Chapter Text
Friday had finally came along, and Sam dreadfully realized there was only one day left until everyone was heading over to Jessica's for the get together. When she spoke to Jess on the phone about it she never seemed particularly nervous, or even worried. Sam had asked if she was, even a little, but the question confused her.
"Why would I be worried?" She had said. "All of my friends are coming over for a sleepover that isn't on a monster infested mountain. If anything, I'm excited!"
That had been the first Sam had heard of it being a sleepover, Jess telling her to bring a pillow because she wasn't getting out of this. Not that she'd been planning on bailing, it was tempting though. It was beyond her how Mike and Jess could have zero concerns about this.
All day Sam had been messaging Josh, informing him of the detail Jess left out and asking if he was still planning on coming. The first message she had sent at eight in the morning, a time he was almost always awake. He hadn't answered at all, and it was now six in the afternoon, so she drove over like Wednesday, figuring she could just tell him in person.
When she knocked on the door no one answered. Josh was a light sleeper, and since he was always in the living room close to the front door now there was no way he didn't hear her. Hesitantly, she turned the doorknob. It was unlocked.
"Josh..?" No answer. He wasn't in the living room, maybe he wasn't even home. Opening and walking into someone's house uninvited wasn't exactly the best idea, so she turned to leave. A sound caught her ear before she could, far away but definitely in the house, upstairs. Something falling down.
She made her way up the stairs quickly, looking down the hallway. The door closest the stairway was one she distinctly remembered as Hannah's room, door tightly shut, along with Beth's to the left of it. A door farther down the hall, the door to Josh's room, wasn't completely closed. Slowly she made her way down the hall, knocking lightly on the wood.
"...Josh? Can I come in?" The silence in the big house was incredibly loud for a long moment.
"Come in." His voice was hoarse, and as she stepped in she realized the sound she had heard was a framed picture falling, the broken glass scattered near the doorway.
"What happened here, are you okay?"
He was sitting at the foot of his bed, staring absently at a box on the floor nearby.
"Sorry about the mess, I was just about to take care of it." He looked up slowly at her, his hair a mess and his eyes lacking sleep.
"Don't worry about that, I'll clean it up, alright?" The moment he nodded in agreement she rushed down the hall, knowing after years of coming here where the Washingtons kept a broom.
It wasn't that cleaning the glass in itself was an urgent matter, but she didn't want to leave Josh alone for too long. The look in his eyes was a mix of relief and guilt, as if he was glad to see her yet didn't want her to see him like this. As Sam began sweeping up the shards, she found and picked up the picture frame and the photograph that had fallen from it in the first place.
It was a picture from sophomore year of Hannah, Beth and Josh. She remembered it as Emily's back to school pool party, a glimpse of her backyard in the background of the shot, along with Chris falling face first into the swimming pool. Another time the picture would probably be pleasant to look at, right now it meant one thing: Josh was trying to remember them too, as they really had been, not in their nightmares but in their scrapbooks, in their memories.
"I was looking through their pictures," he motioned towards the box on the floor. "Thought I'd be fine, that I was completely ready. I was wrong."
She shook the glass from the dustpan into his garbage bin, then made her way across the room, carefully sitting next to him on the bed. There hadn't been a single time since the group's escape from the mountain that he'd even come in here, it felt every bit as cold and unused as suggested. It was possible that he hadn't even been in here since the twins initial disappearance.
"I didn't mean to ignore your messages by the way," he was picking up the box, only to shove it and its contents under his bed. "I was just...distracted."
"It's fine, really. This is definitely more important, you're actually in here and looking throu-"
"Sam don't, please. I couldn't even do it, not really. I tried but..I'm still not ready." He was looking to her desperately, as if for an answer in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. Here," she moved over towards the headboard, sitting cross legged and leaning against it, patting the space next to her. "Let's talk."
He followed her, sitting in the space she had motioned towards, a confused look crossing his features. "About..?"
"Anything and everything."
It was almost nostalgic, the two of them wasting the hours away talking about things, whatever came to mind, whatever didn't hurt to say. Once they had actually started talking in their highschool years, it was a routine they had fallen into, and now they had slowly began digging it up again after nearly two years. She knew that when he was upset it helped him as a distraction, just as well as she knew there were times when this routine helped her too.
