Chapter Text
To Makoto,
Hows your knees? Can I see you today so we can play again?
Form Haru.
Dear Haru-chan,
Mom put bandage on them so they are OK now! It still hurt so much, Haru-chan. I thing my heart is bitter because of it. Mom don't allow me to play today so maybe 2morow. So wow I feel more bitter now on my chest.
From Makoto.
Dear Haru-chan,
Thank you for giving me choclats! I love them so much, exept one choclat its very bitter, so I give it to dad. He looks like he like it so I hope it's okay for you. I still liek the wrapping tho. If you send me choclats because I fall off bike and make my feet bleed and cry you have to know I'm not crying anymore so thank you I'm very happy.
From Makoto.
To Makoto,
It's 'chocolates' not 'choclats'. I thing its your knees that are bleeding not your feet are you okay? I dont know its bitter I thing every chocolate is sweet that's weird. I give it to you so your heart stop being bitter. Its already 2morow so lets meet.
From Haru.
To Makoto,
You no longer need to slip your letter between the window. You can know slip your letter under my front door and I can take it from the other side. Dad promised he will be more careful next time he come home so he wont step on your letter with his shoes.
Form Haru.
To Haru-chan,
This is mail game. Write what you want to be in the future down here then mail it back to me!
Makoto answer: I want to be a teacher because they look nice and cool.
Haru answer: I want to be a mackerel and disapeer in the ocean 4ever.
Haru-chan,
You dont have to give me chocolates every time I cry. Im okay now Im not bitter anymore because you have promise you wont be a mackerel and disapeer in the ocean 4ever. But I still love the chocolates so thank you Im happy again.
PS one chocolat is very bitter and it's allready break to half. I give it to dad again.
From Makoto.
From: Makoto <[email protected]>
To: Haru <[email protected]>
Subject: University of Tokyo!
This place is amazing! Also, you should see the library. It's huge, with thousands of books that are capable to make you feel smart just by holding them. There are these intelligent-looking people who are working and studying really seriously. The tension pressures me a lot. I feel my stomach flip and there comes butterflies with their fluttering wings again. Will I be able to fit in? I must fight harder and work harder to achieve better. Soon I'm going to be a part of them. Wait, I'm already a part of them. With my student card, we can go inside even though you aren't a student here. We can spend as much time as we like. You can practice drawing too. You'll love the atmosphere, also there are lots of art and culinary books. They provided introduction to various arts and recipes, as well as how to do them.
I know where else to take you. The pool! Wait, you have greater pool there. Must inform you that I've tried that grilled mackerel in a local restaurant near this university. It was top notch. 99.9% chance you'll love it. I'll definitely take you there.
I've met some good and nice people. There's this girl who was really nice to me. Her name is Kaori. She offered me her notes when I failed to catch up in class. She introduced me to her other friends, which turned out to be so welcoming and helpful. Two guys and a girl. They're all cool people.
How's your first day? How's the coach? Don't overwork. Don't stay in the pool too long. If I can, I'll be there only to pull you out of the pool. Is that going to be necessary?
From: Haru
To: Makoto
Subject: Re: University of Tokyo!
Sounds like a great place. I'll go there, of course, only if you're also there with me.
I'll come for grilled mackerel. Maybe I can even get the recipe and try it at home. Thank you, Makoto. Your friends sound nice. I'm glad you met good friends. My day is fine. Coach is bothersome and loud, but he's actually reliable. I won't overwork, I'll just swim all I want. Come, then. Pull me out.
Take good care of yourself, Makoto.
From: Makoto
To: Haru
Subject: Chocolate?
There's a chocolate shop I've been dying to visit in the heart of the city. Let's go there together on weekend, if you're available. I'm free on Saturday and Sunday, but I have to study on Sunday night to refresh my memory of child psychology. Inform me as soon as possible!
From: Haru
To: Makoto
Subject: Re: Chocolate?
Sure. I'm free from Friday night until Sunday night. I personally prefer Saturday, so we can have all the time for ourselves. Also, you can stay the night if you want and we can have more time to spend together on Sunday. I don't mind accompanying your study.
From: Makoto
To: Haru
Subject: Re: Chocolate?
