Chapter Text
Fukuzawa did (barely) try to be democratic about who would take care of Atsushi. He did listen to everyone's arguments, totally not distracted with the fluff ball in his kimono. After a full hour of ruthless debating it was decided that Atsushi should choose who to stay with, and usually this kind of oddly diplomatic answer would have been suggested earlier…by Atsushi.
So everyone ended up sitting in a half circle around Fukuzawa, with Atsushi watching everyone with his head poking out of his kimono. However, a problem arose when he tried to remove Atsushi from his kimono, he wouldn't leave. First it was cute little whining and when Fukuzawa tried to pick him up he wiggled around until he was pressed up against his back.
There were muffled giggles from the peanut gallery in front.
Now Fukuzawa had to pull his arms out from his sleeves to try and gently nudge Atsushi forward. Which was mildly successful as he did move forward, but now he was glaring at Fukuzawa. Let it be known that this man is very weak for cute things. Unluckily for Atsushi, Fukuzawa was distracted by Ranpo laughing at him and now even more focused on getting him out of his kimono.
With both of his arms free of his sleeves he had the perfect opportunity to grab Atsushi, who realised this and nuzzled his head into the fold of Fukuzawa’s white under-kimono, startling him into not moving. In an instant Atsushi had gotten comfortable, sitting sideways with his head resting in the middle of Fukuzawa’s chest, looking up at him smugly. The man in question was staring at him with wide eyes, the only thought in his head being a constant repetition of, “How is he so fluffy?”, and, “What just happened?”.
Finally hearing how hard Ranpo was laughing, he looked up to find him having fallen over with an arm thrown over his stomach and tears from laughing in his eyes. Fukuzawa looked around to find everyone is varying degrees of laughter; Yosano had a massive grin on her face, still taking pictures; Junichirou was muffling his giggles into Naomi’s shoulder as she outright laughed; Kyouka was giggling so quietly he could only hear little puffs of her breath as she smiled, it was very, very adorable; Kenji was beaming as he patted Ranpo’s shoulder, a literal ball of sunshine; finally Kunikida, who was resolutely looking up at the ceiling with his notebook covering his face, and it was not nearly enough to hide how hard his shoulders were shaking with desperately hidden laughter.
Fukuzawa sighed with unrestrained exasperated fondness as he watched them.
He didn't try to stop them from laughing, he knew it was a useless endeavour and maybe he liked seeing them happy.
Dazai walked into the ADA’s office 3 hours late with the full intention of ruining Kunikida’s day. He had been away for an entire day! He had to make up for all that lost time!
Ohh, maybe he should mess around with Atsushi too!
A devious smile spread on his face to match the unnerving giggle he let out.
Kunikida shivered and looked up from his computer with fear in his eyes, “Oh god, he’s here.”
(In a very tall and dark building not too far away, Chuuya Nakahara looks up from his computer and says, “What the fuck is that piece of shit doing now?”. Absolutely no one blinks over the excessive cursing, more than used to it by now.)
Dazai paused just before grabbing the door handle, hearing shuffling and muffled talking on the other side. Hmm? Now what could they be doing? He opened the door with a bang and shouted, “I've returned!”, and there was the classic sigh from Kunikida!
“You're late, Dazai.”, an outraged gasp from the offending party, “How could you say that Kunikida! I've been working day and night! I've only just returned! I'm exhausted~”
All this was said while laying dramatically over Kunikida’s desk.
Dazai was doing a wonderful job of raising the poor man's blood pressure.
Kunikida sighed heavily while he rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Just…get off my desk Dazai.”
Well that was weird…Usually Kunikida would violently throw him off. Maybe it had something to do with wherever Atsushi went. Best to ask and find out!
He knew just the right person too!
The whole office was at attention when they saw Dazai walk towards Kenji with a sing-song, “Ohh Kenji~ Do you know where Atsushi went perchance?”