The weary look in his eyes that she noted as time went on reminded her of the look she saw in herself, of every sleepless night she'd had over Hannah and Beth, of every sleepless night she'd had over him.
"I'm still going..tomorrow, I mean." He was tracing patterns into his arm, his eyes focused on the task.
"Good, good. Me too." The sun had long since set, and she was beginning to feel tired. "Hey Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you avoid me for so long when we first met?" It was a question that had been left unresolved, a question that had been nagging at her for years.
"Well I guess it's because I was intimidated by you," he broke off to yawn, eyes almost drifting close at this point. "You seemed so pretty and strong and smart and you are and.." He trailed off, clearly exhausted, his heavy eyes drifted close.
Sam had been sleepy before, but after Josh's answer she was wide awake. It had taken her by surprise, she wasn't sure what she thought he was going to say but it wasn't that. She more expecting of something along the lines of 'you were my sisters friend and she nagged me for even looking at you the wrong way.' There was no point in leaving, she was driving Josh to Jessica's tomorrow, and it was already past eleven. But she was wide awake now, she almost didn't notice when the sun rose and she hadn't gotten any sleep.
----
"Hey you two, come on in!" Jess said, opening the door for them and smiling. "You are a little late though, everyone's already here. My parents are out of town this weekend too, so they won't be bothering us."
Josh walked in more slowly, allowing Sam to go first. He was looking around nervously, and Sam gripped his hand in hers, trying to help distract him.
"Hey Jess, where do you want these?" Matt called from the doorway to the kitchen.
He was balancing an unreasonable amount of snacks in his arms. Emily was standing next to him, holding a comically large bag of chips, glaring at the bag in her arms as if it was some sort of abomination.
"Woah there, let me help you with all of those!" And Jess was gone, skipping over to Matt and Em to assist them.
Sam guided Josh nearly to the living room by hand, turning to him before they walked into sight.
"You ready?"
He looked a little bit like a deer caught in the headlights, but after a moment he took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm ready."
Jessica's living room was big, a long couch lining one wall and a large television stood against the wall across it, a stocked bookshelf against the wall in between. A few of the books missing from their place, sitting on Ashley's lap. Ashley and Chris were sitting on the couch farthest from the door, Chris talking animatedly and Ashley listening intently, a soft smile on her face. Chris stopped mid-sentence to wave at them coming in. Mike was sitting on the other end of the couch, flipping through channels, and when Josh and Sam stepped in he motioned towards the space next to him.
"Sit down you two, we might be able to watch something good before everyone else gets back in here."
As they took their seats, Sam saw Josh and Ashley briefly exchange a look, the smile on Ashley's face only faltering slightly. It was only for a moment though, then she was turning back to Chris, and Josh back to Mike.
"Define 'good' Michael. The last time we watched something together it was half of the second season of Supernatural." Josh said, a little bit of his nervousness leaving his voice.
"It's better than what Jess has planned. She said we'd all vote on movies after the first one, but she's got first pick."
"Are you critiquing my movie taste?" Jess walked through the door, a large bowl of popcorn in her hands and Em and Matt trailing in behind her.
"Only a little."
"Yeah, sure," She sat down in the middle of the couch, leaving Matt to take a seat next to Ashley and Em next to Josh. "I hope everyone's comfortable, I've got the first movie picked out!"
The groans of complaint that sounded through the room didn't stop Jess from putting on Mean Girls. "I know it's cliche, but it's kind of laughable because of that, and the ending isn't terrible. It'll be a nice ice breaker!"
Surprisingly enough, it was just that. At first nearly everyone was stubbornly set on not saying a word, being completely uninterested, but Jessica's enthusiasm helped to lighten the mood. Halfway through almost everyone was making fun of it, laughing together and making bad jokes. Emily looked like she was determined to continue to dislike the experience, but Sam caught her slowly starting to smile at some of the others remarks, and Jess couldn't look happier when she noticed that the ice queen was thawing.
