop, but instead in the desert wastes, with a furious golden gaze centered upon him.
He can see Xehanort clearly, the Master raising his keyblade to strike.
Vanitas feels an Unversed escape through his skin and silently pleads for it to run away and find somewhere to hide. Someplace safe to escape the inevitable death it knows will surely be coming for it from the hands of Xehanort.
Vanitas stays still, shivering, but knowing if he runs away now the pain will be that much worse. He instinctively turns his gaze to the barren, sandy ground beneath his feet and offers up the palms of his hands.
But the blow never comes.
He blinks, the vision of the graveyard gone in an instant as he’s left looking at the broken glass littered across the floor of the shop.
‘Go to your room Vanitas.’ Suzume sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. ‘I’ll talk to you later about this.’
… What?
Vanitas looks up and tilts his head, not understanding her sudden instructions.
He opens his mouth to question her, but she only shakes her head and points towards the house. There is no room for argument in her gaze.
Vanitas swallows and slowly turns away to head inside, distantly hearing Suzume shoo Sora out of the shop as well.
‘I’ll need to call the repair company.’ He hears her mutter to herself, frustration laced in her voice. ‘Oh, this is going to take days to fix, and there’s new classes tomorrow too.’
Something horrible settles in Vanitas’s stomach as he climbs the stairs to his room, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.
Suzume doesn’t come to see Vanitas until after the sun has already set. During that time, he doesn’t dare to leave his room. Not even when Sora comes to check up on him, or when Jewel paws at the door for some attention.
Alone, Vanitas’s thoughts run rampant. What punishment does Suzume have in store for him? Xehanort had punished him in numerous ways; slashes, punches, slaps, broken bones etc, but he was always quick to execute his reprimands. So that Vanitas knew exactly what he had done to deserve it.
But this… this was something new and terrifying. The anxiety of what his punishment could be has Vanitas tense like a spring as the minutes drag by, waiting for the inevitable to come. Whatever that may be.
When a knock on his door finally comes, Vanitas startles out of his spiraling thoughts, nearly falling out of his seat.
Suzume pokes her head in, something in her gaze softening when she catches Vanitas trying to make himself small in his window nook.
‘You can come out now, Vanitas.’ She says, entering the room and leaving the door open a crack. ‘But first,’ She comes to sit next to him, letting out a breath. ‘I want to hear what happened. Sora told me a few things already, but I’d like to hear your side of the story.’
Vanitas shrugs, feeling stupid for not realizing that she would ask him that first and foremost.
‘It was an accident.’ He says, not having the will to look at her and see the disappointment that is surely lurking in her eyes. ‘I threw something, and it broke the window.’
Suzume is silent for a moment, looking him over with a critical gaze.
‘And what was that something?’ She prods.
He can only shrug in response, unwilling to answer. If he told her the absolute truth, it would ruin the present plans that he’s worked so hard to come up with.
‘Was it this?’
Vanitas whips his head towards her and blanches when he sees that she is holding the rock he had painted. It’s a little scratched, but the paint is still vibrant, clearly showing her face along with some fluttering bees. The black splotches are clearly visible, but are not hindering the picture at all, looking like black polka dots in the background.
‘I…’ He starts, sounding choked.
‘I’m happy I found it.’ She says with a smile, tracing over the now dried picture he had painted. ‘Though, I wished it was under better circumstances.’ She sighs, looking just as unhappy with what she is about to say as he feels. ‘Vanitas, you need to be more careful. If someone had been in the shop, or had been standing in the way, you could have hurt them. Lashing out when you’re angry is never a good thing. And-‘
She suddenly pauses, noticing that Vanitas has grown tense again, and his gaze is settled on his upturned palms laying in his lap. She lets out a breath, confusion showing on her face.
‘You did that before, but I’m not sure what it means.’ She turns to look out the window. ‘I also found an Unversed outside, trying to hide under the floorboards of the shop.’
Vanitas doesn’t look up, already knowing the particular one she is referring to.
A heavy pause settles between them for a few moments before Suzume looks at him, her eyebrows upturned.
‘Its eyes were black. That’s the color of fear, right?’ She asks, remembering the conversation that Vanitas had shared with her and Sora in the flower field of Radiant Garden. ‘I made you afraid?’ Her voice is quiet, as if broken by the mere thought.