Haru, I'm so sorry. My friends asked for my help again to help them study. We're going to have exam on Monday. While I'm ready since I've done studying, it seems like they haven't and they're having difficulties. They hope I can help them all on Saturday and Sunday. This exam is important and I'll feel guilty if they can't pass because I refuse. I hope you understand, Haru. I'm so sorry, but I'll see you another day or next weekend. We'll visit the mackerel restaurant, chocolate shop, the theater, anywhere you want to go. Take care!
P.S. Don't stay in bath too long.
Stupid Makoto
Wishy-washy
Your 'friends asking for help' probably happens every single day
You should get a clue
I'll stay in bath all day until you abandon your friends, come here, and pull me out just you wait
From: Haru
To: Makoto
Subject: Do whatever you want.
Don't read too much into the subject. It isn't like our recent fight at all. Trust me. Makoto should do whatever he wants, so it's really fine. Next weekend it is. Good luck on your study and exam. Don't overdo it, I don't want you to get sick. Also, I think it's not too late to find another good friends. Just saying.
From: Makoto
To: Haru
Subject: I did fine on exam, but
They cheated. My friends cheated. With the very exact notes I've worked hard on and shared with them so they could study. Haru, I'm mad. Frustrated. They got better score than me, and no. It's not envy, it's just they used my notes to cheat. I don't know how I feel anymore, Haru. Disappointment? I also feel like they've betrayed me. I asked 'why did you guys cheat?' and they answered me with 'It's just exam. Stop making such a big deal out of it. I didn't get it when you taught me'. So they put me in the blame! Can you believe that?
I need to refresh my mind and calm my emotions.
From: Water <[email protected]>
To: Makoto's college friends <[email protected]>
Subject: You've taken advantage of Makoto's innocence and kindness
I'll make you drown. I've made it possible with a guy named Kisumi.
From: Makoto
To: Haru
Subject: What's with you, Haru? Thanks!
Thank you for sending me chocolates! What's the occasion? I was pleasantly surprised when I received a small package coming from you and it was full of chocolates bars. I love them. See you tomorrow. I can't wait to spend the whole weekend with you.
P.S. One chocolate looks really bitter and it's already broken in half. Any meaning behind this?
Makoto wakes up to a mild fragrance of Haruka's soap. His eyes blinks open, watching the familiar surroundings. Misty drops of water has landed over his skin, as the temperature has dropped overnight and the room is now glowing with sunshine penetrating the window.
Then his face begins to flush when he realizes that Haruka is lying asleep beside him. Haruka's chest moves as he breathes steadily and slowly. He snuggles closer to Makoto under the same blanket. Makoto's body shyly curls, his head leaning down toward Haruka's. It's in that moment where Haruka's eyelashes gently flutter and he opens his ocean blue eyes.
“Good morning, Haru.” Makoto's lips curve to form a warm smile. His whispered greeting causes Haruka to sigh lazily against Makoto's broad chest.
“Yeah,” Haruka mutters, palm clutching onto the soft fabric of Makoto's shirt.
Both of them stay in the same position for a few minutes, sharing warmth and comfort. Makoto is the first to finally sit up, stretching his arms above his head. “Haru, you're not going to work today?” He asks, voice a bit hoarse.
“No.” Haruka answers, rubbing his eyes. He follows Makoto to get up. “I have a day off.”
“Oh.” Makoto replies quietly, covering his mouth as he yawned. His green eyes eventually widen. Makoto turns to face Haruka, “Does that mean...”
Haruka just nods, effortlessly reading his boyfriend's mind. Makoto's eyes lighten up, a wider smile soon follows after.
They have a full day to spend with each other. Just the two of them. Alone and undisturbed.
“So—“ Haruka and Makoto speak and pause at the same time. Makoto immediately gives up, waiting for Haruka to continue. Haruka gulps and clears his dry throat, “Do you have plans for today?”
“No.” Makoto says with a hopeful glint reflected in green irises.
“Then maybe we can decide together. Anywhere, just you and me.” Haruka's eyes wander off to the side, a faint blush is visible on his cheek.
His boyfriend reacts with a cheerful smile and a nod, head tilting a little. Haruka gives a small smile, settles himself beside the bed and stands up. He walks toward the bathroom, and Makoto knows he has probably half an hour until he can pull Haruka out of his tub.