Kenji looked up from the…potted plant? Yes, the potted plant that he was looking at. He responded in his usual cheery sunshine-like tone, “Yep! He's with the president right now.” There was a sigh of relief from the office.
Now Dazai absolutely must know what happened while he was away, “Well then! I think I'll go say hi.”
“Dazai, your paperwork.” said Kunikida, with the intention of sounding threatening but Dazai heard the undertone of fear.
Now Dazai was starting to become concerned, without saying a word he turned on his heel and ran towards the hallway leading to Fukuzawa’s office. There was a shout of “Shit! Stop him!” that sounded like it came from Kunikida. He heard what sounded like a running leap from behind him, so he intentionally lost his footing, skidding the last few feet to Fukuzawa’s door. He slipped in, locking the door behind him.
“Dazai open the door!” That was definitely Kunikida, Dazai stuck his tongue out at him, fully aware that he couldn't see him but knowing that he could sense Dazai making fun of him.
There was a light cough from behind him. Dazai turned to see Fukuzawa looking at him with a single eyebrow raised, “Is something wrong?”
Dazai’s expression turned cold, but only for a moment, and he said, “Where’s Atsushi?” Fukuzawa blinked twice before answering, “Ah, I see no one has told you yet.” Dazai’s expression was cold again as he responded, “Told me what?”
Fukuzawa didn't answer right away, instead reaching into his kimono he pulled out a…white tiger?
A moment passed as the two men watched the white tiger (also known as Atsushi) get comfortable on the table, sitting and staring at Dazai with his tail flicking from side to side. Dazai’s jaw dropped to the floor and he looked from the feline and then back to Fukuzawa before saying, “No way.” Fukuzawa solemnly nodded as he said, with mild hesitation, “Yes way.” He was unsure if he said that correctly but judging from the massive, beaming smile on Dazai’s face, he did.
At that exact moment the door burst open, someone having picked the lock (the most likely to be Kyouka). Ranpo walked in calmly, ignoring Dazai in favour of petting Atsushi, who chuffed lightly in response.
(And the peanut gallery has returned!)
“How long?” said Dazai, with pure glee.
“A week.” replied Ranpo, extremely smug.
“And if I touch?” asked Dazai, taking small steps closer to Atsushi with his hands outstretched and slightly shaking.
“Why don't you find out?” answered Ranpo, somehow more smug than before.
Dazai might have squealed just a little bit when he realised he could actually pet Atsushi. He took the final few steps closer and held out a hand for Atsushi to sniff, “Why hello there Atsushi.” he said, in the voice that all people use when meeting an unexpected cat. Atsushi responded by sniffing the outstretched hand, perking up slightly and then licking once before shoving his entire head onto Dazai’s hand and demanding pets. Dazai was unashamedly cooing.
Sadly for him the moment only lasted round-about a minute before a bright blue light covered Atsushi. Dazai barely had time to whine out “Nooo~” and overdramatically cry before he saw just what had happened to Atsushi.
There was now a baby sitting on Fukuzawa’s desk, giggling happily as he looked around. He seemed to be around 9 months old and was wearing what looked like a tiny copy of Atsushi’s uniform. Tie and belt included, along with the usual lack of shoes and a full head of fluffy white hair to match.
Absolute silence. Broken only by Atsushi’s cute little giggles. All eyes turned to Ranpo. “What? How was i supposed to know!” he said, not looking guilty in the slightest. Now everyone was glaring at him.
Kyouka decided to ignore the allure of also glaring at Ranpo and walked forward to softly say “Hello.” to the now baby Atsushi. He babbled something resembling a “hello” back and waved with a chubby little hand.
Kenji followed her to also say hello to Atsushi, and managed to forget about saying hello and instead info-dumped about his farm on the roof of the office. Although, Atsushi seemed more than happy to listen, intently watching Kenji talk and nodding occasionally.
In the background, Kunikida was whisper-yelling at Ranpo for not informing anyone about how exactly that unknown ability actually worked.