‘No!’ Vanitas says with a bit more force than necessary as he hides his hands in his jacket pockets. ‘It’s… instinct. From when I would get punished before. I would get hit there, on my hands.’ He says, trying to ignore Suzume’s horrified expression. ‘But you…’ He looks up at her. ‘You’ve never hit me, not when I’ve messed up or broken other things. I still don’t understand why.’
Suzume’s expression shatters and she gathers her son in her arms without a second thought. ‘Vanitas, honeycomb, I would never hit you. Never.’ She promises with assurance as she places a kiss on his forehead. ‘No matter how many things you break.’
‘But why?’ He asks again despite himself, needing to understand.
‘What that man did to you... it’s not normal at all.’ Suzume says, her voice hard before forcing it to soften in the presence of her son. ‘I know we’ve only talked about it a few times, and probably only scratched the surface of what you’ve gone through. But Vanitas, you’ve seen the way other parents interact with their kids.’ She points out. ‘Remember when our neighbor’s daughter crashed their car into our fence?’
‘Yea.’ He lifts a dark eyebrow, wondering where this is going.
‘Did she get hit for it?’
‘No.’ Vanitas frowns. ‘They made her fix it.’
‘That’s right.’ Suzume nods. ‘And what about that little boy we saw at the supermarket last week? He broke a jar of tomato sauce. Did anyone hit him?’
Vanitas pauses, furrowing his brow as he tries to understand the connection between those two events.
‘His mother made him apologize and help clean it up.’
‘See? Parents don’t hit their children. There are other ways to make sure lessons are learned.’ She looks at him with a small knowing smile. ‘Why do you think I sent you to your room?’
Vanitas pauses, blinking as he looks up at her as if everything suddenly all made sense.
‘Now,’ She runs a hand through his dark spikes soothingly. ‘I don’t know anything about keyblade masters, but I can only guess from the way Riku is teaching you and Sora that he’s never treated you badly?’
‘No.’ Vanitas shakes his head.
If anything, Riku is a model teacher. Maybe a bit too much, if Vanitas were being honest.
‘And I’m willing to bet the other masters are the same way?’
Vanitas can only nod, letting his forehead come to rest on her shoulder as reality slowly sinks in.
If this is the way that adults are really supposed to act, then Xehanort has been doing Vanitas a remarkably huge injustice ever since he was born.
He feels horribly cheated, and a strange sense of embarrassment forms in his chest.
He feels so stupid, so small and used.
‘Oh, my little one.’ She squeezes him tight. ‘I’m so sorry that things happened this way. But you know, just because you had a bad beginning, doesn’t mean everything else in your life has to be that way. Just look at where you are now.’ She says, ‘You have a family, a place to belong, and friends to support you.’
He hums, something warm settling in his chest much like it had during that day in Radiant Garden, melting away all the festering emotions in his heart. This time he can recognize the sensation for what it is.
It’s a feeling of safety. One that’s been growing inside him ever since he started living here.
He feels warm, happy, and the sensation is so strong that it threatens to fly away.
And it does, startling Vanitas as he suddenly pulls away from Suzume and shivers as an Unversed escape from his skin. He had been thinking about her, Sora, Jewel, their home, and the buzzing bees that connected them together, leading the Unversed to form into a peculiar shape.
Both Vanitas and Suzume stare in wonder at the new Unversed. It looks just like a bumble bee, though its colors and size are instantly differentiating from any other Unversed that Vanitas has ever created. Its colors are bright. Golds, oranges, and reds run down its back, and the new creature is barely the size of a golf ball.
He watches with awe as it buzzes and settles into the open palm of Suzume’s hand.
‘That’s…’ He can’t get the words out.
It’s a positive emotion. The first he’s ever created.
‘Is this for me?’ Suzume asks suddenly, chuckling as the fuzzy Unversed snuggles against her fingers, acting on the emotion that created it.
Vanitas can only dumbly nod, not knowing what else to say.
She smiles and kisses his forehead.
‘Thank you, honeycomb. This is the best Mother’s Day I’ve ever had.’
Vanitas hums in acknowledgement and clings to her, finding that he’s quite proud of himself for making her a gift straight from his heart.
‘You’re welcome… mom.’
Bonus Scene:
There haven’t been many nights lately where Vanitas has been compelled to stay awake. There’s no longer a need to verify that he’s safe, as he trusts the locks and alarms Suzume sets for the house, trusts that Jewel will alert him if anything happens, and trusts Sora to fight at his side if needed.