“Use hot water.” Makoto warns, “I won't tolerate you again if you get sick.” Which is a kind of a lie. If Haruka gets sick, Makoto is going to be the busybody, bringing Haruka all he needs and cooking horrible porridge.
“Okay.” Haruka gathers his clothes and towel before entering the bathroom, leaving Makoto alone on the bed. Once Haruka has gone from sight, Makoto sets himself on his feet and walks to the desk. He has set eyes on a sketchbook on top of the desk, ever since he sat up to stretch. The sketchbook is positioned quite in the middle within a stack of books. Makoto removes the books on top and reaches the sketchbook under it.
It's been a while since he last saw Haruka's drawing. Makoto has been enjoying Haruka's artworks a lot, and Haruka has never hesitated to show them to Makoto. He's curious how much Haruka has progressed in his drawing. Haruka has always been an awesome artist ever since he was a child. His skills progressed steadily. In high school, some art students almost dragged him to join the art club, if not for Nagisa and Makoto literally pulling him back.
Makoto flips the sketchbook open. It reveals a lot of sketches—mostly done with pencil. They are still rough, in progress, or completely done. Makoto keeps turning the pages, finding out that most of them are sketches of Makoto himself. He stops at a page with a sketch of Makoto, gently smiling at the viewer. There seems to be several fireworks in the background.
He suddenly remembers that moment on one summer night. A summer when Makoto went out with all members of Iwatobi swimming club to watch the fireworks together. The fireworks were set up at the beach and blasted on the night sky over the sea surface, their fiery petals swallowed by darkness after the the blast. Makoto took several seconds to admire the fireworks before he turned to see Haruka. Makoto always thinks Haruka would make a good face whenever they see something beautiful. That night was no exception. He was more tempted to see his best friend's face rather than the sky.
The moment Makoto turned his head, Haruka was standing several steps away from him, with a camera in his hands and in front of his eyes. He seemed to have just taken a shot of Makoto. Haruka quickly dropped the camera away from his sight after he spotted Makoto turning toward him. He remembers how Haruka's ocean blue eyes seemed to light up with fireworks reflected on them. Yet, at that time Haruka didn't look up to the fireworks. His gaze fixed against Makoto's.
“Rei asked me to take beautiful pictures.” Haruka explained after a few moments of silence. In reaction, Makoto's eyes blinked and he began to laugh. There was a slight blush coloring Haruka's cheek when he walked forward to stand beside Makoto and watch the fireworks together.
Makoto doesn't expect Haruka would use the picture he'd taken that night to make a sketch out of it. His palm covers a smile on his mouth, as if Haruka would mind him smiling at his sketches. After he turns another page, he is met with rough sketches of something he can't quite recognize. It looks like various parts of a house. A pool, a garden, rooms that look like bedroom, bathroom, and a kitchen. Makoto stares at the pictures, head filled with wonder.
His train of thoughts are interrupted when the phone rings. Makoto places the sketchbook back on the desk and fetches the phone, which happens to belong to Haruka. Nagisa's name is flashing on the screen. Makoto's eyes squint in confusion, but he presses the answer button anyway and brings Haruka's phone toward his ear. “...Hel—“
“Haru-chan!” Nagisa almost screams on the phone that Makoto instinctively sways the phone farther from his ear. “Is it true that you're planning that for Mako-chan?”
Makoto's mouth is parted open as Nagisa's words fill in the brief seconds of silence which is supposed to be Makoto's moment to reply. “What a great move, Haru-chan! Rei-chan and I will gladly help you. Rin-chan sounded thrilled at the idea, too. Mako-chan will surely love it, and I'll bring the crowds if you want to. Leave it to us, Haru-ch—“
“Nagisa?” Makoto cuts Nagisa's incessant voice, “What are you talking about?”
He hears incoherent murmurs following after on the other line. Makoto can't quite catch up the words, but it seems like Rei is there with Nagisa, whispering something to each other. After a moment, Nagisa's voice cheerfully greets Makoto again. “Mako-chan, is that you?”
“Yeah, I'm sorry. Haru's taking a bath right now.”
“Why are you there, Mako-chan? I thought Haru-chan is still in Tokyo and you've come home to Iwatobi?”