After a couple of movies in more snacks had been brought out, and everyone had moved around some, Jess and Mike sitting cross-legged on the floor, Matt sitting nearby them and Em having taken Jess' orginal spot in the middle of the couch. It was almost alarming to realize that this was familiar in a pleasant way, all of them together like this, the majority of the tension lifted off of everyone's shoulders. Still no one even dared recommending even the worst horror movie, no one turned the lights off, little things that were a reminder of why this entire event was remarkable. They were all there together and nothing unspeakable or horrible had happened, they were okay. Josh didn't even seem as tense as he was before, like the rest of them the tension from his voice hadn't entirely left, but they were all talking freely through the drawn out parts of the films, only really watching at the most dramatic scenes.
Gradually throughout the current movie Ashley had started moving closer to where Sam and Josh were sitting, and now she promptly sat next to him. Despite her being the one to do so, she looked just as startled as him. For a moment they both continued watching the film. Sam saw that they were tracing over the ghost of their old injuries, Ashley suddenly tracing over the skin that used to be bruised by a black eye, only to try and cover it up by pulling some of her hair behind her ear. Josh was lightly placing a hand over where she had stabbed him, and Sam imagined there had to be a scar there. They may have started talking again, but this was probably the first time they saw each other in person.
Ashley took a deep breath, and then turned to him, a small smile on her face. "So, how do you like the movie?"
"Well," he turned to her, a little hesitantly. "It's not the one I would have voted for, but it's better than I expected."
"Hey, Sam." Emily was beckoning her over, an expectant look on her face. "Come over here."
She didn't get to hear anymore of Ashley and Josh's awkward conversation, but she knew it was okay. They were warming up to each other again, and it was more than anyone could have expected.
"I just wanted to say...I mean, thank you." Emily said it quickly, as if she almost hoped Sam wouldn't hear. "For convincing me to come here. I mean, I'm still mad, I might always be, but I think I have right to be. That doesn't mean I should just shut you all out forever."
There was a pause, Sam didn't say anything yet though. Better to make sure Em had her say then accidentally cut her off.
"I guess I'm trying to be sincere here and make a point. Of course I could have continued to shut you all out, but I didn't. And I actually sort of feel...weirdly better because of it." Emily huffed.
"I'm glad you do, to tell you the truth, I almost didn't want to come today either. I think everyone was worried about this but...it's going much better than I expected." At that Em nodded in agreement, and Jess announced the next movies up for vote. The night continued, and almost everyone ended up on the floor with pillows and blankets.
----
When Sam first woke up she was confused, for a moment forgetting that she and her friends had all fallen asleep on Jessica's living room floor, all except Emily, who insisted on sleeping on the couch. Sam wasn't entirely sure what had happened after she had passed out, because at some point in the night Jess had apparently decided to join her there, and it looked like Em was using her as a pillow. Chris and Ashley were predictably cuddled up at the far end of the pile of blankets, Matt a little ways away, his blanket stolen by Mike who was oddly stretched out across the room from everyone somehow. Josh was still next to her, and when she turned to face him she saw that he wasn't asleep either.
"Morning." She whispered, well aware that they were the only ones awake. "How'd you sleep?" She couldn't remember her own dreams, and the once constant nightmares only came in inconsistent patches, only a couple times a week now.
"To tell you the truth I'm not sure I did sleep."
"Why? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, I actually didn't really want the night to end, which is why. I mean, this was definitely nerve wracking, but.."
"Better than expected?"
"Yeah," he smiled a little. "Definitely."
She only now realized just how close they were, how she had probably been breathing on his neck in her sleep. Maybe at some other point in time it would have been embarrassing, but there was even more of a closeness between them now, she was past the time when being close to him was embarrassing, and it was now reassuring. So instead she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. Through her sleep fogged mind a great sense of happiness, a giddy sort of excitement was bubbling up.
"Sammy..?" He hugged her back, almost instantly, as if by reflex. He was threading his fingers through her tangled hair.
"We're all here together, Josh." She was whispering the words into his shirt. "I just never thought this would happen again, we aren't completely alright, but we've all gotten better, are continuing to get better. We're all mending."
A shaky breath in a room full of sleeping friends. His words were just as quiet as hers, the only sound in the room other than eight people's light breathing.
"Yeah. We're all mending."