Back in the foreground, Fukuzawa was recovering from the shock of Atsushi turning from a tiger to a baby in less than a minute. He was also grieving the loss of white tiger Atsushi, not to say that baby Atsushi wasn't adorable but cat adorable and baby adorable are very different.
He sighed heavily and asked Ranpo, “Does Dazai’s ability interfere with how long Atsushi will be like this?”
Ranpo answered with a smile and a laugh, “Nope! Plus, it still looks like Atsushi is obsessed with you in any form.” Fukuzawa was confused, tilting his head to one side lightly as he looked down at where Atsushi was sitting on his desk. Only to find him staring directly back at him.
Up until this point Fukuzawa hadn't actually looked at Atsushi, only seeing him from behind as he had been looking at everyone else in his office. Now, Atsushi was facing him with the full force of squishy cheeks and baby babbling. He was a doomed man.
Fukuzawa’s eyes opened even wider than when he saw Atsushi for the first time, the usually composed man looked two seconds from either murdering someone or crying. Atsushi put his arms out, asking to be picked up. Sadly Fukuzawa didn't understand that and instead did the only thing his brain could think of; he held Atsushi’s hands like they were cat paws and squeezed gently on his palms as if claws would appear.
There was the frantic clicking of buttons in the background as if multiple people were taking as many pictures as possible.
Atsushi dissolved into giggles, nearly falling over. Fukuzawa squeezed on his palms again, smiling softly as Atsushi laughed. Then suddenly, in the midst of his giggles, the telltale bright blue light of his ability lit up both of Atsushi’ s hands and around the top of his head like a halo.
Was Atsushi trying to give him a heart attack? Because, now sitting in front of him was Atsushi, still a baby but now with tiger paws and ears, still giggling. Gasps and cooing came from everyone still in Fukuzawa’s office. The owner of the office was trying to remember how to breathe correctly.
Dazai might have been on the floor crying, whether that be at how cute Atsushi was or the fact he couldn't touch him while he was so cute, no one was quite sure. He slinked his way to the other side of Fukuzawa’s desk, literally inching his way across the floor like an inchworm, loudly sobbing into the floor all the way.
His hands thumped on the top of Fukuzawa’s desk, startling Atsushi lightly and sadly causing Fukuzawa to let go of his hands, and he pulled himself up until his jaw was resting on the desktop. With crocodile tears running down his face, Dazai whined out, “Atsushiii! How are you so cute! It's bad for my health, your poor mentor is going to die a slow death from your cuteness!” He pouted at Atsushi, who blinked a few times, his giggles having died out, and crawled forward until he was sitting in front of Dazai.
Atsushi placed a single paw on Dazai’s forehead with a large smile, causing his squishy cheeks to look even squishier. Dazai’s eyes went wide with the faintest shine of real tears and he sniffled slightly. His ability kicked in a moment later, leaving Atsushi with his usual hands instead of paws. Which gave him the idea of squishing Dazai’s cheeks, he placed his hands on Dazai’s cheeks and pushed.
Atsushi pouted when he saw his efforts didn't do much, so he decided to pat instead. His smile returned tenfold as he watched Dazai stick his tongue out at him.
Fukuzawa had been watching the entire time and had seen that slight sheen of tears in Dazai’s eye, his eyes softened. He raised his arm slowly, making his movements obvious, and gently laid his hand on top of Dazai’s head, ruffling his hair lightly. Dazai’s eyes went wide again, having softened when Atsushi started patting his cheeks. He blinked rapidly and swallowed, then abruptly planted his face onto the desktop.
Fukuzawa moved his hand slightly, only adjusting to pat the back of Dazai’s head instead. Atsushi had been watching and decided to do the same, patting and running his tiny hands through Dazai’s hair. There was a loud sniffle from Dazai, his face still pressed into the desk.
“Maybe I should show more physical attention”, thought Fukuzawa with soft eyes and a small smile, “They are my kids after all.”