“Surprise trip.” Makoto says, heat has crept up his cheeks. “Well, there's nothing wrong with wanting to see Haru sooner, right?”
“Way to go, Mako-chan! Never mind what I've said. I hope you have a great week there. I have to go.” There's a hint of nervousness in Nagisa's voice, but Makoto respectfully chooses to ignore it.
“Take care, Nagisa, whatever you are doing. Send my greetings to Rei, too. He's with you, isn't he?”
“He is. See you again, Mako-chan. I'll ring you later!”
With that, Nagisa hangs up. Makoto frowns at Haruka's phone, then shrugs and lightly throws the phone on the comfy bed. Makoto looks up toward the wall clock. All he needs to do is to wait around fifteen more minutes before he can visit Haruka in the bathroom.
“...Makoto.”
Makoto quickly turns around to face Haruka, who's now standing behind him with towel covering his waist down to his knees. Makoto blinks in confusion. Haruka can almost see a question mark floating on Makoto's head that he subtly smiles, barely visible to untrained eyes, but not to Makoto's eyes. “Haru? Are you done? That's so fast.”
“Time is precious.” Haruka says, refusing to meet Makoto's gaze as he pulls some clothes out of his wardrobe while he tries to bend his lips to flatter line. “Especially since you're already here.”
His friends had once said that on Christmas, Haruka shouldn't miss doing mistletoe kisses with his partner. They seemed to indicate that nothing is more romantic to do on Christmas than activities dripping with sexual desire. Kisses, cuddles, touches, hands-holding, making love.
While thinking about doing them privately with Makoto excites Haruka somehow, for Haruka, however, probably nothing is more romantic than doing things that hold really personal meanings only he and Makoto can understand. Things capable to trigger a wonderful burst of love he's felt for Makoto from time to time and over the years. They don't have to be mistletoe kisses or touching each other. They could be anything, as long as it's about the two of them.
The most important thing is that it should be only about Haruka and Makoto, without the slightest involvement from some girl named Kaori.
Haruka and Makoto are now walking side by side along the cold street of Tokyo. Makoto has been talking over the phone with a girl named Kaori since they passed several shops in a crowded district.
“Do you remember Kaori?” Makoto smiles gently at Haruka with phone still set near his ear. “An old friend from university.”
“I don't.” Haruka leaves a faint sign that whoever Kaori is, she isn't that important to him that he has to remember her name.
“One of my first friends in university.”
Haruka's eye almost twitches in utter dislike. It's a relief that Makoto doesn't seem to notice.
“She asked that since I've arrived in Tokyo, why don't we have lunch together with some of her friends too?” Makoto explains, his smile wavering. Haruka keeps quiet, throwing his interest to every shop they pass. He can hear Makoto breathes a bit heavily beside him. “I'm sorry, Kaori-san. I can't join you. I hope you can understand.”
Haruka's blue eyes lighten up, like sunshine clashing over ocean's surface. Makoto glances at him for a second, making up excuses while Haruka patiently listens to his every word and attempt to get out of Kaori's grasp, until Makoto manages to hang up and flip his phone shut. Haruka looks over at Makoto, lips slightly parted.
Makoto smiles warmly at Haruka. He finds the most delicate hint of sadness in that smile. In his recognition, there comes a sting of pain in Haruka's chest. “Thank you for staying by my side after that day, Haru.”
“I didn't do anything, really.” Haruka denies, fully aware that he's just uselessly trying to fool both himself and Makoto.
Makoto chuckles, voice almost musical. Haruka grabs his own scarf and moves its edge closer to his mouth, as if the little gesture can hide the burning heat on his face. Makoto's voice soothes and pleases him in a certain way no other voice can. He realizes he's always been in love with it. Finding it to be a personal acknowledgment, Haruka's heart beats in an accelerated speed. Makoto has been observing Haruka as they walk, barely paying attention to all the colorful decorations dressing up the shops and street.
“Let's eat some chocolates.” Haruka suddenly says.
“Chocolate? Why?”
“You like it. So why not?” Haruka turns his way toward a chocolate shop and stands firm in front of it. Without waiting for Makoto, he enters through the glass door. Makoto follows suit, mouth hanging open in wonder. Haruka has walked to the cashier with two bars of chocolate firmly and carefully attached within his cold palm.