Even so, there are some nights where his body forces him awake in terror, with nightmares gripping his heart and stunting his breath.
Tonight is one of those nights as he awakes violently, his brown eyes searching for any hidden threat. There is none, there never is, but even so his mind will not let him rest. For a few hours he tosses and turns to the tune of the waxing full moon moving light through the sheer window curtains, until he huffs and decidedly gets out of bed.
He walks across the hall, mindful of that one loud floorboard in the middle, and quietly pushes a door open without knocking.
Jewel is the first to notice Vanitas, as she perks up at the sound of him walking towards the bed. Her movement causes someone to stir under the covers.
Vanitas knows that Sora is a heavy sleeper, has been envious of it since coming to live here, when sleep still alluded him badly. As such, he is a bit startled when his twin’s blue eyes pop open with surprise and instinctively center onto him.
‘Vani?’ Sora yawns after slowly recognizing that the new presence in his room isn’t a threat. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Scoot over.’ Is all Vanitas says in explanation, gently pushing Sora away before climbing into bed alongside him.
The bed is the same size as his, Suzume having upgraded it when Sora returned home after the keyblade war. Even so, it’s still a bit small for the two of them, and it takes some time to make sure they are both comfortable.
Jewel stands up with a shake, watching Vanitas settle down before repositioning herself to lay down with half her weight resting on each twin.
‘Bad dream?’ Sora quietly asks, barely able to keep his eyes open as sleep comes to claim him once more.
Vanitas only hums in response, unwilling to admit the truth as he settles down. This bed is different than his, a different smell and feel, but it’s comforting just the same, because it belongs to his brother. Someone that he knows can keep him safe, just as he would for do the same for him.
Vanitas ends up falling asleep shortly after settling into the pillows, both he and Sora pressed together under the covers.
Bonus Bonus Scene:
It’s not often that it’s just Vanitas and Suzume for dinner, but sometimes Sora will venture to the Land of Departure to visit Kairi, or go on a small trip to another world with Donald and Goofy.
On those nights, when it’s just the two of them, the house is filled with comfortable silence. Suzume will often break out some tea before bed, something she rarely does as Sora hates the smell of mint. Jewel will also cling to Vanitas more than usual, following him around at every turn.
Dinner itself is often filled with comfortable silence or gentle conversation, as they discuss Vanitas’s training, how removals had gone that day, or that about something new that’s happening with the shop.
Secretly, Vanitas relishes their time together, just the two of them, mother and son. It’s easier to pretend that he grew up here, and it was simpler to will any bitter old memories away like a forgotten dream.
‘How did you enjoy the enchiladas?’ Suzume asks Vanitas during one such dinner. ‘Something new, right?’
‘They’re good.’ Vanitas says, enjoying the flavors on his tongue. This meal is surprisingly turning out to be one of his favorites, maybe even more so than meatloaf. Suzume’s not even halfway through eating her own meal, and he’s already sucked down all his own. ‘Can I have some more?’
The innocent question has Suzume freezing, and she looks up at him in shock. It takes him a second or two to figure out why.
It’s the first time he’s ever asked for more food.
‘Of course you can!’ She says in a rush and stands up, as if afraid he’ll change his mind as she grabs his plate to fetch him some.
‘I can get it.’ He protests.
‘Nonsense.’ She says with a thousand-watt smile, already setting the plate down again in front of him with more food.
He looks at her quizzically as she watches him take a bite, as if worried that he might have been joking or something. Once he swallows, though, she turns back to her own food.
Neither of them says anything more for the rest of the meal, but Vanitas can feel her happiness in waves. It’s a bit startling to know that he can make her so happy, just from the simple act of him eating more.
Even so, he decides that maybe he can try to indulge her more, if only to see her smile like that again.
Secret Ending:
His phone is ringing, a buzz and a jingle in his pants pocket. Vanitas answers, surprised by the caller on the other line.
‘Vanitas.’ The voice asks, ‘Is this a bad time?’
‘A better question would by why the hell are you calling me?’
‘I wanted to invite you over.’ They say. ‘I heard I might have something you need. So would you want to come by for a visit?’
Vanitas pauses, considering the option, before a smirk slowly comes over his lips.
‘Sure. Why not?’
An Oath to Return
Twins of the Heart