“Let's eat them at the park.” Haruka places the bars on cashier table and draws some cash from his wallet. Makoto's eyes widen, but he does nothing to stop Haruka. After Haruka has paid for the chocolates, he hands Makoto the bars while he walks out of the shop. The brunet silently receives it and follows Haruka from behind.
In silent agreement, both of them starts to walk toward the park. Makoto's free hand lightly swings near Haruka's. As a response, Haruka interlaces their fingers together, until their hands are holding each other's. Even without looking directly at Makoto's face, the corner of Haruka's eye has caught a glimpse of smiling Makoto.
“It sure is cold.” Makoto's cracked lips shiver with few words he utters. His smile has turned stiff, like it's frozen there and Makoto can't remove it even if he wants to. Haruka is sitting side by side with Makoto on a park bench, close enough to feel the other's body heat. The park is quiet, and the large pond has thin ice forming over the surface.
“Are you okay?” Haruka asks in concern, “maybe we should consume something really warm instead.”
“Later.” Makoto sighs, watching puff of warm air leaving his mouth, “I have chocolates here in my hand, and you bought them for me. I don't want to eat anything else at the moment.” He says, eyes shimmering and looking like a happy puppy. Haruka huffs, trying to fight off a smile that has threatened to break on his lips.
“But they're just chocolates...”
“They're expensive! You probably gave me the best brand the shop has to offer. Even if they're not the best, I'm happy nonetheless. Thank you, Haru.”
“It's... no big deal.” Haruka shifts his gaze to the ground, suddenly taking fake interest on his shoes. Buying chocolates are small things. Makoto should stop being overexcited because of them. It isn't like Haruka will not do it again. Haruka will do it a million more times, if that means Makoto's happiness.
Makoto is staring down at the chocolates in his hands. Haruka witnesses a gentle smile that beautifies the whole feature of his appearance. “Haru, I'm sure you remember that one time when we were kids.”
Haruka feels himself relax, his shoulder leaning on Makoto's body, ready to listen.
Makoto clears his throat before he continues. “Back then, I fell off a bike and was injured. I cried, you freaked out. You sent me home and refused to go until Mom said that I would be fine. Then the day after, you slipped a handwritten letter under my house door, asking if we could play again. I replied your letter with a whiny message, saying my heart was bitter or something along those lines. For your information, it was actually a line I copied from Mom's favorite soap opera and I didn't really understand the meaning.
“Seemed like you were affected by it, though, so the next day you sent me chocolates. You said chocolates would stop my heart from being bitter. But, by accident, one bitter chocolate was slipped among the sweet ones. The second time, I was upset by your answer in our mail game and I cried. Again, you sent me chocolates. Sweet chocolates, but one was bitter, and it was already broken in half. Unlike the first one, I doubt it was accidental. Then, when I was upset because my friends cheated from me in university, you sent a package of chocolates. One is extremely bitter and it was also already broken in half.”
Makoto takes a pause, fumbling with the chocolates Haruka has bought for him. “Even now, you bought two kinds of chocolate. One dark with a very high percentage of cocoa, the other a milk chocolate. Haru, you've done this several times already and now I want explanation. What's the meaning behind this bitter one? You know I'm not too fond of it.”
“You guess.”
“Eeh? Okay, then. If you say so. Hm, let me think.” Makoto's fingers start to lightly rub his chin, showing his boyfriend that he's thinking, but Haruka knows better. Instead of thinking and guessing by himself, Makoto is trying to read his mind.
After that realization, instead of turning away, Haruka holds their gazes captive with his piercing blue eyes. They are staring into each other's eyes, both getting lost in them. By doing that, Haruka is letting Makoto reach deeper into his thoughts and read him like a book. There's a playful twitch at the corner of Makoto's lips, indicating that Makoto has probably found the answer taken straight out of his mind.
“Haru, did you eat half of the bitter chocolates before you sent them to me?”
“Why would I do that?” Haruka's tone isn't that of a denial. It is genuine curiosity. He's quietly challenging Makoto to guess the answer.
“Because,” Makoto attempts to read deeper to Haruka's mind, “by eating bitter chocolates, you wanted to feel the same bitterness I felt at that time.”
Silence immediately consumed the air. Nobody made a sound, except for some distant chirps of birds traveling toward the sky.
“Am I wrong?” Makoto jerks away, holding his hands in defense in front of him while displaying a nervous smile, abruptly losing confidence. “Aah, I was just guessing, you know. Reading your thoughts, things like that. Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, that's a weird thing to do, and why would you even want to do that? To understand my feelings better? I don't think so. Anyway, forget what I said! It was weird.”
“But it is true.” Haruka's head tilts a little, the words came out slow and steady from Haruka to reassure Makoto that he didn't hear them wrong. “That's what was going on my head back then, when I was a kid.”
Makoto gapes in awe. “It's true? How...?” He trails off, prompting Haruka to explain. His boyfriend catches the small gesture and releases heavier warm puffs to the air. Haruka turns and lets his vision rests on a wispy line of horizon beyond the frozen pond. His back relaxes against the bench.
“When you fell off the bike and got your knees streaming with blood, you couldn't stop crying. I saw that agony in your voice, in your expression. Then, the glimpse of pain and sadness in your eyes, which were constantly covered by your persistent hand that tried to wipe the tears. I was... hurt, too.” Haruka takes a deeper breath, “But I realized, the pain I felt in seeing you cry couldn't even match the actual pain you had to endure at that moment. When I got home, Mom had just received a gift full of chocolates and souvenirs from her workplace. She allowed me to take some and give them to you, so I did.”
Haruka's voice drifts softly that Makoto feels calm as he listens. With Makoto, Haruka says more words than he usually would, and comfortably so. Others might think that Makoto is often the one who talks and shares stories while Haruka is the one who always listens. Yet in reality, their communications have always gone both ways—in words or in serene silence, in the presence of each other's or in touches, and more often than not, in their connected gazes. In actuality, Haruka is the one who expresses his feelings more than Makoto.
“Then you slipped your letter in my window, saying that one chocolate was bitter. I was taken aback, then... that was when I got the idea. I remembered a time when you accidentally ate a bitter chocolate your Dad had. The expression you made was identical to that one when you fell from the bike and fought off your tears. Not to mention you said your heart was bitter, so I thought, 'maybe Makoto felt the same bitterness. Maybe I would be able to find out how much he's endured if I eat one too, so I can understand him better'. So I broke the bitter one and ate it. I was hopeful that it could mean I'd tasted and endured a part of bitterness Makoto had also experienced. The chocolate tasted horrible.” Haruka unconsciously clenches his teeth, “But... Makoto had felt horrible, too.”
“Haru!” Makoto exclaims with mild blushes on his cheeks, his bright green orbs brighten, “You went to that length for me? But that was kind of, you know... masochistic?”
“Oi.” Haruka weakly responds in protest, suddenly touched by annoyance. Once in a while, Makoto's honesty can be a little blunt. “It wasn't like that. I mean... it's no big deal.”
“But you loathed bitter taste, especially when you were a kid.”
“Yeah, I loathed it. You loathed it too.” Haruka raises a hand, refusing to speak further. “This matter is clear and closed.”
“You did that again when I was in college.” Makoto continues.
“I thought maybe you would remember when you saw the broken chocolate I sent to you. Apparently, you did remember.” Haruka releases a small smile.
“Ah, well... I was confused, but I did remember those days.” Makoto focuses his attention on the unwrapped bitter chocolate in his hand, which has a large amount of cocoa in it. “I never really eat the bitter ones, you know. I didn't like them, but now that I've known your side of the story, I want to know the 'bitterness' you've taken for my sake years ago. Please share it with me, Haru.” He breaks a piece of an extremely bitter chocolate and places it on Haruka's palm.
Haruka stares at the piece. His memory triggers a flimsy image of a chocolate piece in his tiny hand. On that day when he first experienced a childish urge to also feel the sting of bitterness that might have swelled up in Makoto. He remembered his own wish to be able to take away half of Makoto's pain and let him suffer it in Makoto's place. Therefore, Makoto wouldn't need to carry all his pain and bitterness on his own shoulders.
Silently, Haruka slips the chocolate between his lips, letting the bitterness melt on his tongue. That is when unawareness grabs Haruka, that his eyes widen in surprise when Makoto leans close and sinks his teeth on a little piece of the chocolate still hanging outside Haruka's mouth.
I want to know the bitterness you've taken for my sake. Please share it with me, Makoto has said. Haruka didn't expect the words to have a meaning in their literal way.
Stupid Makoto, he thinks, frowning, but then gives in. He lets Makoto crush the chocolate piece with his teeth and takes it away from Haruka's lips. They haven't kissed with the gesture, but their lips were almost brushing.
Makoto shuts his eyes, his shoulders jerked up as he tries to gulp down the chocolate. “I can't believe you were willing to eat this when you were a kid, Haru.” He whines, “It's so bitter. Not too bad, but I guess I'll always be a milk chocolate guy.”
“You're stupid because you eat it now even though you hate it.” Haruka says, gulping down his own piece. The bitterness is still lingering around in his mouth and down through his throat.
“Say that to yourself, or to your past selves.” Makoto's eyes squint.
Haruka looks somewhat annoyed, then glances at the other chocolate he has bought for Makoto. “Now just eat the sweet one if you can't handle the bitter.”
This time, Makoto smiles. He straightens up on the bench and carefully unwraps the other chocolate—the sweet milk chocolate that has always been his favorite. “Haru, would you like to taste it too? The delightful sweetness you'd given to comfort me years ago? I want you to figure out how much it made me happy.” His finger slowly pushes a piece of sweet milk chocolate slightly deeper between the lips, but still leaves a fair piece for Haruka to take.
When Makoto lifts his head to properly face Haruka, his heart flutters at the sight of Haruka's shimmering blue eyes.
Makoto is often reminded of the ocean when he sees Haruka's eyes. They are deep, its depth unknown and unreachable to many, but not to Makoto. He knows this ocean within Haruka's eyes. He's familiar with it. It's not the unknown, therefore not even the tiniest hint of fear holds him when he meets those eyes. He is put at ease. They speak to him that everything is alright.
Right now, doing what their hearts have spoken to them, is alright too.
Haruka finally closes his eyes and shifts nearer, his teeth securing the half piece of chocolate hanging in front of Makoto's mouth. The bitterness of their previous try still lingers at the sides of his tongue. He feels gentle hands slide along his arms, which have embraced Makoto's waist for warmth and comfort.
It doesn't take long until sweet dissolves on Haruka's tongue, gradually replacing the lasting bitterness. Haruka craves a little more for the sweet, eventually bringing his lips to press against Makoto's.
Share what you feel with me—your happiness, your pain, the bitter, the sweet. Everything.
He's almost able to hear Makoto's train of thought echo in his own head, as if their minds have been in sync when they share a kiss.
As they make more attempts to steal the taste of chocolate trapped between their mouths from each other, their noses awkwardly bump and their teeth continuously collide. Makoto's body lightly shakes. At first, Haruka suspects it's because of the icy wind. But then, Makoto breaks the fragile, melting chocolate piece with his teeth and pulls away from their kiss. They are both running out of breath. Makoto takes several seconds to regain his composure and he laughs to the misty air.
Again, his voice chimes almost musically in Haruka's ears.
Haruka's hand releases his boyfriend's waist and clutches his own jacket, crumpling the thick fabric within his sweaty palm. Under the jacket, beneath his chest, there is a heart beating in a pace fast enough to pump heat to burn within his face. He gulps, swallowing the remaining of chocolate in his mouth. He no longer tastes the bitter, but sweetness is still there.
It will remain a little longer.
Makoto's finger gradually leaves his laughing mouth. As his light laughter dies down, deep blushes adorably adorn his cheeks. His droopy green eyes shine warmly under the rising sun that begins to reach its peak on the vast sky. “Haru, thank you.”
Thank you for feeling what I'm feeling.
Thank you for sharing the bitter and sweet.
Thank you for staying by my side.
They aren't spoken in words. They reach Haruka with an invisible magnet that draws their gazes to collide. Haruka sighs, closing his eyes. Smiling. This time he doesn't suppress it. He feels too happy to pretend. Too contented. Even the bitterness isn't that bad, as long as he's able to share it with Makoto.
“You're welcome, and thank you, Makoto."